Hitler - HecklerSpray

Hitler Definitely Lived In Argentina ‘Til He Was Really Old

March 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

In an EXCLUSIVEly stolen story from an actual tabloid newspaper, it appears everything you knew about Hitler was wrong. Apart from the hating Jews bit. You’ve invariably got that bit absolutely spot-on.

We’re talking about the other thing. The thing about him getting killed during that whole World War II thing.

It would appear that Hitler ran off to Argentina and lived a merry life right into his old age, which means that he’s probably met Maradona and seen Evita. Can you guess which newspaper may have written this story?

John Galliano Is Officially A Filthy Moustachioed Jew Hater

September 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ridiculously dressed designer, John Galliano, has been found guilty of racist and anti-Semitic behaviour by a Paris court today, which means you can’t go around shouting your mouth off about Jews. Okay?

Johnny G was facing charges of “casting public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race or ethnicity” by French authorities and was ordered to court today to pay a total fine of 17,500 euros.

However, he won’t be getting sexually assaulted in the prison showers.

Coco Chanel Was A Nazi Spy, Which Makes You Lot Anti Semitic

August 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

What’s the fashion world’s problem with Jews? Seriously. John Galliano recently went nutso about our Jewish cousins, and now, people are accusing the ghost of Coco Chanel of being a massive Jew hater.

See, there’s this book out which points at the fashion legend while mouthing the words “Nazi sympathiser”.

In fact, it’s suggested that she wasn’t so much sympathetic, but actually a proper Nazi, collaborating with them during World War II as a spy code-named “Westminster.” So that means, by our reckoning, that if you have Chanel anything, you may as well go and defecate in a Synagogue during Shabbat.

Megan Fox Might Be Upset That She Was Caught Cheating. Maybe.

July 13th, 2011 By Amy Grindhouse

We’re more scared of lawyers than we are of spiders – so we’re going to tread carefully, all the while shrieking and flapping like a bunch of hysterical women if any of us sees an actual spider. It’s being reported that the wandering lady garden of Megan Fox bad touched Shia LaBeouf for a whole six months while they were filming together. And, it’s further alleged it’s ruining Megan’s marriage.

Backing up a little, for clarity and because someone needs to hoover under our feet, their tryst first began on the set of Alien Robots Smash Things.

It would appear, at the behest of director Michael Bay, the 20-somethings pretended to fancy each other and that turned into sleeping together.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley And Prince Harry Are Getting Married After Jason Statham Gets Murdered

July 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Y’know Rosie Huntington-Whiteley? Of course you don’t… unless you’re 13 years old and have your member in your hand. For the grown-ups among you, she’s the new ‘piece’ in the woeful Transformers film. She’s the woman who has stepped into Megan Fox’s thong.

Looking at her, you can see she’s all neck and lips, very much the human form of Oblina from Aaah! Real Monsters. This, naturally, means that she’s a woman lusted after by the entire world (who doesn’t like a woman who is essentially a thin cylinder with a haircut?) and can have her pick of the eligible bachelors.

So who has she got her heart set on? Some dashing Hollywood dunderhead? Some corned-beef brained NFL player with arms wider than Ed Milliband’s vocabulary? NOPE. She’s wanting some of that Blue Blood in her system as she eyes up Prince Harry for nefarious night-time activities.

Shia LeBeouf And Megan Fox Have Swapped Bodily Fluids While She Was With Her Now Husband

June 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Are you a teenager? Chances are you fancy Megan Fox then. She’s effectively an alt.fancy piece as designed on a computer game by young men yet to touch the flesh of another woman, aside from the girls they kinda fancy who they keep punching in the schoolyard.

No right minded adult would lust over Fox because she possesses all the sexual allure of a mop.

Still, that didn’t stop Shia LaBeouf who has admitted that he hooked up with Megan while they were making the Transformers films (read our Transformers 3 review here). Better still, she was probably attached to her now-husband Brian Austin Green at the time.

Movie Review: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Or, We Went To Watch Transformers 3 And Things Went Kaboom!)

August 5th, 2012 By hecklerspray staff

Right lets cut to the chase, Transformers: Dark of the Moon has a crap script and the acting is, for lack of a better word, shit. Sorry Michael, but bear with us because you come off good in the end?

It's still got those bloody parents in it, it's rife with dodgy racial stereotyping, the irritating shitty robots who do nothing but make lame jokes, penis references and Patrick Dempsey. Trust us – the list goes on!

Frankly it's difficult to understand why scriptwriter Ehren Kruger is even working on Transformers still, having failed so miserably with the last film. Worst still, despite getting rid of Megan Fox, director Michael Bay has seemingly opted for yet another hottie with zero acting skills in the form of Rosie Huntington-Whitley who seems to spend more time pouting and looking dead to the world than actually contributing to the bloody film. For a director with such a skill at creating visual feasts for the eyes, he sure is ignorant when it comes to the storytelling behind a film… but this is an brilliant film, right?

Megan Fox Says ‘Hitler’ And Steven Spielberg Gets Her Fired, Which Is Hilarious For Her Career

June 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oh dear. What’s a really stupid thing for an actor to do? Well, anti-Semitic comments haven’t ever really helped anyone and slagging off incredibly influential directors is almost certainly a dumb thing to do.

And now, hilariously. Megan Fox is going to find out just what happens when you do both of the above after she compared her boss to Hitler.

It appears that Spielberg didn’t take kindly having someone mouthing off about Hitler who, y’know, oversaw the killing of quite a few Jews, probably including a number of Spielberg’s family. As such, Stevie boy saw to it that Fox lost some lucrative acting work. What with her being one of the most amazing actors we’ve ever seen, this will no doubt be a crushing blow to her CV.

Oliver Stone Tries His Hand At Being A Bit Offensive

July 27th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

If Mel Gibson has proved anything, it’s that you’re never more famous than when you’re being racially insensitive.

And don’t think that Oliver Stone hasn’t noticed. He’s been watching Mel’s rising profile with jealous eyes, waiting for an opportunity to leap in and blurt out a regrettable statement of his own. But which group could Oliver Stone target? Gibson’s already claimed blacks and Mexicans, so not them. And not Islamic fundamentalists either. He’s not mental, after all. So who does that leave? Scandinavians? Confucianists? Jews?

Ah, yes. Jews. Perfect. So, to cut a long story short, Oliver Stone has decided to use an interview to say that Jewish people didn’t really do that badly in World War II compared to the Russians. Aaaaand commence moral outrage.

WEBTHUMP! Friday 22 May 2009

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – The song that Will Ferrell nearly performed at the American Idol finale – Funnyordie

9 – You know that Octomom porno movie? Here’s the poster, and somewhat inevitable name – Bestweekever

8 – For some reason, the headline of this article made us scared to go outside – Livescience

7 – Look, it’s Hitler as a baby. No, really, it’s Hitler as a baby – Amphetamines