We're a bunch of inventors here at hecklerspray, you know.

It's just a goshdarn crying shame that the UK Patent Office has yet to realise our genius. Okay, okay... so we never actually tested that time machine made of potatoes. And, sure, that teleportation system that runs entirely on warthog urine is only hypothetical. But - seriously - give us a break, guys. Do you think medicines are tested out before they're released? Maybe on, like, animals or something? Yeah, right - give us a call when the spaceship lands, you nutters.

This whole invention malarkey is good for one thing, though - it's gone and given us another reason to hate omnipresent TV chef Jamie Oliver.