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Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Rocky The Musical: Surely The Sound Of A Deaf School On Fire?

June 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The Rocky films are great aren’t they? They started off as a gritty fictional document of a rising boxing star, closing with a film that showed Rocky Balboa resembling a relaxed, tanned phallus that has been dipped in a particularly aggressive wasp nest.

And while you think that Rocky was out for the count (or, It Really Should’ve Thrown The Towel In At Rocky IV Because It Was Ace), you’d be massively wrong.

That’s because Rocky is climbing up the ropes again in slow motion, this time with another hugely stupid idea which sounds like the work of a satirist. Ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner we have decency which is already weeping… and his opponent, in the red corner, Rocky: The Broadway Musical!

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Sly Stallone Launches Clothing Range And It Will Obviously Be Hilarious

March 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Sylvester Stallone is a hilarious man with an even more hilarious face, topped by his even more amusing voice. He’s a man who has made a career of sounding like he’s been stung on the tongue by a nest of wasps.

Of course, he’s much more than a mere actor. He’s a director, writer and launched the movie themed Planet Hollywood restaurant chain which are uniformly awful. That said, it’s kinda cool to eat a burger next to Spock’s ears in a clear perspex case.

He’s also a big promoter of cigarettes in his films and likes getting caught in Australia with human growth hormone vials. And now, to add to this glittering CV, he’s going to launch a menswear line.

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Mary J Blige & 50 Cent Mentioned In Steroid Shenanigans

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Mary J Blige Steroids Human Growth Hormone 50 Cent Wyclef HGHIf you ever wondered why Mary J Blige consistently beats you at 110m hurdle events, there's a chance that the answer may have appeared.

An Albany investigation into the sale of steroids and human growth hormones has thrown up thousands of names, including Mary J Blige, 50 Cent, Wyclef Jean, Timbaland and Tyler Perry. Of course, Mary J Blige is denying the use of either steroids or HGH, but there's one fool-proof way to uncover the truth.

The testicles. If Mary J Blige is on steroids she'll have tiny testicles.

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