HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

10 Actors Who Should Really Play James Bond

October 26th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

dannycraig

Over the years, a lot of hunky dudes have played James Bond. Sometimes it’s campy, sometimes it’s dark, but Bond is always fun and always a badass. The super hunky, Daniel Craig, has been doing a great job playing Bond for the past few years, but I kind of feel like he’s done all that he can with the franchise.

So, if they’re going to keep going with Bond (which of course they will as it’s the franchise that will never die), here are 10 actors who I think could really add some pizazz to the character. Yes, I said “pizazz”, but, to be fair, I recently watched an episode of “Jem and the Holograms” soooo….

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Liam Gallagher Should Be Thrilled That Idris Elba Deigned To Touch Him

September 24th, 2013 By Natalia Kemble

idris elba looks smoking hot on a couchThough it’s sadly looking unlikely that Idris Elba will be the next James Bond, he continues to make straight women and gay men (and, let’s be honest, the occasional straight man and lesbian) want to fuck him, most recently on the October cover of GQ, which features him looking highly fuckable and sporting his signature “I want to fuck you” eyes.

The accompanying article is full of a number of interesting factoids, including that he once stole his dad’s golf cart, briefly raised a child that wasn’t his because the mother told him it was, and used to sell drugz. Though it sounds like he sold only weed, he’s probably charming enough to get nuns to try meth, so, good thinking, whoever helped get drug dealer on Elba’s CV.

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Tom Hardy To Make a Billion Panties Drop as James Bond

September 18th, 2013 By Natalia Kemble

tom hardy could be next bondThough Daniel Craig is still alive and well and will continue his double life as 007 in the next two James Bond movies, rumors have been going around this week that Tom Hardy will take over once Craig steps down from the martini throne.

“Tom is right at the top of the wish list. He’s been approached to gauge his interest and he’s keen,” an anonymous source reported. If it’s true, great! I love Tom Hardy. He’s a talented actor with very nice lips. I’m sure he’d do a bang-up job, and I can totally see him doing the whole “Bond… James Bond” thing in his Bane voice. (Do they actually still say that? I’ve only ever seen?Skyfall…)

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Kurt Russell Joins Django Unchained After Kevin Costner Wimps Out

October 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

What is Kevin Costner famous for? Well, he sang I Will Always Love You and said “back, and to the left” for five hours straight in JFK and… uh… he was in the terrible Waterworld. And that’s about it.

And now, getting the chance to redeem himself from such atrocities, he now being lamer than a horse sanctuary, wimping out of Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’.

Thank god we’ve got Kurt Russell – a real man – to take his place. Whaddaguy!

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Emmy Awards Nominations 2011! Hurray! Let Us Roundly Mock The Choices!

July 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hurray! Another utterly pointless awards ceremony is rolling into our collective consciousness to make us take sides between things that can actually be enjoyed simultaneously!

Of course, the real winners in all of this are America’s coke-dealers and the Emmy Awards is timed perfectly so that the dope pushers will have a really bumper Christmas this year. Plastic surgeons are also stocking up on septum repair kits too. How amazingly heartwarming.

The Emmys, as you definitely know, celebrate the best in American television and will be held on Sunday, September 18th… shown on Fox who everyone hates at the moment. And the big guns making vague headlines are Modern Family (*shrug*) and the utter dross that is The Big Bang Theory. In drama, the wonderful trio of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and The Good Wife bag several nominations. Let us peer at the rest of the nominations over the jump.

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Leonardo DiCaprio To Swear A Lot In Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained

June 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

When Quentin Tarantino makes a movie, it is always interesting to see who he’ll cast. He plunders old b-movie actors and the like, putting them up against proper A-listers. He also clearly gets aroused over Uma Thurman’s massive feet, but that’s another story.

While we can’t guess where he’ll go for his cult actors, it appears that the big name attached to his new slavesploitation flick, Django Unchained, is the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio who weirdly can’t act and isn’t that good-looking anymore, but still seems to get gigantic roles.

Sadly, one name that has dropped out of the race is Will Smith who isn’t so keen on playing the title role of slave Django. Shame. It would’ve been interesting to see how the two would have worked together, so we guess we’ll just have to wait and see which action movie Smith with gurn in next.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

stringer-bellThis week?s ups and downs.

Folded:

  • Top 50 US All Stars with Idris Elba (Stringer Bell talks hip-hop in what must have been a seriously surreal few hours for The Wire fans)
  • Wimbledon has finished (goodbye to the only sport in the world players fall asleep through. Still, kudos to Roger Federer and his gold lam? tracksuit)
  • Best phishing scam ever (must have caught millions)
  • Local gyms (full of middle aged Dorises, but at least no muscle men gazing lovingly at their own biceps)
  • Spotting people on the Underground who don't use an Oyster card (tourist – we're going to pick your pocket now)
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