Fun and slightly less so.
Folded:
- BAFTA Best Film nod for The Hurt Locker (hopefully more people will see this excellent film now)
- Tax deadline (no, it’s not a good thing, but we’re putting it near the top so you don’t forget)
- Christina Hendricks at the Golden Globes (feminine, classy, ‘globes’ jokes appropriate)
- Free stuff (work in media, you’ll get it all the time. Shame most of it comprises XL T-shirts, but hey, it’s free)
- Depressing January is nearly over (not long now, try not to kill yourself. Hang on; isn’t February supposed to be even more miserable? Oh dear)
Creased:
- Ant and Dec win again (and we all lose)
- Getting your hair cut in winter (is a stupid idea because you will suddenly be very cold. Plus, if you’re a fella you’ll realise how bald you’re getting)
- Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes (streaky tan, shiny face, ‘globes’ jokes appropriate)
- Beige (it’s fashionable this year. Like you care)
- Saturday early evening television (Ant and Dec are bad, but they’re not even the worst)
Happy face and sad face.
Folded:
- Snow in London (watch for the Dunkirk sprit as brave Londoners don wellies and stand on train platforms tweeting)
- Happy New Year (we hope you shall be very rich in 2010, then die of swine flu and leave us all the money)
- Music channels return to normal (no more Noddy Holder’s Drippy Xmas Number Ones, Peter Andre’s Brain Dead Christmas Crackers, etc)
- Big Cup (notice your belt running out of notches? That’s because you eat too many of these wonderfully moorish chocolates. Now look in the mirror and say you couldn’t give a fudge neither)
- Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr. wears an epic frock coat. You won’t pull it off)
Creased:
- Snow up north (the north? You do mean Watford Gap, right?)
- Jeremy Renner from The Hurt Locker looks a bit like Jeremy Kyle (that’s gotta be horrible for the poor guy. Jeremy, we mean, not the Kyle)
- Happy New Ye- (oh, who can be bothered)
- Careless tweeting (got a work account and a personal account? Don’t go getting them in a muddle and swearing at potential customers, will you)
- Taking the decorations down (do not be despondent, if Christmas gets any earlier you will be putting them back up at Easter – which would not make sense for all manner of reasons)
