Are you generally considered clean?

Do you enjoy the smell of peroxide? Do you ever float Indian style in your kitchen while that one nice black lady delivers a monologue about shiny floors? Are you pretty good at getting 14-year-old bloodstains off of mostly ceilings but probably a little bit off of the upper walls? Would grunge have appealed to you more if it had a heavier emphasis on germ-free personal living quarters?

If so, you should definitely put all of that down on a resume – because Courtney Love may really think about employing you. She said as much on her MySpace account, the venue she’s using to apparently hire a maid.

Well Courtney love is in trouble. Her house really is a total crap-hole though. Not that we’ve been there or anything. It’s just what we assume. Love spends far too much time sending Kurt Cobain’s ashes on vacation, possibly licking Pete Doherty’s always-peeling lips and generally looking awful to be able to dedicate any real time to personal household cleanliness.

That’s why she needs you. She needs your hunger for a dirt free mansion to swoop in and save her. She’s willing to pay you, you know. The catch is she’ll only pay you in carrots, which is really pretty ridiculous.

After all, carrots won’t pay the cable bill.

Her MySpace plea for a cleanliness-assistant touches on a bit more than the already mentioned topic. Really it babbles on for a bit in a mostly unrelated sort of way. Normally we wouldn’t include all the extra filler, but as it’s all a horrendously misspelled murder of the English language, we just couldn’t throw anything away:

is anyone insanely clean neatfreak near malibu? i need a non thieving non freaky housekeeper

also i need we need a documentarist, someone to document our studio as we go in wedsday, and i have ALOT of work to do til then and i wont just hand this to hbo or bbc 2 or bravo and god forbid not vh1! A DOCUMENATRY NOT A REALITY SHOW. get in touch with jason whp will further put you in touch with jason wienberg at untitled.

and am looking for a young PA type someone whor eally wants to get nto the film business cos as we startramping up pay some dues with me for a few months and you can be on this HTH movie – i think i know who i want to play kurt- he may not be as BEAUTIFUL as the other two but hes got something special and looks alot like him and has a great voice.

i know this is wierd- the agencies suck and im sick of PIGS who steal itts simple as that., so fuck it why not try my space , beats monster . no superfans please. and its very good money. btw the housekeeping part just early hours .”

thanks

wierdo mgcee

Keep in mind as you prepare your resume that love prefers Harvard over Yale, English degrees over mathematical ones, and she’d like to see your stomach velcroed shut so it’s easier to rip out your guts whenever the mood hits her.

Also, if you were involved in some sort of scouting as a child you should list that too, along with whatever merit badges you may have obtained. It might just give you that competitive edge.