10 - And now, hecklerspray presents the most inevitable internet video in history…

9 - Remember Hope from X Factor? No, us neither. But here they are in a snow globe! - Popjustice

8 – Looks like that extra bit at the end of Iron Man was all a big waste, then - LATimes

7 - Like cheese, do you? Probably shouldn’t click this link, then - Livescience

6 - Pictures of famous bastards being bastards – Holy Moly

5 - Microsoft Songsmith might just be the best invention of all time - Best Week Ever

4 - Like the illusion of independent thought, do you? Probably shouldn’t click this link, then – Discover

3 – Somebody buy us a see-though fridge - Tokyomango

2 - Like the thought of drinking coffee without seeing apparitions of the dead, do you? Probably shouldn’t click on this link, then – News

1 - If movie posters were honest – Holytaco

Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn Hope has endured a tragic first year that involved two close family deaths and a messy, drawn-out paternity case.

But none of that matters any more, because Dannielynn is rich! Rich beyond her wildest dreams! Woo hoo!

Dannielynn has just been officially made the sole beneficiary to Anna Nicole Smith's estate. That means that Dannielynn gets to inherit everything that Anna Nicole Smith owned – all her cash, all the potential inheritance from Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to J Howard Marshall, that box of nightmarish clown make-up, the genetic lack of self-esteem – everything.

Of all the things that Anna Nicole Smith left the world after her death, with the possible exception of that video of her absent-mindedly playing with her tits in the bath, none have been precious than her daughter Dannielynn Hope. And we mean 'precious' in the Lord Of The Rings sense, too, because ever since Anna Nicole Smith died people have been squabbling over her like a gaggle of greedy Gollums.

You see, Dannielynn might one day be worth hundreds of millions of dollars if the ongoing battle for Anna Nicole Smith's share of her inheritance from her 14-month marriage to nearly-dead oil billionaire J Howard Marshall ever goes her way. And that meant that people were fighting over Dannielynn before Anna Nicole Smith was even cold.

Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer Howard K Stern said he was the father, some creepy ancient German prince said he was the father, Anna Nicole Smith's trainer said he could have been the father and, let's face it, any man on Earth with a semi-functional penis stood a decent chance of fathering Dannielynn too. But eventually Larry Birkhead was officially named as Dannielynn's father – although that doesn't mean he can swan around spending all her money.

That's because Howard K Stern has rushed through a petition to declare Dannielynn the sole beneficiary of everything Anna Nicole Smith owned, as E! Online reports:

Larry Birkhead's 18-month-old daughter with Anna Nicole Smith was declared the sole beneficiary to the late model's estate Tuesday, after a Los Angeles judge approved Howard K. Stern's petition to clarify his departed paramour's earthly intentions. "We and Mr. Stern always believed that Anna Nicole never intended to disinherit her daughter," Stern's attorney, Bruce S. Ross, said after court Tuesday. "I'm pleased to say this chapter in the saga is closed." L.A. Superior Court Judge Mitchell Beckloff's ruling also establishes a trust on Dannielynn's behalf, with her father and Stern serving as cotrustees.

This news, while hardly surprising, does mean that Dannielynn will have to want for nothing as she grows up. Although Anna Nicole Smith's assets were only valued at $710,000, the J Howard Marshall money will increase that amount exponentially, plus the money from Dannielynn's magazine photoshoots last year will also contribute to the fund.

And, let's not forget that if Dannielynn ever finds that alleged video of Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern sucking each other off, she can blackmail both of them for everything they've got as well. Either way it's a result.

Read more:

Dannielynn Named Anna Nicole's Sole Heir - E! Online 

Bad news for fans of pretty girls wigging about in their pants – Hope are the latest act to be ejected from X Factor, something that means the only female eye candy left on X Factor comes in the form of a self-satisfied school dinnerlady.

That’s not to say that Hope didn’t deserve to be booted out of X Factor, though – they absolutely did, thanks to a lukewarm performance of 2 Become 1 and a version of We Will Rock You that served only as an excuse for each member of Hope to go “WooooahohhAHHHOOOOH!” in turn. But don’t worry, Hope fans – the group promises that it will absolutely stay together forever now, which will at least start a medium-sized bidding war between a handful of subscription-based soft-pornography digital TV channels if nothing else.

But now that Hope are out of X Factor, who’s going to win? Here are the X Factor betting odds – for Same Difference and Niki Evans – with help from Paddy Power…

Same Difference – Last week was a very important X Factor for Same Difference because it showed that they can be marginally less dreadful if they’re not surrounded by billions of gormless gimmicks, so this week they expanded on that by, um, surrounding themselves with billions of gormless gimmicks. For their first X Factor performance – a skin-crawlingly over-sincere rendition of Any Dream Will Do – Same Difference were joined by a toothy choir of candle-holding children who looked like they were kicked out of Narnia for being too twee. There may have been a group hug at the end – we were too busy vomiting our guts out to pay attention by that point.

But, compared to Same Difference’s second X Factor performance of Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, it was a masterpiece of restraint. Sung from beds and flanked by pillow-fighting dancers in dressing gowns, it was a riot of silly faces and wacky dancers that single handedly convinced us to commit some sort of terrible hate crime if Same Difference win X Factor. By the way, has anyone else noticed that the girl from Same Difference hardly gets to sing anything by herself. Why? Is she shit? Current X Factor betting odds – 12/1

Niki Evans – Throughout X Factor, Niki Evans has solidly been the second-favourite to win, but now she’s been usurped by Leon Jackson. Surely that’s a mistake – after all, now that Beverley Trottman is no longer in X Factor, Niki has all the old ropey older lady votes to herself. So what has accounted for Niki Evans’ X Factor slump?

Firstly, there’s the fact that Niki Evans’ songs on Saturday were unstoppably lame. Niki sang Total Eclipse Of The Heart - completing her inevitable transformation into Bonnie Tyler that we’ve been banging on about for months – and then Niki performed a song by Sting, of all people. Sting. And just to make sure that people really wouldn’t like it, Niki sang the song at half-speed  – making it appear to last for about three or four years – in the style of a disenchanted ghost unenthusiastically failing to haunt the inside of an empty crisp packet. Also, how much smugger can Niki Evans get without smearing herself in butter and hugging herself to death? Current X Factor betting odds – 7/1

Tomorrow – the X Factor betting odds for Leon Jackson and Rhydian Roberts. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Beverley Trottman – the schoolteacher with the voice loud enough to knock the moon out of orbit – has become the latest victim of the X Factor axe, and for once it wasn’t the X Factor judges who binned her; it was the whole wide world.

Because of a judging deadlock, the X Factor elimination went to the public vote, and it turns out that hardly anyone voted for Beverley Trottman. Perhaps it’s for the best – Beverley never stood a fart’s chance of winning X Factor at the best of times, and her performance on Saturday did nothing to prove otherwise. Claiming that she was singing it for all the kids at her school, Beverley performed a new version of divorcee classic Without You that included up to 18 different key changes, the last four of which were only audible to bats and dolphins. Anyway it’s just as well that Beverley Trottman can’t live if living is without her pupils, because she’ll be back in the classroom any day now, surely.

So now that Beverley Trottman is out of X Factor, who’ll win? Here are the X Factor betting odds for Hope, Same Difference and Leon Jackson, with help from Paddy Power…

Hope – Hope were supposed to win X Factor from the start, but now it seems as if the only way they could be any less popular with the public is if they dressed as up Steve McClaren and sang the Croatian national anthem. Coming off the back of last week’s near-elimination from X Factor, Hope went for a completely different change of tactic on Saturday – they dressed in black and got all miserable to a Christina Aguilera song. Well, we say ‘they’ but actually it was all Phoebe again, leaving the rest of Hope to look bored and occasionally make intermittent vowel sounds. And yet Hope almost got voted off X Factor again. So what can Hope do to win the public over again? They can let other members sing, for a start, and go back to only wearing their bras and knickers again. Honestly, the bra and knicker aspect of Hope’s X Factor comeback campaign can’t be overestimated. Current X Factor betting odds – 33/1

Same Difference – Since Saturday’s X Factor was Love Song Night, Same Difference had to be a bit careful; after all, there’s nothing like implied incest to win a crowd over, is there? Eventually, Same Difference plumped for Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now – not so much a love song as a mutual declaration of overbearing ambition. But, hey, by singing it Same Difference got to drop the majorette dancers and giant teddy bears and attempt to show the world that they were capable of maturity. Which they obviously aren’t, by the way – during the song you could see the pair of them straining to hold back their wacky children’s entertainer facial expressions, causing them to involuntarily look as if they were either deeply constipated or mocking the disabled. And yet Same Difference still got through to the final five X Factor acts. It’s starting to look like a poisoned water supply might be the only way to get rid of them. Current X Factor betting odds – 8/1

Leon Jackson – Instead of actually rehearsing for their songs last week, the X Factor contestants all got to go home, which meant that Leon Jackson a) went to his old clothes shop and cried and b) went to see his Mum and cried. But crying all the time seems to be doing the trick, because despite being transparently awful, Leon Jackson still hasn’t been voted out of X Factor. And God knows he deserves to be after Saturday’s performance of You Don’t Know Me; a swingy piece of cruise-ship fluff performed in the style of a sozzled nightclub entertainer at 3am on a rainy Tuesday night. However, since his X Factor song was quite slow, Leon Jackson didn’t get the opportunity to show off any more of his violent electrocution house dance moves, a small mercy that we’ll be forever indebted to him for. But, as the X Factor judges are constantly shoving down our throats, Leon keeps improving. That means now he’s just normally dreadful instead of suicide-inducingly dreadful, in case you needed the explanation. Current X Factor betting odds – 8/1

Tomorrow – X Factor betting odds for Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

There are a few rules that one should adhere to when reaching the X Factor live finals – one is to invent as many sob stories about yourself as possible, and the other is to avoid rollerskates, as Alisha Bennett found out on Saturday.

Although Alisha Bennett’s befuddling stage routine to her X Factor rendition of Young Hearts Run Free – plus her wonky vocals – contributed to her downfall, she still has plenty to be proud about. For starters, Alisha Bennett will go down in history as the only X Factor contestant who made Sharon Osbourne launch into a weird tear-flecked defence of people who have to rollerskate to make a living – and if that’s not enough, Alisha Bennett has never to our knowledge thrown a schoolgirl against a brick wall by her hair, which at least sets her apart from 50% of Sharon Osbourne’s other X Factor flock. We’ll miss Alisha Bennett, that’s for sure, or at least – ooh – a day or so.

It’d be longer but we’re still trying to work out who’ll win X Factor this year. So here are today’s X Factor betting odds for Hope, Same Difference and Leon Jackson, with help from Paddy Power…

Hope – Well, ain’t this quite the turnaround – Hope, the girlgroup lauded to win X Factor at the start of the competition, are now rank outsiders. But why? Perhaps it’s because Hope aren’t actually a girlgroup – anyone watching Hope’s performance of Gimme Gimme Gimme on Saturday will have noticed that only one of them is allowed to sing, only one of them is allowed to talk and all the others may as well be kebab-meat kestrel sculptures for all the good they actually sodding do. As it happens, Hope’s X Factor routine wasn’t especially awful – there was a clever little Madonna mash-up bit plus the whole thing doubled up as a fun ‘count the cameltoes’ side-game – but with two X Factor sing-offs under their belt, Hope are going to need to change strategy sharpish. This either means they all share the vocals more equally in the future or they start writhing about like jelly-spined prostitutes high on catnip again. We know which one we’d prefer. Current X Factor betting odds – 12/1

Same Difference – Saturday was the X Factor Disco Night, but if you didn’t know that and only saw Same Difference’s performance of Blame It On The Boogie you may have thought that you were watching the X Factor 1983 Lithuanian Eurovision Song Contest Qualifying Round Night. Pretty much everything about it was awful, from the golden tracksuits to the horrifying attempts at raunch to the alarming realisation that Same Difference are somehow even more creepy when they’re singing to people they’re not directly related to. It says a lot about Same Difference’s X Factor performance that it was easily their most mature song to date, and it was written by perennial eerie boychild Michael Jackson when he was 20. Since logic dictates that Same Difference narrowly avoided the sing-off on Saturday, we’d imagine that they’ll be back doing what they do best next week – churning out the theme-tune to Dora The Explorer dressed up as bumblebees. Current X Factor betting odds – 10/1

Leon Jackson - You may know Leon Jackson as X Factor‘s resident red-eyed wuss, but a quiet transformation has been taking place over the weeks. You see, despite being very obviously terrible, Leon Jackson has gone seven weeks without facing X Factor elimination, which has built his confidence up somewhat – and now traces of Leon’s real personality are coming out. It’s just a shame that Leon’s real personality seems to be fairly bastard-heavy. Even though all he did on Saturday’s X Factor was sing Relight My Fire with his knees constantly bent like he’d just shat himself while wearing a sparkly Scottish flag on his T-shirt – in itself an act of regional desperation so nauseating that it literally made us chew our own ankles off – Leon started hoofing about in front of the X Factor judges like some sort of obnoxious Little Lord Fauntleroy who’d just won the pools. In truth, though, we didn’t hate Leon’s routine – we just can’t bring ourselves to forge an opinion about it. Current X Factor betting odds – 10/1

Tomorrow – X Factor betting odds for Beverley Trottman, Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Now that Brian Friedman seems contractually obliged to appear in every single X Factor contestant training VT package, it looks like there’s no room for the X Factor celebrity mentoring we enjoyed so much last year.

But that’s OK, because in its place we get to see a string of massively generic X Factor theme nights like Love Song Night or Songs From The Movies Night, or Saturday’s 21st Century Night. Now, it might be a sign of our own age, but when we heard that X Factor was doing a 21st Century Night we envisioned silver tinfoil dresses, robot dog backing singers and cutting-edge, fiercely futuristic music. Is that what X Factor gave us? No. X Factor gave us James Blunt covers. Oh, the humanity.

Who’s going to win X Factor this year? Here are the X Factor betting odds for Same Difference, Leon Jackson and Hope. Betting odds, as ever, come from Paddy Power…

Same Difference – On Saturday’s X Factor the parts of Same Difference were played by H From Steps and the Reese Witherspoon character from Election. In a toyshop. In hell. Our jaw dropped so much when we saw Same Difference’s performance of I Don’t Feel Like Dancing that it actually dislocated, so ill-judged were all the trikes and trampolines and conga-dancing and dancers dressed as wooden soldiers and fairies that went into their routine. We haven’t even got round to questioning how Same Difference managed to get through to next week’s X Factor yet because we’re still trying to work out why everyone watching X Factor didn’t kick their TVs to splinters at the mere sight of the Same Difference boy’s “Hey, look at me, I’m so kerrr-azy!” face. Can someone please, please lace Same Difference’s drinking water with Ritalin before Saturday before it’s too late? Current X Factor betting odds – 14/1

Leon Jackson - Leon didn’t get to wheel out his “Ah’m jist a wee working class lad fra Scotland” shtick on Saturday’s X Factor because he had a sore throat, which apparently meant that singing made him feel like he was “being stabbed in the throat.” Substitute ‘throat’ for ‘eyes and ears’ and that’s a pretty good description of how Leon’s singing makes us feel too. But, anyway, on Saturday’s X Factor Leon Jackson got to sing Dancing In The Moonlight – a tough choice not only because of his ailment but also because it was almost impossible for him to do a worse job on the song than Toploader did. But, love him, Leon managed it by peppering the performance with intermittent high-pitched whoops that made him sound as if he was being goosed by a mischievous ghost throughout the song. But Leon still sailed through the voting, which will help to further boost his confidence. And you know what that means – more useless dancing next week. Current X Factor betting odds – 14/1

Hope – We’re developing an unnatural thing for Raquelle from Hope, and it’s unnatural because she’s clearly an idiot. Case in point – before Hope’s performance of Back To Black by Amy Winehouse, Raquelle took the lion’s share of the pre-song X Factor VT to say how her parent’s divorce affected her as a child and how she was going to sing ‘from the depths of her soul’ during the group’s song. Turns out that her soul only consists of vowels, because all Raquelle did during the song was go “Ooooh” and “Aaaah” while one of the other girls sang all of the actual words by herself. Anyway, Hope’s X Factor song was a clear turnaround from last week’s show when they faced elimination, because this time they tried a normal song sung normally with no slutting around. But what’s Hope without songs about bras and shagging? Vapour, by the looks of it. Current X Factor betting odds – 6/1

Tomorrow – X Factor betting odds for Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Perhaps this says more about our state of mind than the show itself, but we’re only three weeks in and this season of X Factor is starting to seem like the most controversial one yet.

We’ve seen Sharon Osbourne get her knickers in a twist and leave X Factor only to squirm back again the following week, we’ve seen Emily Nakanda hurl a schoolgirl against a brick wall by her hair and get kicked off X Factor – the big question is what happens next. Will Louis Walsh be asked to leave X Factor for stabbing Simon Cowell in the neck with a biro while shouting “Don’t tell me what to do!”? Will Same Difference be removed from X Factor for having it off with each other? Will Rhydian stare directly into the camera and impart an ancient curse that will turn X Factor‘s audience into zombie soldiers who follow his every word? Probably the last one, we’d imagine.

But who’ll win X Factor? Here are the X Factor betting odds for Beverley Trottman, Leon Jackson and Hope, with betting odds from Paddy Power…

Beverley Trottman – Each year on X Factor there’s an older female contestant who regularly sings the competition into dust but clearly doesn’t stand a hope of winning the show, and that’s the case with Beverley Trottman, whose X Factor version of Feeling Good was confident, strong and electrifying, yet completely forgettable the instant it was over. Don’t ask us why, it’s utterly unexplainable. Still, as everyone is so keen on pointing out, X Factor is important to Beverley Trottman because at the moment she’s ‘just’ a primary school teacher, but X Factor is allowing her to be the woman she’s always dreamt of being – a peripheral singer on a teatime ITV talent show for eight weeks before she’s inevitably voted off and goes back to being a primary school teacher, albeit a slightly more embittered one. Current X Factor betting odds – 10/1

Leon Jackson – You know what we’re getting sick of? Listening to Leon Jackson do his “I’m just an ordinary wee lad from Scotland” shtick on his X Factor VT package week after week after week. Because, you know, we thought X Factor was all about finding a star, not a terrified-looking ordinary wee lad from Scotland who cries a lot. Anyway, Leon’s X Factor performance of Fly Me To The Moon on Saturday was uniformly called his best yet by the X Factor judges, possibly because he wasn’t pulling a face that suggested he could see a gang of masked men beat his mother to death while he was singing it. Even though it was more suited to a SAGA cruise ship cabaret night than a prime-time TV show, and featured a dance that looked like he was being attacked by a swarm of invisible bees, in truth it was Leon’s best routine. Which means that on next week’s X Factor we can be treated to Leon Jackson the obnoxious egomaniac. Yay. Current X Factor betting odds – 7/1

Hope – Although they’re clearly being pushed by Simon Cowell as potential X Factor winners, on Saturday Hope found themselves in the bottom two sing-off. But why? Here’s what we’ve got so far - 1) Hope’s X Factor song was Hanky Panky, possibly one of Madonna‘s least-liked singles. 2) Due to what we assume was a sound-mixing cock-up, Hope were completely swamped by the big band during their X Factor performance. 3) Instead of writhing about in their knickers like in previous shows, this time Hope were all dressed as single mother Chatham schoolgirls. 4) Hope ran over and kissed Simon Cowell in the middle of their song, an act so stomach-turning they may as well performed vivisection on Socks the Blue Peter cat instead. To stay a part of X Factor, Hope need to remember what they’re good at – performing nearly-nude versions of the audio track to Butt Sluts 5. Current X Factor betting odds – 5/1

Tomorrow: X Factor betting odds for Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

X Factor enters its third week of live finals on Saturday, and it’ll need to pull out all the stops to compete with the thousands of damp, miserable firework displays going on up and down the country at the same time.

Actually, who are we kidding? If there’s one thing that X Factor is world class at, it’s disappointing pyrotechnics – whether it’s Sharon Osbourne flouncing off the show and then sheepishly coming back again three seconds later, the painfully deliberate bickering between the other X Factor judges or the singers themselves, who this year all seem to have been pulled from the back row of a nativity play run by a specialist school for the hopelessly untalented. X Factor is the televisual equivalent of watching a boy try to write his name in the air with a sparkler, but without the exciting but at the end where he badly burns his hand. And, tragically, we’re hooked already.

Here’s the last of this week’s X Factor betting odds to win – for Hope, Rhydian Roberts and Niki Evans – with help from Paddy Power…

Hope – Everyone’s talking about Hope. Well, talking and shifting around uncomfortably in their seats trying to cover their genitals, anyway. While it’s far too early to single out Hope as potential X Factor winners, it is fair to say that they’re the act this year who most closely resemble the window display of a mid-to-large Amsterdam brothel. On Saturday’s X Factor, Hope performed Lady Marmalade while writhing around on the floor like a bunch of deeply erotic tapeworm, causing all kinds of blood pressure problems among the male X Factor viewership. But we’re starting to worry that the sexy act will start wearing off if it’s all they rely on. So maybe Hope should think about ramping it up a little bit next week. We can’t be the only ones who want to see Hope singing I Will Always Love You while doing each other with strap-on dildos, can we? Current X Factor betting odds – 7/2

Rhydian Roberts – Phantom Of The Opera, of course. With the possible exception of Chico having a breakdancing contest with some kids, Rhydian’s X Factor performance of Phantom Of The Opera was hands-down the weirdest moment in the show’s history, all fire and smoke and terrifying unblinking shouting. We’re told that the song has long been Rhydian’s favourite, which could account for the totalitarian, power-deranged way that he went about singing it. While it could have been Rhydian’s high point of the entire series – it’ll be hard for him to commit so heavily when, say, J-Lo night rolls around – let’s all just pray that Rhydian Roberts never ever wins X Factor. Because that’ll only just make Rhydian’s inevitable ambition to make a concept double album about Mordor one horrible step closer to reality. Current X Factor betting odds – 11/4

Niki Evans – Well, we make that one whole week without Niki Evans mentioning her dead father, meaning that she must be in need of another USP. How’s this – she’s singing Celine Dion‘s song… while Celine Dion is in the building! That’s crazy and something that completely hasn’t happened before in the past when everyone had to sing Abba songs in front of Abba or Rod Stewart songs in front of Rod Stewart. Anyway, long story short, Niki Evans sang My Heart Will Go On on Saturday’s X Factor, she did it well and now she’s the favourite to win. But X Factor is just two weeks old and already we’re getting a bit bored of Niki’s ‘power ballad with lyrics sung behind the beat to make it sound more emotional’ shtick. So next week, let’s hope Niki does us all a favour and mixes it up by singing Kill Or Be Killed by Bloodclaat Gangsta Youth. Current X Factor betting odds – 5/2

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.