Articles tagged with: holidays
Madonna doesn't do Thanksgiving, possibly because someone once confused her with a turkey and tried slicing her bum open. And because of this, Madonna won't be spending this Thanksgiving with rumoured new boyfriend Alex Rodriguez. Well, in truth it's because Alex Rodriguez would rather spend Thanksgiving with his children in Florida than with the human equivalent of frozen giblets, but the bum-slicing thing just seemed funnier. But anyway, contrary to several reports, Madonna and Alex Rodriguez won't be spending Thanksgiving together. Which just goes to show, most men would prefer to spend a holiday with an ex-wife who's bitter because she was dumped for Madonna and some children whose births were almost missed because their father wanted to go and meet Madonna than actually spend it with Madonna herself. That's got to sting a bit.
This Christmas, families around the world will be united by one thing - the sound of a crack-addled hasbeen croaking out pale imitations of her best-loved hits.
Amy Winehouse? Don't be silly - we're talking about the queen of substance-deranged power-ballads here, not the scabby-faced pretender to her crack-addled throne, here. That's right, Whitney Houston is back.
Well, sort of back. Whitney Houston's comeback album - her first for six years - will be released in time for Christmas. It'd be ready sooner, but it's going to take nine months of round-the-clock labour to photoshop the album's artwork so it looks like Whitney Houston's pupils are the same size and that she's got teeth and generally looks a bit less identical to Samuel L Jackson in Jungle Fever.
