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What is Kevin Costner famous for? Well, he sang I Will Always Love You and said “back, and to the left” for five hours straight in JFK and… uh… he was in the terrible Waterworld. And that’s about it.
And now, getting the chance to redeem himself from such atrocities, he now being lamer than a horse sanctuary, wimping out of Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’.
Thank god we’ve got Kurt Russell – a real man – to take his place. Whaddaguy!
Hurray! Another utterly pointless awards ceremony is rolling into our collective consciousness to make us take sides between things that can actually be enjoyed simultaneously!
Of course, the real winners in all of this are America’s coke-dealers and the Emmy Awards is timed perfectly so that the dope pushers will have a really bumper Christmas this year. Plastic surgeons are also stocking up on septum repair kits too. How amazingly heartwarming.
The Emmys, as you definitely know, celebrate the best in American television and will be held on Sunday, September 18th… shown on Fox who everyone hates at the moment. And the big guns making vague headlines are Modern Family (*shrug*) and the utter dross that is The Big Bang Theory. In drama, the wonderful trio of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and The Good Wife bag several nominations. Let us peer at the rest of the nominations over the jump.
When Quentin Tarantino makes a movie, it is always interesting to see who he’ll cast. He plunders old b-movie actors and the like, putting them up against proper A-listers. He also clearly gets aroused over Uma Thurman’s massive feet, but that’s another story.
While we can’t guess where he’ll go for his cult actors, it appears that the big name attached to his new slavesploitation flick, Django Unchained, is the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio who weirdly can’t act and isn’t that good-looking anymore, but still seems to get gigantic roles.
Sadly, one name that has dropped out of the race is Will Smith who isn’t so keen on playing the title role of slave Django. Shame. It would’ve been interesting to see how the two would have worked together, so we guess we’ll just have to wait and see which action movie Smith with gurn in next.
This week’s ups and downs.
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