Articles tagged with: Hollywood
Has The Recession Finally Hit Hollywood?
Some people are spoiled, some are deluded. Some are wrapped in a bubble of inescapable idiocy and some are so far gone and delusional that not even smacking them around the face with a sharp dose of reality will do them any good. Which of those categories the formerly likeable actor Owen Wilson falls into for his lack of ability to understand how the recession has hit 'the little people' remains to be seen.
Some people are spoiled, some are deluded. Some are wrapped in a bubble of inescapable idiocy and some are so far gone and delusional that not even smacking them around the face with a sharp dose of reality will do them any good. Which of those categories the formerly likeable actor Owen Wilson falls into for his lack of ability to understand how the recession has hit 'the little people' remains to be seen.
Actor Strike: Hollywood’s Weird, Slightly Crappy Civil War
Previously, the only way you'd see Tom Hanks fighting Mel Gibson was to watch the unmade movie Forrest Gump Punches Mad Max In Space. But now Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson have emerged as figureheads on opposing sides of a dispute over whether actors should go on strike because there aren't enough fame-blinded young nymphomaniacs who'll indulge their every fleeting sexual whim or whatever. Mel Gibson is for the strike, Tom Hanks is against it. Sadly Mel Gibson will win, because the dispute will be settled by charging at each other across a field. Poor Tom Hanks - if only it involved growing a crap mullet and ranting about Jesus.
Previously, the only way you'd see Tom Hanks fighting Mel Gibson was to watch the unmade movie Forrest Gump Punches Mad Max In Space. But now Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson have emerged as figureheads on opposing sides of a dispute over whether actors should go on strike because there aren't enough fame-blinded young nymphomaniacs who'll indulge their every fleeting sexual whim or whatever. Mel Gibson is for the strike, Tom Hanks is against it. Sadly Mel Gibson will win, because the dispute will be settled by charging at each other across a field. Poor Tom Hanks - if only it involved growing a crap mullet and ranting about Jesus.
Flash Gordon Remake Gets Some Writers, Probably to Make it all Gritty and Urban
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun... Flash! Pakow! Ahhh! It's quite difficult to decide what made up word successfully describes the noise after 'Flash!' is cried on the Queen song, but hecklerspray has gone with 'pakow!' and forever it will remain that way. What is less difficult to describe is the news that Flash Gordon, polo playing (or american footballer, depending on how much stock you put in the 80s film) hero of the universe, is to make a return to the big screen. This comes across as particularly strange, following the fact that the recent Flash Gordon TV series was received in the way a crap-covered balloon given to a child with a terminal illness would be received. Stretched analogies aside, we mean the TV show wasn't very good. And it still isn't, actually. But this hasn't stopped Hollywood in their never-ending quest to rape nostalgia forever, which has frankly become such a stupidly common occurrence that we feel we should give it an official name. Leave your suggestions below.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun... Flash! Pakow! Ahhh! It's quite difficult to decide what made up word successfully describes the noise after 'Flash!' is cried on the Queen song, but hecklerspray has gone with 'pakow!' and forever it will remain that way. What is less difficult to describe is the news that Flash Gordon, polo playing (or american footballer, depending on how much stock you put in the 80s film) hero of the universe, is to make a return to the big screen. This comes across as particularly strange, following the fact that the recent Flash Gordon TV series was received in the way a crap-covered balloon given to a child with a terminal illness would be received. Stretched analogies aside, we mean the TV show wasn't very good. And it still isn't, actually. But this hasn't stopped Hollywood in their never-ending quest to rape nostalgia forever, which has frankly become such a stupidly common occurrence that we feel we should give it an official name. Leave your suggestions below.
Lethal Weapon 5: They Really, Really Are Too Old For This… Stuff
Never let it be said that we of hecklerspray are ever anything but right all the time. ALL THE TIME*. Just as we say, non-stop, that Hollywood has run out of ideas - reporting on the Goonies sequel, The Smurfs movie (Lindsay Lohan's role as 'Big Lesbian Smurf' still unconfirmed) and the fear we all felt when the Friends movie was rumoured - they come and do it again. This time it's the turn of Lethal Weapon 5, where they really, really will be too old for this shizzle. Or they might be too drunk, who knows?
Never let it be said that we of hecklerspray are ever anything but right all the time. ALL THE TIME*. Just as we say, non-stop, that Hollywood has run out of ideas - reporting on the Goonies sequel, The Smurfs movie (Lindsay Lohan's role as 'Big Lesbian Smurf' still unconfirmed) and the fear we all felt when the Friends movie was rumoured - they come and do it again. This time it's the turn of Lethal Weapon 5, where they really, really will be too old for this shizzle. Or they might be too drunk, who knows?
Shia LaBeouf Arrested For The Old Glug Glug Vroom Vroom
It's weird to think that Shia LaBeouf could ever get arrested for DUI, but that's because he looks like he's about six years old. Honestly, look at Shia LaBeouf's adorable little puppydog face - it's as if a single drop of alcohol has never passed his lips. But apparently it has - early yesterday morning Shia LaBeouf was arrested on suspicion of DUI after he crashed his car in Hollywood. Really though? Shia LaBeouf? DUI? There must be another explanation. Perhaps Shia was impaired on something other than alcohol, like Haribo or Um Bongo. And perhaps he only crashed his car because his adorable little legs couldn't stretch all the way down to the pedals, the wubby little lamby wamb.
It's weird to think that Shia LaBeouf could ever get arrested for DUI, but that's because he looks like he's about six years old. Honestly, look at Shia LaBeouf's adorable little puppydog face - it's as if a single drop of alcohol has never passed his lips. But apparently it has - early yesterday morning Shia LaBeouf was arrested on suspicion of DUI after he crashed his car in Hollywood. Really though? Shia LaBeouf? DUI? There must be another explanation. Perhaps Shia was impaired on something other than alcohol, like Haribo or Um Bongo. And perhaps he only crashed his car because his adorable little legs couldn't stretch all the way down to the pedals, the wubby little lamby wamb.
Fred Claus Star Vince Vaughn Somehow Named Most Valuable Actor
You want success? Try playing exactly the same yammering, flab-faced huckster character in every film you star in. It seems to work for Vince Vaughn, because he's just been named as Forbes' most valuable actor. For every dollar that Vince Vaughn was paid for Dodgeball, The Break-Up and Wedding Crashers, he pulled in $14.71 of gross income for his studios. That's impressive stuff, and Vince Vaughn should be incredibly proud of his achievements. Speaking of which, Vince Vaughn should also be incredibly proud next year when Forbes calculates his salary against Fred Claus and that awful-looking Christmas movie he's making with Reese Witherspoon and names him as its most overpaid one-note, off-script, pointlessly rambling unfunny egobeast.
You want success? Try playing exactly the same yammering, flab-faced huckster character in every film you star in. It seems to work for Vince Vaughn, because he's just been named as Forbes' most valuable actor. For every dollar that Vince Vaughn was paid for Dodgeball, The Break-Up and Wedding Crashers, he pulled in $14.71 of gross income for his studios. That's impressive stuff, and Vince Vaughn should be incredibly proud of his achievements. Speaking of which, Vince Vaughn should also be incredibly proud next year when Forbes calculates his salary against Fred Claus and that awful-looking Christmas movie he's making with Reese Witherspoon and names him as its most overpaid one-note, off-script, pointlessly rambling unfunny egobeast.
Vatican To Make Comprehensive List Of Films They Allow On Location
The Catholic Church says there's not a chance in the deepest depths of heck that the Da Vinci Code or anything even remotely related to the Da Vinci Code will ever be filmed in it again. And just so Hollywood can stop embarrassing itself by getting constant refusals from them, they're inventing a list of guidelines as to what types of films would be considered good film-on-site Vatican-worthy cinema. It begs to question exactly what films ol' V-town would find acceptable to film in their churches. Clearly Angels and Demons is out, but would they have allowed Darth Vader to cut off Luke's hand in the chapel? Would Big Trouble have been permitted in their Little China? Would our mother and step-dad be able to make love in any of the 16 feature length films we're currently making about how they first met, for each of which the manuscript is over 1000 pages long? These are the questions that spring readily to mind.
The Catholic Church says there's not a chance in the deepest depths of heck that the Da Vinci Code or anything even remotely related to the Da Vinci Code will ever be filmed in it again. And just so Hollywood can stop embarrassing itself by getting constant refusals from them, they're inventing a list of guidelines as to what types of films would be considered good film-on-site Vatican-worthy cinema. It begs to question exactly what films ol' V-town would find acceptable to film in their churches. Clearly Angels and Demons is out, but would they have allowed Darth Vader to cut off Luke's hand in the chapel? Would Big Trouble have been permitted in their Little China? Would our mother and step-dad be able to make love in any of the 16 feature length films we're currently making about how they first met, for each of which the manuscript is over 1000 pages long? These are the questions that spring readily to mind.
Paul Newman ‘Doing Nicely’, World Breathes Sigh of Relief
There was a golden age in the movies when actors acted, when movies were interesting and when men were MEN. It was an age of moralising without snobbery, with heroes you wanted to be and leading men you wished you could just hug and say 'thank you' to. Paul Newman is a man from that age, and to this day he carries on being a shining example to the world of Hollywood as to what makes a man.
There was a golden age in the movies when actors acted, when movies were interesting and when men were MEN. It was an age of moralising without snobbery, with heroes you wanted to be and leading men you wished you could just hug and say 'thank you' to. Paul Newman is a man from that age, and to this day he carries on being a shining example to the world of Hollywood as to what makes a man.
