Quickly – try to think of something more boring than a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay.
You can’t, can you? That’s because legal disputes between Joe Satriani and Coldplay are the most boring things ever created. If you look up ‘boring’ in the dictionary, you won’t see a picture of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay, because when the author thought about drawing an illustration of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay he became so overwhelmed with boredom that he shot himself.
Anyway, Coldplay have denied stealing a Joe Satriani song. That was our point.
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Imagine if you realised that a song you wrote sounded quite like Coldplay – you’d kill yourself out of shame, wouldn’t you.
Well, not if you’re Joe Satriani. Joe’s claiming that Coldplay ripped off chunks his song If I Could Fly in Viva La Vida, and he’s suing the band for everything they’ve got – so essentially a U2 songbook, some tatty faux-Napoleonic jackets and a scrawny wife who always looks miserable.
Why wasn’t the comparison between the songs pointed out sooner? Because everyone knows that if you own a Coldplay album and a Joe Satriani album, you must be drowned like a witch, that’s why.
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