irish - HecklerSpray

Westlife Say They’ll Never Get Back Together While We Preemptively Call Them Hypocrites

November 4th, 2011 By Michael Park

Hello. Are you a Westlife fan, troubled by the news that your Princes are going away to enjoy their moneyed-lives with their families and friends? Are you worried that there will suddenly be a void of mawkish, soaring ballads to sooth you while you self-harm in a bath of ice?

It’s bad news we’re afraid.

Westlife’s members have confirmed that the musical equivalent of an itchy jumper are unlikely to ‘do a Take That’ and get back together in a few years. Is it because Take That were always more relevant to pop music or is it because the Boyzone tribute market isn’t as lucrative as it once was? Who knows. Certainly not us.

Astounding News ? Westlife Are Still Together! Wait… Who Are Westlife?

October 19th, 2011 By Paul Pencott

Boyband no-hopers Westlife announced their intention to split up yesterday, astonishing a nation that had long since forgotten that the third-rate Boyzone-wannabees even existed.

Ignoring the current music fad of reforming (we're looking at you, Steps. And, to a MUCH lesser extent, you, Stone Roses) the PoundLand Take That have decided they?ll buck the trend and actually call it a day. Tiring, no doubt, as they are of being mistaken for well-groomed squinty brick-layers with as much collective recognisability as the bloke who ?does the tampons? down our local.

And, we imagine, are finally admitting the fact that without gurning, pan-faced buffoon Brian McFadden they are as nothing. Not that they're bitter about that. Oh no.

Hey, Look! It’s the Barack Obama Irish Song

March 26th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

During the whole presidential election thing, many people picked up on the small detail that Barack Obama was an African American.

His rival John McCain was not an African American. People claim that some members of the American population would hold this against Mr Obama. Others though would embrace the change and vote for someone who didn’t bang on about a war he was involved in last millennium.