Naked and bare feet, naked and socks.

Folded:

• Batman: Arkham Asylum (most immersive game since GTA IV. If we did stars we’d give it five)
• Susan Sarandon for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (ni-ice)
• Buttery toilet rolls (screw recession, live like a Bright Young Thing – treat yo ass)
• Kirsten Dunst promotes this season’s radioactive bubblegum look (she should dress like this all the time)
• Christoph Waltz (see Inglourious Basterds and see what we mean)

Creased:

• E4 showing off about landing How I Met Your Mother (who hasn’t seen this show already? Still it’s probably the only U.S. comedy export the channel will show this year that hasn’t already been cancelled)
• Shia LaBeouf for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (obvious)
• Gmail goes offline (nobody notices)
• She Wolf by Shakira (she may be as cute as a button, but this song makes even the crazy contorting video too much to sit through)
• Kanye West (believing his own hype again. Bye-bye reality)

You go years without seeing, say, Syd Barrett cameo on Home Improvement, and then suddenly Britney Spears decides to appear on How I Met Your Mother twice in quick succession, thus making her identical to a bus in that one unconvincing respect.

Yes, we know that we’ve hardly stopped yammering on about Britney Spears returning to How I Met Your Mother, but this time it’s official – a contract has been written and Britney Spears has either signed it or wiped a dirty finger along the bottom of it because she’s still not allowed near anything as sharp as a pen yet. Whichever one is true, the deal’s been done.

If you haven’t ever seen How I Met Your Mother – and we’d guess we’re speaking to the majority of you here – the show revolves around the conceit of an old man describing his youth to some children in flashback with the intent of explaining how he met their mother, and the audience has to slowly guess who their mother is as well. It’s a bit like The Jeremy Kyle Show, only slower and not as funny.

Anyway, the chances of Britney Spears being the mother have just doubled. It’s still a fairly unlikely proposition, though, because the children in the show can speak in full sentences, don’t exclusively eat Doritos and live in a house instead of a grotty trailer. It’s clues like this that you have to look out for.

Why have Britney Spears’ chances just doubled? Because she’s only officially signed up to make her big How I Met Your Mother return after weeks of speculation, as The Associated Press reports:

Britney Spears, who proved she’s worth a cool million viewers to “How I Met Your Mother,” is paying another visit to the CBS sitcom. Spears will reprise her role as bubbly secretary Abby in the May 12 episode, CBS said Monday. “We’re all so thrilled to have Britney joining us once again,” series executive producer and co-creator Craig Thomas said in a statement. “And just to head it off at the pass this time around: Yes, Mom, Britney’s very nice and no, I can’t get her autograph for you,” Thomas added, jokingly.

No wonder, really – last time Britney Spears appeared on How I Met Your Mother the show received its highest-ever ratings. True, having Britney Spears appearing on a sitcom a few weeks after she was taken to a psychiatric hospital reeks of opportunistic stunt-casting, but getting a few more viewers to watch a TV show is probably more important than a young woman’s mental health, all said.

One person who’ll either be thrilled or mortified about Britney’s return to How I Met Your Mother is Neil Patrick Harris, who recently seemed to say that having Britney on the show was a stupid idea.

He’s since backtracked like mad over the claims, but that hasn’t stopped Britney Spears from inserting a contractual obligation stating that one full third of her new How I Met Your Mother episode should involve her jabbing her nicotine and Cheezum-stinking tongue into Neil Patrick Harris’ mouth over and over again as a nasty lesson about dissing her in public. Probably.

Read more:

Spears reprises guest role on CBS’ ‘Mother’ – AP

That’s because, after last time Britney Spears was on How I Met Your Mother, her co-star Neil Patrick Harris told everyone that it was just a stupid piece of stunt-casting that made everyone look silly, although he now claims that his statements were taken out of context.

And now that it’s all but official that Britney Spears will make a second appearance on the show, Neil Patrick Harris has made his point of view absolutely clear – he’d be thrilled to have Britney Spears back on How I Met Your Mother, because ethically-dubious stunt-casting is the only thing keeping the poxy show afloat at the moment. We’re paraphrasing slightly.

For a show that’s about as funny as sand, How I Met Your Mother is getting all kinds of stupid attention at the moment, and that’s all down to Britney Spears. Before Britney Spears appeared on How I Met Your Mother, it was mostly known as that show that hardly anyone watched because it wasn’t especially funny. But now How I Met Your Mother is known as that show that hardly anyone watches unless Britney Spears is in it, in which case they’ll watch out of a ghoulish sense of curiosity and nothing more.

However, the thought of Britney Spears returning to How I Met Your Mother has created all sorts of hilarious tensions between those involved in the show, in particular Neil Patrick Harris. When first asked about Britney’s return, Neil Patrick Harris was all like “Ugh, no way. She’s such a massive whore.” We’re paraphrasing.

Harris quickly backtracked when the story was published, saying that everything he said was taken out of context and that actually he thought Britney Spears was the greatest actor since Olivier. Again, paraphrasing.

But it was a good job that Neil Patrick Harris did backtrack like a useless girl, because now it looks like Britney Spears really is returning to How I Met Your Mother whether he likes it or not. So now would really be the perfect time for him to make it completely clear that he’s actually all for Britney Spears appearing on his show again and that she’s wonderful and that she definitely shouldn’t attack him with her fists the instant she arrives on set again. OK! reports:

“I don’t know if it’s true or not,” he tells Extra. “Nothing has been confirmed to me in any way, but we would be so lucky to have her. She was great fun the first time.” And though he’s been on the record to OK! about what a distraction it was to have the pop superstar on HIMYM, the former Doogie Howser star claims that it’s all been taken out of context. “I’ve said all along that she was great on the show and she was and she was fun to be around,” he continues.

Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to work out what Neil Patrick Harris’ real problem with Britney Spears is – he’s worried that if he spends too long around her, they’ll both fall madly in love. And, face it, if a mentally ill woman who’s legally too dangerous to look after her own children can’t turn a gay man straight, then what can?

Read more:

Neil Patrick Harris: “We’d Be Lucky to Have Britney Back” – OK

You will once again get to look back at her and respond to what she says and does, as if she were actually in your front room with you!

Imagine that. All you need do is squint and someone as famous as Britney Spears will be hanging out with a dirty, little, scum-sucking prole like you – as if it were the most natural thing in the world!

You can lie back, close your eyes, get very, very sleepy and relax all your attention – all your being – toward her and vainly attempt to avoid orgasm as she washes you from head to toe with the benevolent waves of her acting ability and general mindset.

Britney Spears is returning to How I Met Your Mother.

A source tells People:

“The show is ecstatic and so is Britney. She had so much fun the first time around she really wanted to come back. It was a mutual decision to work together more.”

Britney Spears will do one episode, so the source says, but Fox studios would not confirm the appearance. They’re no doubt praying that they’ll get to confirm soon though, what with them being Fox – a TV network that actually managed to turn The Simpsons into the cheapest show on earth! The unparalleled bastards of ineptitude!

Cast member Jason Segel said:

“She was hilarious in the table-read, and I got to see her do the run-through as well, and she was great.”

That’s nice. But how about the other co-stars, such as Neil Patrick Harris, who will be disgusted by the news, as he is a man totally opposed to any form of ‘stunt casting’.

However, Neil Patrick Harris will no doubt be absolutely delighted by the news, a man totally in agreement with compromising the integrity of the show’s entire oeuvre in order to get better ratings. Hwa-tcsh! Dance piggy, dance!

Why not read a book instead, dear readers? Or scratch your bollocks for half hour? Or kill yourself (to death, perhaps)?

Anything else.

Read More – Britney Returning To How i Met Your Mother – People

That’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Why on one day (yesterday) would someone say: “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed”, and then one day later (today) say: “As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby”?

What could have happened to change Neil’s mind so drastically in such a short space of time? Hmmm…

Let’s delve deeper. Why on one day would someone say: “I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know”, and then the next day say: “Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact”?

It really is just so strange. What do you think might have happened? We just can’t figure it out. To help you decide, here is yesterday’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:

“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace-ing’ us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game… We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”

And here is today’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:

“It seems that yesterday a writer took some quotes of mine and speculated an opinion about their intent. I write to you to set the record straight. As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby. Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact. I am just very protective of our show, and its content. I have a high standard of quality, and hope to maintain it on every level. Television is big business, I understand that. I have great faith in our casting department, as well as [Twentieth Century Fox Television] and CBS, to find the appropriate person for every role on our show. I was remiss in speculating otherwise. My job description is to act, and I should really do just that. Britney Spears fits into our make-believe world very well — if she chose to return I can only imagine that Carter [Bays], Craig [Thomas], and the rest of the writers would create a humdinger of a storyline for her. We should be so lucky.”

Wait – shhh! Did anybody hear that? It sounded suspiciously like a corporate whip cracking across some jumped-up actor’s arse. You know the sound we mean? Don’t worry, if you don’t, it was probably all in our heads anyway. Just read on and find out:

At first, the Associated Press stood by their story. AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said:

“I respect his right to change his stance, but…Neil Patrick Harris told us unequivocally that he did not believe that Britney should be on the show.”

But, a few hours later, the AP had also seemingly changed their mind. Jesse Washington stated:

“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris did not say that he opposed a return engagement for Spears, and our lead said that he did.”

What the hell is going on here? Can’t anyone just say what they mean first time? What kind of a world do we live in if we can’t trust an TV actor and an entertainment editor to get their facts straight? A bloody horrible world! A world run by ‘leads’ who run amok, anonymously stirring up shit and then anonymously taking the blame.

But luckily for you, the editors of this particular entertainment website don’t fuck about. If we say we’re unequivocal, then we will remain that way, so suck on this equivocation you fickle fucks:

Neil Patrick Harris is man who, for a second, believed his bollocks were bigger than they were and, for a second, gained the respect of hecklerspray for speaking some well thought out truths, but ultimately is nothing more than a corporate shill pussy who needs to shut up and know his place in the world – as a rubbish actor in a rubbish TV show watched by rubbish people in a rubbish world.

At least, that’s what our lead told us, before he scampered off with a cheeky grin on his face. We’d like to issue the following statement:

“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris is not a a corporate shill, or a pussy, or a rubbish actor. He is a top, top man and we love him and wish him and his show all the best.”

God, that whip smarts.

Read More – Update: Neil Patrick Harris clarifies his Britney Spears Remark, AP then clarifies its story – Hollywood Insider

But How I Met Your Mother’s Neil Patrick Harris isn’t having any of it. He’s decided to speak out about the idea of making Britney Spears a How I Met Your Mother regular, because growing an audience naturally is much better than shocking viewers into watching by parading unwell megastars around in front of them every week.

Hear hear Neil Patrick Harris – finally, someone with the balls to speak out against this increasing over-reliance on chasing ratings through cheat stunt casting. Mediocre sitcoms that people only really watch because they’re lazy and nothing else is on, you now have your champion.

Britney Spears is now safely under the care of her father, who so far seems to have done an extraordinarily good job of keeping her out of the limelight to recover from her recent patch of mental illness in private. Which is good for her Britney Spears, but shit for the rest of us.

Because, now that Britney Spears is – ugh – getting better and – bleurgh – behaving normally again, do you know who we have to rely on for stories about alarming celebrity behaviour? Do you? Vanilla Ice, that’s who. Vanilla fucking Ice. Thanks a lot Britney Spears, you arsehole.

But when Britney Spears does briefly poke her head out of the rabbit hole, all hell breaks loose. For instance, Britney Spears was recently on How I Met Your Mother. On one episode of How I Met Your Mother. For less than three minutes in total. But from this barely-extended walk-on on a show that not a whole lot of people usually watch anyway came an avalanche of speculation.

First people were clamouring to give Britney an Emmy for the appearance and then, based on the fact that a few million extra rubberneckers watched the show when she was on it, people starting talking about Britney Spears becoming a How I Met Your Mother regular.

But enough is enough. Neil Patrick Harris – who plays adorably underage doctor Doogie Houser MD on How I Met Your Mother – has said that if Britney Spears becomes a regular on the show then he’ll run through the set killing indiscriminately before turning the gun on himself. We’re paraphrasing. According to the Associated Press, Neil Patrick Harris actually said:

“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace’-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game… We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”

However much sense Neil Patrick Harris is making here, we can see the other side of the argument as well. Britney Spears would bring a brand new audience to How I Met Your Mother, and – if handled correctly – could really take the show to the next level.

Also, if Britney Spears doesn’t become a regular on How I Met Your Mother, then where else is she going to be able to make public appearances? Nowhere, that’s where. If Britney Spears loses How I Met Your Mother then none of us will ever see or hear from her ever again.

Actually, maybe Neil Patrick Harris does have a point…

Read more:

Neil Patrick Harris: Say No to Britney! – AP

In fact, since Britney Spears a) gave How I Met Your Mother its highest-ever ratings and b) managed to get through her entire cameo without puking directly into Doogie Houser's eyes, the show's producers have come up with a brainwave.

They want Britney Spears to be on How I Met Your Mother all the time. No joke.

How I Met Your Mother used to be just another mediocre, barely-watched sitcom. But now How I Met Your Mother is so much more than that – it's the mediocre, barely-watched sitcom that everyone watched that one episode of because Britney Spears was in it briefly.

And, let's be fair, Britney Spears delivered bigstyle in her role. Thanks to her stint in the mental hospital and the fact that she's still deemed too batshit to even see her own children, expectations were so low that when Britney Spears didn't break down in tears in the middle of a sentence or demand to play her character as a squawking British woman or smash up the set with an umbrella, people were actually quite impressed with her performance.

Not just that, but Britney Spears gave How I Met Your Mother its highest-ever audience. And a bigger audience means more advertisers. And more advertisers mean more money. And more money means that some people in the television business want How I Met Your Mother to become the Everyone Watch Britney Spears' Fragile Rehabilitation In Gut-Wrenching Close Up! Featuring The Ginger Girl From Buffy! show. Associated Press reports:

"We always said, 'You know, if her character pops, we'll bring her back,'" [executive producer] Carter Bays told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I thought she was great. I was very proud of that episode." On the following episode, which aired Monday, the show introduced a "mystery woman" who's been sabotaging Barney's usually successful attempts to pick up ladies. Asked if Spears might turn out to be the saboteur, Bays said: "Could be. There's no reason why not." He also suggested actress Sarah Chalke, who guest starred alongside Spears.

Sarah Chalke? Rubbish! She's just an actress! Who wants to watch that? Hey Sarah, come back when you've called yourself the devil and tried to hang yourself, OK sweetheart?

In all seriousness, though, a recurring role on a sitcom might be just what Britney Spears needs. The discipline and routine that goes with making a weekly TV show would be the perfect way to keep Britney Spears on the straight and narrow. It's fool-proof – just look at Britney Spears' own sister. She had her own sitcom and, um, well… never mind. Bad example.

But still, if How I Met Your Mother is famous for one thing – other than ridiculous stunt casting that exploits the mentally unwell – it that it gives people a second chance. People used to only know Alyson Hannigan as Buffy The Vampire Slayer's ginger lesbian mate until How I Met Your Mother, and the same goes for Neil Patrick Harris and Doogie Houser. Maybe How I Met Your Mother can do the same for Britney Spears. The show's weird transformative properties could mean that in the future we don't see Britney Spears as a dangerous unwell casualty of fame, but a a bitpart actress in a sitcom that nobody really watches.

We'd be OK with that.

Read more:

Will Britney Spears Return to 'Mother'? – Associated Press 

So it goes without saying that Britney Spears will probably get nominated for an Emmy for it. Seriously.

Since the Britney Spears episode got How I Met Your Mother its highest-ever ratings, there's now a bundle of genuine speculation that Britney Spears will snag an Emmy nomination for it. Which we're fine with, so long as the Emmys open a new category entitled Best Transparent Stunt Casting Of A Mentally Ill Celebrity To Revive A Mostly Rubbish Sitcom. And even then it'll be a toss-up between Britney and Franz Kafka's rib-tickling turn on According To Jim.

There's something really odd about the way that self-destructive celebrities are given awards. What's that? Amy Winehouse has been taped smoking crack a couple of months after she almost died from a drug overdose? Quick, someone give her a Grammy. What's that? Naomi Campbell has punched a boat to splinters with her fists? Quick, someone give her a, um, actually, Naomi Campbell doesn't really win awards, does she? Bad example, let's move on.

And now it looks like history might just repeat itself. A couple of months ago, the only awards that Britney Spears could have possibly won were the Most Disturbing Dance Teacher award and a prize for being the only person in history who does a British accent worse than Don Cheadle. But now? Now Britney Spears has been on a mediocre sitcom for about 15 seconds, so it's only right she should get an Emmy for it.

Even though the cast of How I Met Your Mother would only admit to being 'quite impressed' with Britney Spears' cameo on Monday's show, by and large TV critics have fallen over themselves to praise Britney's performance in what we can only assume to be a heavy-handed overcompensation for the kicking she gets from other parts of the media. And, yes, that means there's Emmy talk. The Los Angeles Times reports:

Emmy voters love to hail stunt casting in those guest-acting categories. Often when big-name stars condescend to visit the boob tube, they get rewarded with nominations just, so it seems, for showing up — like Brad Pitt did when he accepted an invite for turkey dinner on "Friends"… Now consider all of the people who tuned in to see Britney Spears on "How I Met Your Mother" last night: 10.6 million. That's the highest viewership ever for the CBS sitcom. Audience size matters when you weigh who might get nominated for an Emmy because that first round of voting is determined by a popular vote of TV academy members.

Can Britney Spears really win an Emmy for How I Met Your Mother? Stranger things have happened, and who knows what'll happen if Britney gets an accolade for her work, rather than for shaving her head and getting her chuff out. Plus, if an Emmy for Britney Spears means that House doesn't win quite as many this year, then we're all for it.

But let's not forget that this year's Emmy Awards don't take place until September. Was Britney Spears' fleeting appearance on How I Met Your Mother memorable enough to keep her in voters' minds until then? Worse still, what if Britney Spears gets her act together between now and September? The whole mental illness thing is Britney's USP as far as the Emmys go. If she wants to stand any chance of winning this award, Britney had better go out and do something hopelessly batshit right now. Right now. Batshit!

Read more:

Can Britney — egad! — be nominated for an Emmy? – LA Times 

And last night Britney Spears got the best news of all – she got all the way through an extended cameo on How I Met Your Mother without crying or fighting anyone or pawing at herself or thrashing away at her hair with a pair of industrial clippers.

And now she's gained mostly favourable reviews for How I Met Your Mother, the sky's the limit for Britney Spears again. Who knows, if she can say about ten lines of dialogue sitting behind a desk for a mediocre sitcom, maybe next she'll be deemed legally capable of seeing her own children without frightening them again!

Britney Spears has a had a rough couple of months, what with the whole 'public meltdown/ psychiatric hospital/ gravely disabled' thing meaning that the Britney we know and love – the one who'd spend hours and hours wandering around carparks in a pink wig babbling nonsense in a dreadful British accent at 1,000 paparazzi – was replaced by a new Britney who we know but just creeps us out a bit. 

But lately three things have helped to pull Britney Spears around. One is the ongoing conservatorship of her father Jamie Spears, another is her semi-regular gig teaching children how to dance and the final one is her cameo on How I Met Your Mother.

At first, Britney Spears appearing on How I Met Your Mother seemed like a dreadful idea for all involved – it seemed far too soon to thrust Britney back into the spotlight, plus the other stars of How I Met Your Mother seemed slightly weirded out by it, and the whole thing seemed to signal How I Met Your Mother's new lurch into 'cameos by notoriously unstable celebrities' territory, to be followed with roles by Amy Winehouse, Phil Spector and the ghost of Burgess Meredith.

However, Britney's How I Met Your Mother appearance aired in America yesterday and – surprisingly – nobody hated it all that much. The New York Post reports:

Now clean and sober and under her dad's thumb once again, Britney looked as adorable last night as she did waaay back when. On the show, which she filmed in the last few weeks, Brit looked slim, (OK she was behind a desk), trim and gorgeous. And, more importantly, her acting was nothing short of adorably believable. Good for her. Britney's nerdy, needy character falls for Ted and, in the process, steals every scene out from under the whole cast. Without overacting or overreaching, Britney stared googly-eyed every time Ted came in, telling him how very Magnum, (as in "Magnum P.I.") he looked. Very funny bit.

Wait, Britney Spears is stealing scenes now? We thought she only limited herself to stealing plastic $1.39 cigarette lighters. What next? The Victoria-Transvaal diamond? Has she no shame?

Anyway, people, let's not get too carried away here – the only reason that Britney Spears got such good reviews for How I Met Your Mother is because her mental illness lowered everyone's expectations of her to the point where even hearing her speak a full sentence felt like an important breakthrough. 

But let's not forget that that's all Britney Spears did. She's still got a long way to go, because all she did was memorise some words and say them back in the right order. Admittedly that's a level of competency that Kevin Federline can only aspire to, but let's judge Britney Spears against normal humans for now.

Read more:

Brit Shines – NYP 

But, unless Britney Spears will play a massively unstable bint from Nottingham who looks like she might have a bit of a drinking problem in her upcoming How I Met Your Mother cameo, that'll have to change soon.

Which is why Britney has got there first. To help viewers with the unexpected shock of seeing Britney Spears on TV talking full sentences in a normal way, Britney's released a statement about her time on How I Met Your Mother. True, Britney Spears' statement is so unrelentingly generic that it could be about anything, and we're almost completely certain that she had absolutely nothing to do with it, but it's a start.

We're actually warming to the idea of Britney Spears appearing on How I Met Your Mother now. Like many people, we initially had our reservations about sending a mentally unwell megastar to clown around in public mere weeks since she'd been sectioned in a padded room, but now we can see the positives in it, too.

For example, Britney Spears has already been praised by her How I Met Your Mother co-stars – which will help boost her feelings of self worth – plus it's a couple of days off for those poor dancing children. What's more, if Britney Spears is going to make a fool out of herself in public, it may as well be on a sitcom that most sensible people usually do their best to avoid. It just makes sense.

And already the benefits are beginning to show, because Britney Spears has used her How I Met Your Mother cameo to communicate with her fans for the first time in months. No, we don't mean she smashed a car to pieces with an umbrella or wrote a rambling, sense-defying note about Jesus on her website. Britney Spears actually communicated with her fans in the traditional celebrity way – the generic publicist-written statement! E! Online reports:

Making her first public statement on just about anything in recent days, the Blackout artiste announced Thursday that her week of toiling as a guest star on CBS' How I Met Your Mother  beats psych wards and courtrooms. "Working at How I Met Your Mother has been so terrific. Everyone, including the cast, the crew and the producers, has been wonderful, and Abby is such a fun girl to play. I'm having a blast!"

We've got her back, everyone! Britney's back! Yes, we know that this is just a bland statement and that she probably isn't even aware that's it's been created, let alone released – but if Britney Spears is capable of doing this, then what will come next? Handing out pre-printed autograph photos again? Covering her obvious disgust at meeting her fans with a smile? Underwear?

Welcome back, Britney. Welcome back.

Read more:

Brit: Having a Mother of a Good Time – E! Online 

So, that said, Britney Spears must be feeling a lot of pressure right now as she continues filming her sitcom cameo for How I Met Your Mother.

But it's OK, because Britney Spears seems to be coping well at her new job. That's partly because her How I Met Your Mother co-stars are being somewhat effusive with their praise for her, and partly because Britney Spears clearly doesn't have the self-awareness to realise that every last frame of her cameo is going to be scrutinised for signs of mental illness until it makes the Zapruder film look like a YouTube video of a kitten in a mug.

Britney Spears and her people have had a pretty good handle on her post meltdown rehabilitation so far. It's basically involved listening to her father, spooking out a few children to keep her toe in and staying out of everyone's way. It's worked well so far, especially the latter – to protect her from public inspection, Britney Spears doesn't even appear in her new music video – but it might all be about to come crashing down around everyone's ears. 

As we reportedly yesterday, Britney Spears is filming a cameo for How I Met Your Mother. As far as we could see, there wasn't a single positive we could take from the news – Britney was opening herself up to the public too soon, we said, plus she was rubbish in Will and Grace. But worst of all, by stating that she wanted 'a small part in a funny show' and then ending up on How I Met Your Mother, Britney Spears is clearly far more deranged than we could have ever known.

However, all our concerns were unfounded. Britney Spears has actually started to film her How I Met Your Mother spot and, as E! Online reports, her co-stars have all been quick to find polite ways to say that she isn't completely awful while denying that it's all a con to get people to watch the show:

[Neil Patrick] Harris—who more or less agreed with "quite impressed" costar Alyson Hannigan that Spears was doing a "good job" in her bit role as a sweet-natured receptionist at a dermatologist's office… said the only thing that concerned him about the pop star's very prominent presence was what the casting coup implied about the show's status. "It wasn't like CBS or How I Met Your Mother is trying to get ratings and said, Who can we star-cast to get attention," Harris said. "We were literally just filming last week and told, 'You're not going to believe who just called and said they wanted to be on the show.'"

It's true – although Britney appearing on How I Met Your Mother just seems like kneejerk opportunistic casting to boost rating of a show that fell into a lull about a millisecond after the start of the first episode, it absolutely isn't the case.

And it's a pure coincidence that, after Britney Spears, the next guest stars on How I Met Your Mother will include Michael Jackson, Phil Spector, the ghost of all 11 orbital Soviet space dogs and Chemical Ali. They all just happened to phone up and ask to be on the show, and who are the How I Met Your Mother producers to turn anyone down?

Well, except for Madonna. They'd turn her down if she asked. Honestly, did you see her on Will & Grace?

Read more:

Brit Concerns, Impresses Mother Stars - E! Online

It's a saying that the producers of sitcom How I Met Your Mother know only too well. In a desperate attempt to look funnier than it actually is, How I Met Your Mother has signed up the most harrowing, ashen-faced, unquestionably tragic celebrity in the world right now for a cameo in an upcoming episode.

Yeah, it's Britney Spears. How did you guess?

We've long been under the impression that Britney Spears' father Jamie is a wise, wise man. As soon as Britney Spears tipped over from 'endearingly kooky' to 'disturbingly psychotic' Jamie was right there to keep Britney under control and only charged a couple of thousand dollars a week for the privilege. 

But although Jamie Spears is our brand new hero, he might be losing his grip on Britney Spears just a little. She wants to start doing things again, you see. Actual things. In public. And that's a worry. You see, Britney Spears teaching kids to dance is good mainly because it happens behind closed doors and if the worst happens she'll only ruin the lives of 15 or so toddlers. But Britney Spears doesn't want to stop there.

No. Britney Spears is going to make a cameo on How I Met Your Mother, the middling twentysomething relationship-based American sitcom, where she could end up potentially ruining the lives of millions of hapless viewers. The Associated Press reports:

Spears will guest star in a March 24 episode of the cult series, CBS spokeswoman Kelli Raftery told The Associated Press on Tuesday. The pop star will portray a receptionist in a dermatologist's office named Abby who becomes "smitten" with Ted (Josh Radnor), Raftery said. Craig Thomas, the show's creator, told Usmagazine.com that Spears attended a table reading with the cast on Monday, and that her scenes will probably be filmed later this week. He said representatives for Spears approached the CBS about "Mother" because "she was looking for a small part on a funny show."

Dear God, no. By now you've probably formulated your own list of two or three hundred reasons why Britney Spears appearing on How I Met You Mother is the worst idea in history, and chances are that these are your main bulletpoints:

1) Last month Britney Spears was deemed clinically unable to feed or dress herself. That's hardly laugh-out-loud material.

2) Nobody's going to be watching Britney Spears for see how funny she is. They'll be watching to see how haggard and joyless her eyes are. Again, not exactly ha ha stuff.

3) Considering that Britney Spears has such infrequent visitation access to her own children at the moment, an appearance on a show called How I Met Your Mother shows such a staggering lack of self-awareness that we're just pleased there isn't a sitcom called How I'm A Perfectly Normal Person Who Never Smashes Up Cars With Umbrellas.

4) Did you see Britney Spears' cameo on Will & Grace? That was about as funny as coughing up blood, and she wasn't nearly as mental back then. 

Still, though, at least Britney Spears' appearance will be able to clear up the mystery of how the main character met his future childrens' mother. SPOILER ALERT: it was when he sent her all those dildos.

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Britney Will Guest Star on CBS' 'Mother' – Associated Press