Michael Jackson, Blah Blah, Love Child, Something Else, “Has A”, Maybe News likely to shock anyone with eyes, a brain, at least an ear and possibly a face just in! Love child scandal! Fiasco! Controversy! Other shocking words to grab attention! For it seems that those who are fit to make claims - i.e. the British tabloids - are doing just that, in claiming that Michael Jackson has an illicit love-baby who is now a full-man. Yes, a full-man named Omer Bhatti, who also happens to be a Norwegian rapper. Well that's it settled then - if he's a Norwegian rapper he has to be Michael Jackson's illegitimate, product-of-a-one-night-stand son.

Michael Lohan Reveals He Isn’t Just a Caring Parent After All

In the finest tradition of any parent of a popular tabloid celebrity, yet another money-making scheme has been hatched by Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay and rumoured father of future singing sensation (ahem) Ashley Kaufmann.

This has to be some kind of record, the speed at which the cynical wheels of the man's mind have been turning, pushing him ever closer to the seventh level of hell in his endless pursuit to make a quick buck from his family. For god's sake - it hasn't even been confirmed that Ashley is his daughter. To say hecklerspray is incredulous is something of an understatement. And when we understate, you know something is really up.