Articles tagged with: Holly Madison
Now Kendra Wilkinson Breaks Hugh Hefner’s Mangy Old Heart
Hugh Hefner's girlfriends are fleeing at an amazing rate - it's almost as if withered octogenarians aren't sexy any more, isn't it. First Hugh Hefner's heart was broken by the loss of his number one girlfriend Holly Madison, who made the somewhat perplexing decision to run off with a rubbish emo magician. And now one of his other girlfriends - the equally generic titty model Kendra Wilkinson - has decided to leave Hugh Hefner and get engaged to an American football player as well. Although Hugh Hefner seems to remain on good terms with Kendra Wilkinson, this news must have nevertheless bruised him quite badly. After all, it's hardly as if Hugh Hefner lives in a great big house stuffed full of identical booby halfwits all willing to have gruesome, underwhelming sex with a frail 82-year-man just because they'll probably get a minor role on a crappy reality TV show out of it, is it? Oh.
Hugh Hefner's girlfriends are fleeing at an amazing rate - it's almost as if withered octogenarians aren't sexy any more, isn't it. First Hugh Hefner's heart was broken by the loss of his number one girlfriend Holly Madison, who made the somewhat perplexing decision to run off with a rubbish emo magician. And now one of his other girlfriends - the equally generic titty model Kendra Wilkinson - has decided to leave Hugh Hefner and get engaged to an American football player as well. Although Hugh Hefner seems to remain on good terms with Kendra Wilkinson, this news must have nevertheless bruised him quite badly. After all, it's hardly as if Hugh Hefner lives in a great big house stuffed full of identical booby halfwits all willing to have gruesome, underwhelming sex with a frail 82-year-man just because they'll probably get a minor role on a crappy reality TV show out of it, is it? Oh.
Hugh Hefner ‘High Maintenance’ Says Fake-Blonde Nudey Bimbo
When Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison split up, it darn-near destroyed our belief in relationships between people with a 54-year age gap. It hasn't, of course - which is why we've still got the horn for Fidel Castro - but it did come close. For the life of us, we couldn't work out why the pretty young topless model Playmate Holly Madison split up with a wrinkled old almost-dead pensioner like Hugh Hefner. And now we know. Speaking about the split, Holly Madison has said that she ended things with Hugh Hefner because he was so 'high maintenance'. And, coming from a woman who looks like she needs six hours each morning to paint herself exactly the right shade of orange transvestite, that must be really saying something.
When Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison split up, it darn-near destroyed our belief in relationships between people with a 54-year age gap. It hasn't, of course - which is why we've still got the horn for Fidel Castro - but it did come close. For the life of us, we couldn't work out why the pretty young topless model Playmate Holly Madison split up with a wrinkled old almost-dead pensioner like Hugh Hefner. And now we know. Speaking about the split, Holly Madison has said that she ended things with Hugh Hefner because he was so 'high maintenance'. And, coming from a woman who looks like she needs six hours each morning to paint herself exactly the right shade of orange transvestite, that must be really saying something.
Criss Angel Pulls A Playboy Bunny Out Of His Pants
Now we know why Holly Madison dumped Hugh Hefner - he didn't dress enough like a Poundstretcher My Chemical Romance. But you know who does? Criss Angel, the magician who'd be just like David Blaine if only David Blaine a) did magic tricks any more and b) constantly walked around in clothes that made him look like an emo weekend dad having a chronic mid-life crisis regardless of how much of a ridiculous tithole everyone thinks he is. But Criss Angel must be doing something right, because he's Holly Madison's new boyfriend. Word has it that Criss Angel ensnared Madison by performing a number of magic tricks that Hugh Hefner could never do, like running up the stairs, doing the Can-Can and getting an erection unaided. But can Criss Angel doze off in an armchair in the afternoon while doing some gentle Sudoku? No he can't - Hefner will always have that.
Now we know why Holly Madison dumped Hugh Hefner - he didn't dress enough like a Poundstretcher My Chemical Romance. But you know who does? Criss Angel, the magician who'd be just like David Blaine if only David Blaine a) did magic tricks any more and b) constantly walked around in clothes that made him look like an emo weekend dad having a chronic mid-life crisis regardless of how much of a ridiculous tithole everyone thinks he is. But Criss Angel must be doing something right, because he's Holly Madison's new boyfriend. Word has it that Criss Angel ensnared Madison by performing a number of magic tricks that Hugh Hefner could never do, like running up the stairs, doing the Can-Can and getting an erection unaided. But can Criss Angel doze off in an armchair in the afternoon while doing some gentle Sudoku? No he can't - Hefner will always have that.
Hugh Hefner Splits Up With Generic Blonde Booby-Model
Good news, girls - Hugh Hefner, the richest, sexiest, most prolifically sleazy frail old doddery 82-year-old man on Earth, is single again. Apparently Hugh Hefner has been dumped his number one girlfriend Holly Madison - a woman 54 years younger than him who looks like she was reared in a battery-farm for titty bimbos - and all because Hugh refused to marry her. Touchingly, Hugh Hefner seems quite sad about the split. There's no need for him to be - after all, he shouldn't forget the old saying 'there are plenty more opportunistic young women who've mutilated their bodies for the sake of beauty that are willing to fellate a very old man even though it clearly disgusts them on the off-chance that he'll write them into his will and make them rich when he dies'. Um, 'in the sea'.
Good news, girls - Hugh Hefner, the richest, sexiest, most prolifically sleazy frail old doddery 82-year-old man on Earth, is single again. Apparently Hugh Hefner has been dumped his number one girlfriend Holly Madison - a woman 54 years younger than him who looks like she was reared in a battery-farm for titty bimbos - and all because Hugh refused to marry her. Touchingly, Hugh Hefner seems quite sad about the split. There's no need for him to be - after all, he shouldn't forget the old saying 'there are plenty more opportunistic young women who've mutilated their bodies for the sake of beauty that are willing to fellate a very old man even though it clearly disgusts them on the off-chance that he'll write them into his will and make them rich when he dies'. Um, 'in the sea'.
