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I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here

Marc Bannerman’s Ex Wants An HIV Test

by Stuart Heritage

If you thought the fuss over the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here relationship between Marc Bannerman and Cerys Matthews was as tawdry as it could get, then we can only pity your poor naive souls.

That’s because Marc Bannerman’s ex-girlfriend is on the scene, and she’s shrieking about HIV. Sarah Matravers – the girl who Marc Bannerman effectively cheated on by trying to cop off with Cerys Matthews after looking at her arse for a millisecond in the jungle in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, has decided to get herself checked out down the STD clinic after hearing claims that Marc Bannerman had already been unfaithful to her. Quite why Sarah Matravers has decided to tell the whole world this is beyond us, but at least we’re learning that bellowing “SHUT UP!” at the TV until we’re blue in the face doesn’t actually make people on TV shut up. So that’s something.

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Bannerman & Cerys Still Blathering On About Love

by Stuart Heritage

The highlight of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here this year was the blossoming romance between Mark Bannerman and Cerys Matthews, possibly the two people in the whole world you’ve thought about least over the last five years.

You see, even though Mark Bannerman had a girlfriend and Cerys Matthews had hands that looked like geriatric scrotum-skin stretched across several wire coathangers, the pair of them fell in love during their time on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. And not just any kind of love, either – Mark Bannerman and Cerys Matthews found the kind of deep everlasting love that only washed-up popstars and people from failed wrestling-based reality TV shows can encounter after spending 15 minutes in a cleared-out piece of forest together. And, by christ, we wish they’d both shut up about it.

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I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Betting Odds: OK, Biggins Will Win

by Stuart Heritage

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is in that tricky final week slump at the moment; all the genuinely awful celebrities – the ones that are fun to watch – have gone, but it’s too early to crown Christopher Biggins the winner yet.

But what a series of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here it’s been! Full of classic I’m A Celebrity moments that people will talk about for years – like when, um, some on them sat in a van for a while and, er, the fat woman threw a semi-tantrum that lasted for about an atosecond. Ah, television gold.

But now that I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is shedding micro-celebrities with every passing day, who’s going to win? Here are the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here betting odds for Gemma Atkinson, Cerys Matthews, Jason Brown, Janice Dickinson and Christopher Biggins, with help from Paddy Power…

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I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Betting Odds: Biggins To Win?

by Stuart Heritage

Even the most hopelessly recluse televisiophobes among you will have noticed that I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is back on TV, but which hapless non-celebrity stands the biggest chance of winning this year?

It’s just as well that we’re here, isn’t it? We’ve got all the latest I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here betting odds for you right here, and even though the betting odds are deadly accurate at time of writing, we feel we should drop a few disclaimers here for the sake of transparency: 1) We can’t stand I’m A Celebrity get me Out Of Here, 2) No, really, we can’t stand it, 3) When Ant and Dec walk across that big bridge thing, we secretly wish it’d snap, 4) In our heads, we refer to I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here as I Can Hardly Be Construed As A Celebrity By Any Stretch Of The Imagination But If I Eat This Kangaroo Anus Perhaps Someone Will Give Me An Iceland Advert. In full. All the time.

So with that in mind, who’s going to win this year’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? Here are this week’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here betting odds – for all of the contestants – with help from Paddy Power…

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Malcolm McLaren Out Of I’m A Celebrity Already

by Stuart Heritage

The new series of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here starts tonight, but it’ll have to do so with one less deeply irritating attention-whore than it thought – Malcolm McLaren has pulled out.

Malcolm McLaren – former Sex Pistols manager, composer of songs about skipping and the bloke from a recent advert for mayonnaise – has suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to be a contestant on this year’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here mere hours before the show is set to begin. Nobody is sure what prompted Malcolm McLaren to pull out of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here – the show where borderline famous people go to Australia, become the host body for all kinds of exotic skin-burrowing insects and survive exclusively on a diet of nothing but testicles and anuses – but it was probably because he couldn’t stand spending a fortnight in the same campsite as that awful Changing Rooms woman.

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