Indiana Jones 4 - HecklerSpray

George Lucas has come up yet with another plan to convince you to hand over your hard earned money to him.

After he made millions with Indiana Jones 1, he sat down for a while, thought about what to do next and came up with Indiana Jones 2. It worked. But what next? He sat down for a while, thought about what to do next and came up with Indiana Jones 3. Incredible.

How was he to beat that? It wasn’t easy. For twenty years he brooded, furrowing his brow and scratching his little beard, and finally his eureka moment came: Indiana Jones 4.

But, people asked, what about the fact that Indiana Jones will be far too old? Don’t worry, said George, if we make jokey references to it throughout the film no one will care. Wow, he’s good. What next? George says ‘how about Indiana Jones…5, with Shia Labeouf as the lead?’

Time to retire George.

Even though Indiana Jones 4 isn't coming out for almost six months, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Harrison Ford have all decided to yak away to Vanity Fair about how exciting old men with whips are anyway.

And just as well, too, because the Vanity Fair Indiana Jones 4 piece answers everything that even the most ardent Indiana Jones fan will have wondered. For example, what's Indiana Jones 4 about? We don't know. Is Shia LaBeouf's character going to be Indiana Jones' son? We don't know that either. Is Indiana Jones 4 going to be good? Nope – still no clue. What's the closest thing that George Lucas can compare Indiana Jones 4 to? A chair. That's a chair.

So that's that all cleared up, then.

George Lucas: I May Well Make Indiana Jones 5 & I May Well Ruin It Further

Indiana Jones 4 Still Coming Out And Stuff