Do you have a birthday party coming up? Or a work bash? Maybe you just want someone to honk and wail and scare that gang of kids away from your front drive.
If so, you're in luck – apparently Pete Doherty has started hiring himself out to private functions for £100 a pop.
We know, £100 sounds like a lot of money to pay for a wazzock in a tatty hat to aimlessly strum a guitar and mumbling like an emphysema sufferer's dying gasp, but if Pete Doherty performed at your child's birthday party, it'd be an event they'd remember forever. True, they'd mainly remember it as that birthday party where the frightening dirty scarecrow man who stunk like week-old piss turned up and made everyone cry, but you can't say that's not memorable.
