Articles tagged with: Internet
What a week for Britney Spears - a new album, an X Factor appearance and an uncomfortably sobby documentary. And now this. For what appears to be the billionth year on the trot, Britney Spears has been named as the most popular Yahoo search term of the year. Well, technically it was a combination of the search terms 'Is Britney Spears dead yet?', 'Has Britney Spears died?' 'Seriously, is Britney Spears dead or not?' and 'Britney Speerz is funy LOL' but none of those scan as well. What's most impressive is that Britney Spears managed to beat Barack Obama to the number one spot, which has to smart given his accomplishments this year. But it's totally his fault - Obama had plenty of chances to put on a pink wig, wander aimlessly through a car park and babble in a British accent in the grip of a full-blown psychiatric meltdown, but instead he chose to become president-elect of America, the big idiot.
Circus by Britney Spears is easily one of the top five most-anticipated squelchpop albums released by a psychiatric patient this year. But so far there's been so much kerfuffle about everything surrounding Circus - like the documentaries, the artwork, the tracklisting, the likelihood of Britney Spears going berserk and smearing her genitals up and down a shop window a day after its release - that nobody really knows what Circus by Britney Spears actually sounds like. Well, we do. And it seems like the classic Britney Spears sound is back - you know, sort of generic and forgettable and not very good. How do we know this? Because all of Circus by Britney Spears is available on the internet. Where on the internet? Why, right after the jump if you close your eyes and believe enough.
Hey you! Do you want to watch an obese millionaire tell you a bunch of stuff you already know in an insultingly patronising way - for free? You do? Then does Michael Moore have a treat for you! What with this being an election year, it's Michael Moore's duty to ram hectoring, boorish, borderline propagandaish political information down everyone's throats until they literally fart tedium. Only this time, he's going to do it for free. Michael Moore has announced that his fans can watch his new movie Slacker Uprising for free on the internet. Provided they do it in a designated three-week window and live in North America, that is. If this doesn't include you, don't get upset - you can probably achieve the same effect by going up to a fat tramp and getting him to whine about the government for a couple of hours and then shout at a building through a megaphone.
Why we're surprised by this, we simply do not know. It isn't like things on the internet, or in the news media in general are reported in a straightforward, to the point and down the line fashion now, is it? So it shouldn't be surprising to see that a story circulating about Ali Lohan - Lindsay's sister - has brought the internets to near meltdown. And why? Because there's porn involved.
It's our lucky day - previously when we've watched fights between midgets and wonky-eyed wimps we've needed a credit card and a Bangkok hotel room with cable TV. But not any more because Prince and Radiohead are at loggerheads - the kind of loggerheads that will either end in legal action or a hot hot dwarf-on-perpetual-student erotic gangbang. It's all over YouTube footage of Prince performing Radiohead's Creep at a festival, you see. Prince being Prince, he's had all videos removed from the internet; but Radiohead being Radiohead, they want the videos unblocked because they wrote the song. Who'll win? It's unclear, but it had better not end up with the gangbang scenario, because that's going to result in one ugly unwanted baby.
The internet, eh? Sometimes it can be really annoying.
Like that time Lindsay Lohan accepted our MySpace 'friend request.' How was hecklerspray supposed to know that 'friend request' didn't mean 'please stand outside my house shouting inappropriate sexual slurs before being dragged off by the police in a haze of tear-gas and rubber bullets'? And don't even get us started on that time the internet promised us a load of money from Nigeria.
Pain is only relevant, however, if shared by a celebrity. Any fool knows that. Which is why hecklerspray is particularly enamoured with Kelly Clarkson - she hates the internet too, and she's going to tell you all about it. Well, actually, we are. In a vaguely sarcastic manner. Before linking to the story itself. Come on, you know the score by now.
These days it seems like you're not a real band unless you give your music away free for a fortnight and then triple the price of your concert tickets for the privilege.
Radiohead did it, The Charlatans are doing it, and now gloomy old Nine Inch Nails are sort of vaguely doing it a bit as well. Sort of. A bit.
Nine Inch Nails are releasing their 36-tack instrumental album Ghosts I-IV on the internet for free, with the option of spending more to upgrade to something a touch swankier. Truly, historians will look back on this day as the moment when Nine Inch Nails really shook up the long-established Miserable Ambient Wank That Nobody Would Have Paid For Anyway industry. That's right Trent! Stick it to the man!
