Hugh Hefner - HecklerSpray

Playboy Founder Hugh Hefner Has Died

September 28th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Just gonna go ahead and give you a heads up before you get into this, but I’m mega tired and this might get incoherent and weird. Anyway, onto sadder news, a man I was 100% sure would never die has actually died. As the title of this blog suggests, I’m clearly talking about Hugh Hefner.

Hugh was a fucking legend and basically lived the heterosexual male dream life. He was rich, his own boss, self-made, constantly surrounded by beautiful half-naked (and naked) women, had a loving family, and more girlfriends than I could count at some points. I’d say he’s in a better place now, but could heaven really be any better than the life this guy lead?

Amanda Seyfried Makes A Pretty Hot Porn Star

July 10th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Perverts of the world, prepare to rejoice. There’s only one more month to go before you get to gawk at Amanda Seyfried in various sexy situations and have it be completely socially acceptable.

The Lovelace trailer was splattered across the web yesterday, and Amanda looks pretty damn great as the titular character, infamous porn superstar Linda Lovelace, in all her sleazy, big-haired glory. It covers everything from Chloe Sevigny’s tiny fringe to a promise of some Seyfried nipples and a lot of shirts with very big collars.

Drowning in T&A, Hugh Hefner Just Wants Some Applesauce

March 28th, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner likes tits, old movies, and BLT’s … though not necessarily in that order. He’s?very, very?old and?and has nailed lots of women. These are a few of the spellbinding insights revealed in?a feature?article on Hef in Esquire’s April issue.

Hef estimates that he has slept with “over a thousand” ladies in his lifetime, which is impressive to say the least (unless, of course, you compare it to Wilt Chamberlain’s crotch-numbing 20,000). In the Esquire interview, Hugh claims that he was faithful during his marriages, but made up for lost time when he was single.

Incredibly Old Hugh Hefner To Marry 26-Year Old Gold-digger

December 4th, 2012 By Chris Chambers

Sorry, ladies … Hugh Hefner is off the market. The 86-year old Playboy?founder plans to marry his on-again girlfriend, 26-year old Playmate Crystal Harris, on New Year’s Eve. Let me?repeat that for emphasis. Hugh Hefner is 86 years old and he is going to marry a really hot 26-year old who is presumably neither mentally incompetent nor blind.

Crystal and Hef were previously engaged in 2011, but called the wedding off at the last minute. Their split was amicable at first, but eventually turned ugly with allegations of infidelity on both sides.

Hugh Hefner’s Son Charged With Assaulting A Playmate With A Great Rack

February 29th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Remember when we told you that Hugh Hefner’s son – Marston Hefner – had been roughing up a Playmate by the name of Claire Sinclair? Weird that someone who grew up in the Playboy Mansion should objectify a woman isn’t it?

We totally told you, you forgetful bozo.

Well,?Marston Hefner is not only a man who realises that there isn’t a first name that sounds good before the surname ‘Hefner’, but he’s also a man who has officially been charged with assaulting his (presumably former) girlfriend, who was a Playmate of the Year. Prison anyone?

Shock As Hugh Hefner’s Son Uses Woman Like Object (A Punchbag In This Case, Allegedly)

February 14th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Hugh Hefner is a man who has made his millions out of women. He likes to surround himself with the ladies too. Without his objects of lust (which can no longer ‘maintain’ itself), he’d surely wither away and die like a weed.

So, with that in mind, would it surprise you at all that Hef’s son – Marston Hefner – hasn’t got too high an opinion on womanfolk?

It has been reported that the 2011 Playmate of the Year has had to get a restraining order against Marston after he was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence. Hugh treats his women like princesses, provided they do as they’re told. Little Hef, it seems, likes to give the gift of violence. Maybe he’ll win a Grammy in three year’s time or something!

Madonna Talks About Being A Romantic Instead Of The Negative Reviews For Her New Film

January 10th, 2012 By Michael Park

Palaeolithic megastar Madonna says she wonders what it would be like to be truly ‘loved’. By ‘truly loved’ she doesn’t mean by her legion of overly-loyal fans but by someone with something to lose.

The 53-year-old’s sudden interest in love and human emotion comes as she is marketing her new directorial outing ‘W.E.’ and is not in any way a cynical attempt to garner some headlines for a film that has flown pretty much under the radar up until now.

It’s very important to remember that. These are deep, meaningful emotions from a deep and meaningful woman.

Nancy Dell’Olio To Get Her Bits Out & Ruin Playboy For Everyone

November 28th, 2011 By Kris Silver

There's nothing better than a nice antique leather chair to help you relax after a long day at work.

Well, this theory may be put to the test with the announcement that Nancy Dell?Olio is to pose naked in an upcoming edition of everybody?s favourite spunk-rag, Playboy.

The Strictly Come Dancing star is apparently really eager to show everyone just what Iggy Pop?s chuff would look like if he were a woman.

Holly Madison Insures Her Lady Lumps For $1 Million

September 30th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

If you've ever been told to stop making a boob of yourself, then usually you're doing something stupid like stirring a cup of coffee with your wang. Just us? Anyway, in the case of Holly Madison, if she didn't have her busters, her income would dry up faster than a cream-cracker in the Mojave Desert.

When Holly was growing up, she didn't want to be a doctor. Instead, her dream was to walk around in hardly any clothing whilst her employee Hugh Hefner furiously rubbed his thighs so much that his shrivelled love stick would get a friction burn.

Unless she has a fetish for pensioners, Holly Madison was one of Hefner?s many paid girlfriends, but now she’s free from wrinkled clutches, she’s being her own woman! Sadly, feminists will be dismayed to hear that she still requires her chest to get through life and has just taken out an insurance plan on her knockers.

Kiss’ Gene Simmons To Finally Take His Gigantic Tongue Down The Aisle

September 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gene Simmons is a man who says he loves women folk, but you get the distinct impression that he actually hates them. Or, worse still, is afraid of them. That’s why he’s always unfurling that gigantic tongue of his at them.

As an aside, it’s hard to picture what went on when he bunked up with Diana Ross. She so slight that you can imagine he wore her like a glove puppet on his monstrous mouth piece.

Either way, all that’s behind him now as he’s all set to make an honest man of himself and marry his fiance of three decades, Shannon Tweed.