How I Met Your Mother - HecklerSpray

4 Terrible Relationship Tips from How I Met Your Mother

January 29th, 2013 By Daniel Dockery

Before you could put a TV character?s quote on top of an image of the character themselves, relationships were simply fifty years of begging someone to listen. Thanks to a mix of the internet, TV and graphic editing software, we can now explain our feelings with things that fake people have done/said.

I wouldn't call this indirect, but it's akin to being an assassin whose only method is to tweet about all the murders he might commit. If Republicans used this same tactic in their campaigns, you would have a bunch of sixty-year-old men describing the definition of rape as ?that one scene in Death Wish, possibly.?

The CBS show, How I Met Your Mother, is extremely popular when it comes to statements about love and romance. And, as it often is with things that don't actually exist, a lot of these ?tips? don't exactly apply to real life. Sorry, Tumblr.

Tom Cruise Is Scared Of Singing But Not Of 10,000ft Killer Robots Or Whatever They Have In The New Mission: Impossible

November 8th, 2011 By Michael Park

Professional headcase Tom Cruise has admitted to being terrified of the melodic word with his fear coming to a very public fore while filming his new waste of time “Rock Of Ages”.

Tom Cruise is well renowned throughout the world, both as an actor, a producer and as someone who doesn’t know when a franchise is dead (See: Mission: Impossible) but his ability to sing has never been called into question. Even in 1983 “classic” Risky Business, Tom used Bob Seger as a voice double during his trouserless performance of Old Time Rock n’ Roll.

Let’s be fair to Tom though, singing is a terrifying experience. One need only spend five minutes in the company of a Glee Survivor to know that not only are their vocal chords destroyed, their careers are all-but ruined by incessant autotune abuse. DARE to say no to singing.

Katie Holmes: Slag Pumpkin

September 23rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

How would you describe Katie Holmes? Attractive? Wholesome? Trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who controls her every action, safe in the knowledge that aliens told him to do it because he’s the chosen one?

No?

How about ‘Pumpkin slut’? Go on, say it out loud. It has a lovely ring to it and rolls off the tongue nicely. Slutty pumpkin! Tarty lantern! Halloween hussy! That’s right kids, the witching hour is near and Holmes is going to get all promiscuous.

Americans Are Stupid And Their Love Of Two And A Half Men Only Proves It

September 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

America. Bless you for the insanely good things you’ve given the world. Muscle cars, hamburger joints, rock ‘n’ roll and television will always be your crowning glory and us Limeys will forever be in your debt.

However, your taste in television shows is awful. From a country (nay, virtual continent) that gave us Taxi, The Simpsons, M*A*S*H, Roots, Ren & Stimpy, The Muppet Show and more, what in Christ’s name are you doing frittering away your time with dross like Two And A Half Men?

Seriously. What’s with liking Two And A Half Men so much that it breaks network records? Eh? And don’t think we haven’t noticed how much you enjoy the unswerving dreck of The Big Bang Theory.

People Continue To Employ Cheryl Cole For Inexplicable Reasons (Glee and ?A Film With Cameron Diaz In It? Beckon)

August 15th, 2011 By Sophie Hall

You may remember a few months ago (and if you don't remember, you're a liar, because we ALL remember. We just don't talk about it anymore) someone, somewhere on the horizon of logic sacked Cheryl Cole upon realising she is an entirely pointless human woman.

Yeah, you remember. It was brilliant.

After years being mollycoddled (and there really is no other word for it, that bitch got ?mollycoddled good) by Simon Cowell after a number of years of voluntary blindness, a promotion to LA fell flat on it's arse, because some brave stallion of a man stood up in a board meeting and suddenly realised ?Hang on a second. This woman?s dimples aren't cute enough to warrant a legitimate and vibrant media career at all! We've all been duped!? and Cheryl Cole, alas, alas, hung up her stupid purple stupid trousers which were stupid, and headed back to England, to do something or other.

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 – DVD Review And Exclusive Clip

August 5th, 2012 By David Scarborough

How I Met Your Mother?s popularity has been, quite appropriately, infectious like some sort of venereal disease. Taking the template of Friends and leaving the casting of the ?Rachel? character an ongoing mystery has managed to ensnare the attention of young whatnots across the land.

Season 5 shows no sign of slowing things down, indulging in this hump stage ? like most US sitcoms do ?by throwing some extra cameos into the mix, flapping their proverbial arms for attention like an annoying child.

Jennifer Lopez, Rachel Bilson and Chris Kattan all duke it out for the converted title of ?Most Outdated Celebrity?.

Exclusive: How I Met Your Mother Clip

May 14th, 2010 By David Scarborough

we're fairly certain that you are familiar with the American sitcom How I Met Your Mother – after all, it is on E4. Unfortunately, this means that the show is constantly forced into your eye-holes to the point where you are repulsed even by the sight of your own mother.

If you're not up to speed, then let us enlighten your Friday afternoon. HIMYM, apart from its incongruous title, is a rather excellent show about a man named Ted (Josh Radner), who is explaining to his future children how he met their mother. Instead of just jabbering on for a few minutes and cutting to the chase, he talks about his churlish escapades with his friends Robin (Cobie Smulders), Marshall (Jason Segal), Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan).

So fear not children of the UK, for you are tied down to vicious TV scheduling no longer, as season 3 of the show is out on DVD now. Oh, and look, we've only gone and got an exclusive clip for you, you lucky things. It’s Josh Radner (Ted) talking about his favourite episode of the show. Check it out after the jump…

Heidi Montag To Add Another Broken String to Her Bow

March 18th, 2010 By Steve Charnock

Jennifer Aniston used to get paid $1,000,000 for every episode of Friends she flipped her hair and whored about in.

Adam Sandler has appeared in some of the highest-grossing film comedies ever and won acting plaudits for more serious roles in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and Funny People.

Nicole Kidman has a Best Actress Oscar.

AND NOW THEY?RE ALL APPEARING IN A FILM WITH HEIDI MONTAG!

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Naked and bare feet, naked and socks.

Folded:

Batman: Arkham Asylum (most immersive game since GTA IV. If we did stars we?d give it five)
Susan Sarandon for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (ni-ice)
Buttery toilet rolls (screw recession, live like a Bright Young Thing – treat yo ass)
Kirsten Dunst promotes this season?s radioactive bubblegum look (she should dress like this all the time)
Christoph Waltz (see Inglourious Basterds and see what we mean)

Creased:

Britney Spears Totally Back On How I Met Your Mother For Sure

April 29th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

Mentally-wayward popstars appearing on desperately mediocre American sitcoms is a bit like buses, isn’t it.

You go years without seeing, say, Syd Barrett cameo on Home Improvement, and then suddenly Britney Spears decides to appear on How I Met Your Mother twice in quick succession, thus making her identical to a bus in that one unconvincing respect.

Yes, we know that we’ve hardly stopped yammering on about Britney Spears returning to How I Met Your Mother, but this time it’s official – a contract has been written and Britney Spears has either signed it or wiped a dirty finger along the bottom of it because she’s still not allowed near anything as sharp as a pen yet. Whichever one is true, the deal’s been done.