Well, OK, that’s a misleading headline – Chanelle certainly realises that nobody cares about her any more.

On Sunday it was revealed that former Big Brother housemate Chanelle Hayes’ attempts to become a pop star had died a death, with her new single I Want It limping into the charts at 63. However, while most people have reacted to this news in the correct way – with a disinterested shrug – Chanelle’s Big Brother ex-boyfriend Ziggy Zichman has publicly called her efforts ‘laughable.’

Ziggy, of course, is an expert on the music industry because he was in Northern Line and their last single got all the way to number 27. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is this – shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. Shut up.