HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Rihanna’s Dad Forgives Chris Brown’s “Mistake” But Can’t Forgive A Podgy Daughter

March 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Rihanna: like her or loath her, everybody’s definitely a little bit bored of her. Look at her, out there releasing catchy pop records and constantly touring and performing. She’s living her dream but she’s doing right up in our faces.

Of course, catch pop records and flashing a bit too much skin at a prime time TV audience isn’t the reason that RiRi’s been in the news recently. She’s started collaborating with Chris Brown and by that we don’t mean that they’re both out roaming the streets of Hollywood trying to find women to beat up, we mean that she’s started making music with him.

Way to low-ball yourself professionally there, Rihanna.

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Ghostbusters 3 Left Covered In Sticky Ectoplasm As Bill Murray Pulls Out

February 29th, 2012 By Michael Park

Remember ages ago we told you that Bill Murray might actually sign on to do Ghostbusters 3 despite still actually having a career and a modicum of respect in Hollywood? Well, fear not. He’s gone and ruined Dan Aykroyd’s dream of a reunion by deciding not to do it. Again.

Still, fans of the series will no doubt be pleased to hear that they might finally leave the franchise to die, instead of repeatedly kicking it while it tries to catch its breath. Let it be noted that hecklerspray will not condone jokes about how a franchise about ghosts will never really die and will just keep coming back to life until they are properly secured in a Ghost Trap.

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Rihanna Back With Chris Brown For Round 2 Of Listening To ‘Smack My Bitch Up’?

January 19th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Guess what?! It’s nearly February 8th! What does that mean? Well, that date marks the three-year anniversary of Chris Brown punching ten shades out of his then-girlfriend Rihanna! Ain’t that grand? It really is. The whole world came together like knuckles on eye-socket on that day.

And there’s more!

See, despite previously being forcibly separated by a court order, RiRi and Breezy (honestly, what is it with these nicknames? Are they 10 years old or something?) could be seeing in the anniversary together as multiple sources confirm that the pair have been secretly been (right) hooking up for nearly a year!

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Chris Brown Won’t Be Doing Interviews In 2012 Because He’s Tired Of Being Reminded That He’s An Idiot

January 6th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Oh dear. Poor ol’ Chris Brown has got his boxing gloves in a twist. See, he doesn’t like people asking him about the terrible things he’s done in the past. The last time someone broached the topic of him punching Rihanna, he tore his shirt off and threw a chair at a window.

And so, instead of addressing the issues and maybe saying sorry, showing that he’s grown up and wants to move on, he’s decided to go with another tactic.

In 2012, Chris Brown has announced there will be a ban on all interviews. That’s right. Tired of people pointing out you’re an idiot? Then stick your fingers in your ears for a whole calendar year and laughably suggest that you should be judge solely on your ‘talent’.

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Chris Brown Allowed Back To The Grammys Following His Fisting Incident With Rihanna

December 30th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Bugger. A new year is nearly upon us which means award ceremonies will soon be in full swing. February will see Adele win every award she's nominated for at The Brits because quantity of sales rules over quality of music these days.

The Brit awards are so dull that the most mind shattering event to have ever happened was when Labour politician John Prescott got a bucket of ice water tipped over him. Imagine if he'd froze to death or got his suit ruined?

For real controversy, you can always count on America. Back in 2009, Rihanna and Chris Brown were scheduled to individually perform at the Grammys, the only ceremony in the world where people honour country & western music. Sadly for Rihanna, Chris Brown got a little excited about the evening ahead and started fist bumping her repeatedly in the face. But hey, that happened years ago and it seems the organisers of the Grammys have completely forgotten this.

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Courtney Love: Soon To Be Massively Homeless And Other Laughs

December 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Courtney Love for a second. Imagine, if you can, what it must be like to be that mental. Try and picture the look on people’s faces are you haul your bizarre face around the streets of the world. Just think, how brilliant it must be to be so deluded that you carry all this off thinking you’re brilliant!

All this, despite the fact you’ve never made a decent record in your life, got your child taken off you for being an outrageous smack-head, fallen out with your deceased husband’s friends (who you were accused of killing in a film) and now, being ignored by your own daughter.

AND NOW SHE MIGHT BE HOMELESS! That’s right, our Courtney – as we previously reported – was involved in a fire at her New York City apartment. Trouble is now knocking on her charred door.

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A Little Story About Interviewing Andy Parsons, Being Gruntled And Failing Technology

December 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Here at hecklerspray, we like to interview people. It gives us the opportunity to show celebrities that we have the temerity to be more intelligent than they think we are and, of course, it gives us a chance to show you readers that we have the gall to be rude to someone’s face.

There’s no hiding behind a computer screen here.

And so, we got the chance to interview Andy Parsons – you’ll know him as the bloke with the baldy heid from Mock The Week won’t you? Well. We ballsed up.

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Chris Brown Gets Owned By Kansas Rapper Mac Lethal

December 5th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

All industries are dominated by a few major players -? just look at the computer you're using. It'll either be a PC or a magical Mac that claims to aid you in ways you didn't think existed. In the music world, different genres have varied leading individuals.

In the world of rap & hip-hop, there are plenty to pick from; ranging from Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Kanye. Remarkably, one person whose still has a career despite his woman punchingpast is Chris Brown.

Since his incident with Rihanna and other angry antics, it's remarkably easy to make fun of Chris Brown and the rest of Team Breezy. Team Hecklerspreezy doesn’t mind being the crew to do just that. However, we've been alerted to a piece of satire that is amazing in a variety of ways. So stop reading our ropey sentences and watch Mac Lethal slay Chris Brown with some lyrical pancakes.

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Courtney Love In Bizarre Nirvana Rant And Massive Homophobia, Which Is Splendid

November 23rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Courtney Love’s mother-in-law doesn’t have a front door. She has black mold. Her sister-in-law is homeless. Meanwhile, Dave Grohl bought an Aston Martin last week. It’s an awful state of affairs isn’t it?

Of course, some of you may be wondering where this has come from. Well, these ‘facts’ have come from the oddly shaped mouth of Courtney herself who wants to point out what a dreadful rotter Dave Grohl is and how hard done to Courtney’s family are.

One question: Why doesn’t Courtney Love who, by her own admission earns ‘tons of money’, buy her mother-in-law a front door and put her sister up in one of her large houses? Either way, there’s some videos over the jump which show Courtney and her Hole fans enjoying some nice homophobia.

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Steve Coogan Looks Like Oscar Wilde In Leveson Hacking Inquiry

November 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Like all skiving media berks, we’ve been watching the Leveson inquiry all afternoon while simultaneously wondering whether it was ‘inquiry’ or ‘enquiry’ because we can never remember.

What’s this inquiry? Well, it’s about phone hacking and actual celebrity Steve Coogan was the star of this afternoon’s session.

In the session, he revealed some of the tactics used by news rooms to get stories on him, which of course, shocked us to our core until we remembered that we in turn, steal the stories of the tabloids and republish them here with crass jokes crowbarred in.

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