Iron man 2 - HecklerSpray

Weekend Box Office: Iron Man Punches Robin Hood’s Face Off

May 16th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

It was a straight battle of the heroes in this week’s weekend box office. In one corner there was Iron Man.

In the other, Robin Hood. In the other, if we’re being thorough, there’s the Amanda Seyfried character from that new film about letter-writing that looks like it’ll be a load of old bollocks. Who’ll come out on top? Why, Iron Man of course.

It goes without saying that Iron Man 2 beat both Robin Hood and Letters To Juliet at the US weekend box office this week. After all, Iron Man is a flying robot playboy who can shoot lasers out of his hands. And, you know, Robin Hood is a fat bloke with an unspecified regional accent who kills people with little bits of wood and then splodges around in some mud. And Amanda Seyfried is just annoying, obviously.

Iron Man 2 IRONS Out The Weekend Box Office

May 9th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

You know, there must be a whole lot of people who enjoy watching Mickey Rourke massacre the Russian language.

Why? Because Iron Man 2 is number one. It might lack the simplicity and wit of the original, but Iron Man 2 is the number one movie at the US weekend box office this week. And that can only mean one thing – blockbuster season is here. That’s right, between now and September, we refuse to pay to see any movie unless it contains no fewer than 14 giant explosions and a furious metal robot that can fire lasers out of its knees or whatever.

Obviously that means that the brand new re-cut version of The Last Station, where Tolstoy grows a beard made of fire and marries a breakdancing cyborg with metal tits will do well when it’s released next month. But, you know, well done to Iron Man 2 and stuff anyway.

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Know That She’s An Awful Person

April 12th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Great news everyone! Iron Man 2 comes out soon! Imagine all the glitzy no-expense-spared promotion we’re in for!

It’ll be so much fun! All the stars, dressed up to the nines, selling the movie for all that it’s worth. Maybe Robert Downey Jr will say something funny, or Scarlett Johansson will wear something sexy, or Mickey Rourke will be entertainingly shambolic, or Gwyneth Paltrow will declare to the world that she’s full of hatred, revels in the misfortune of others, was incapable of experiencing any maternal feelings towards her own child and looks like a grotesque sack of dogmuck whenever she takes her clothes off.

What’s that? Gwyneth Paltrow has just done that exact thing? Ahahaha hahaha hahahaha ha. No, really, that’s just wonderful.

New Iron Man 2 Trailer – Decoded!

March 9th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Iron Man 2 is one of 2010’s biggest films – because what do people like more than beardy, middle-aged punching robots?

Nothing, that’s what. But what can we expect from Iron Man 2? Will there be more explosions? Yes! Will there be more fight scenes? Yes! Will there be more gnarled, topless old men who talk in an affected Russian accent so ludicrous that it’d be offensive if it wasn’t so indecipherable? Yes!

We know this because a new Iron Man 2 trailer has just been released. But, like most modern things, it’s all a bit too whizz-bang for us to understand. So we’ve decided to slow down the new Iron Man 2 trailer and talk you through it scene by scene. Once again, you’re welcome…

Iron Man 2 Trailer – Decoded

December 17th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Iron Man 2, along with Toy Story 3 and Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, will be one of 2010’s biggest movies.

It’s going to have everything! Explosions! Robots! Robert Downey Jr! Sexy ladies! So many peripheral baddies that you can’t help but think that it’s going to be as bloated and stupid as Spider-Man 3! A man! Made out of iron! But what’s Iron Man 2 actually going to be like? Luckily an Iron Man 2 trailer has just been leaked to the internet, and you can watch it below.

What’s more, we’ve taken the liberty of decoding the Iron Man 2 trailer in its entirety, so you can make sense of all the flashing images and whizz-bang noises. This is because we love you.

Top 5 Macho Movie Men In Humiliating Costumes

June 12th, 2009 By David Scarborough

So you played online poker for three hours and won a sum that a Polish minimum wage employee would snort derisively at.

The disappointment you feel could not compare to that of these fine gentlemen of film after learning what the wardrobe department had in store for them. We've all had to wear tights for one reason or another in our life, but even the butchest of men struggle to pull off these fashion faux pas.

So kick-starting the list is a man who drinks ugly and craps failure…

Film Foam: Terminator, Iron Man 2, Wheelman

May 19th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

Ciphering through the wasteland of recent movie related news, a few choice nuggets stick out between the tidal wave of trailers and clips that have submerged the internet recently.

Sherlock Holmes is now blowing shit up instead of smoke rings and all creativity seemingly being lost, Hollywood enlists Peter Berg to direct an adaptation of the board game Battleships (Wasn?t that Crimson Tide?). If someone doesn't shout out ?You sunk my battleship? then something has truly gone awry.

So at least this week has proved to be surprising! Here?s some more?

WEBTHUMP! Monday 11 May 2009

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – Public hysteria through history – Time

9 – More slow motion goodness, this time ridiculously beautiful – YouTube

8 – The new Star Trek movie would have been better if any of these aliens had been included – Cracked

7 – The Beatles Rock Band game is quickly becoming the best way for rich idiots to look authentically stupid – Gearlog

Blame Gwyneth Paltrow For Scarlett Johansson’s Weight Loss

April 7th, 2009 By Amy Grindhouse

Scarlett?Johansson?wants you to know that she don’t need no steenkin’?bosoms, or no steenkin’ bottom.

The actress, once famed for her?Marilyn Monroe-like curves, has recently slimmed down and is a shadow of her former self.

Rather than take the well-trodden path of just wearing spectacles or living in her gym clothes, when she wants to make herself comparatively ugly and be taken seriously as an actress, Scarlett has?stripped?herself bare. Gone is the long, blond mane of cascading curls. Gone is the hourglass?silhouette. And worst of all, the famed?ScarJo?chichis are now barely a C cup!

Samuel L Jackson To Essentially Star In Every Marvel Film Ever

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If all the Virgin Media TV adverts haven’t already made you utterly sick of Samuel L Jackson’s face, we’ve got good news.

You’ll be seeing more of it. A lot more. In fact, if you plan on seeing any Marvel movie over the next decade, chances are that at some point Samuel L Jackson is going to walk on as Nick Fury, waggle his good eye around and bugger off again.

Because Marvel has just signed Samuel L Jackson up for nine movies – including Iron Man 2, Thor, Thor 2, Captain America and the long-awaited Nick Fury Sings The Hits Of Genesis.