Yes, Billy-Bob Thornton has made claims that Angelina Jolie may come crawling back to him at some point, once she’s done with her relationship with that Brad Pitt character. We’re not sure when that will be, mind, as she has just about to have some of those child things, with Pitt serving up half of the chromosomes in the deal.

But hey – he’s already had a crack at her, so why shouldn’t ol’ Billy-Bob be confident?

See, Thornton has a theory on Jolie’s relationship with the pretty-boy Pitt. And in fine Hollywood fashion he’s decided that it’s something we all need to know about, rather than something that should probably stay firmly locked up in his head lest it sound like the insane rantings of a jealous old man.

Talking at a press conference for his new album, Billy, Bobby, whatever he’s called said:

“She’s just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time.”

Bibbly, Bobbly – you struck so, so fucking lucky getting her in the first place, there’s no need to be a ridiculous prat about things and make such audacious claims. Maybe hecklerspray can let you off for making your thoughts public like this, but at least leave it at that. No more silly claims, no more petty side swipes. You had your chance – everybody gets one.

Oh no:

“Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though.”

So not only is Bad Santa himself claiming that Angelina Jolie is going through a phase by having a long-term relationship with the soon-to-be father of her children, he’s also saying that if (or when, in Thornton’s mind) the two split up he might not even take her back.

The man must be on some good shit if his mind-drum plays along to that beat.

We do have some suggestions for Bibble Bobble though, which may help him in his quest to get Jolie back, or turn her down, or whatever he wants to do, if she does break up with Bradley and come crawling back to him:

1) If he still has the vial of her blood lying around, Thornton could always dabble in a bit of Angelina-cloning. This would give him an identical copy of Jolie, with the added bonus of her being a clean slate, ready for him to tell: “you fancy older, weird-looking blokes called Billy-Bob. And not attractive A-list movie stars.”

2) Thornton could put himself up for adoption, in the hope that Jolie’s soon-to-be born children haven’t dampened her taste for adoption pie. She unsuspectingly brings him into the Jolie/Pitt family fold, Bibbles works from there. We’re not coming up with all of the plan, just helping him on his way.

3) Billy-Bob could approach Angelina from a purely friendly perspective and become something of a confidant. During the process of heart-to-heart, deep discussions, Thornton could then convince Jolie she should return to her days of lesbianism (or at least bisexuality). Then it’s a simple case of a sex-change and Bob’s your… lover?

4) Get Angelina so smacked off her tits she starts talking utter shite, passes out and when she wakes up she’s in the middle of nowhere, alone with Billob. Granted, this is technically kidnapping, but it’s no more insane than claiming you wouldn’t take Angeline Jolie up on the offer of getting back together with her.

We’ve run out of suggestions now. But just remember who’s trying to help you, Billy-Bob Thornton. We’re your friends.

No, Jamie Lynn Spears hasn't given birth, instead she's passed her high school equivalency GED exam. So, freed up from the stigma attached to being a pregnant schoolgirl, Jamie Lynn Spears can now stretch out her horizons and become the plain old pregnant non-schoolgirl teenage strumpet with a bleak regret-filled future that she's always longed to be.

Congratulations Jamie Lynn. Live the dream.

Everything's going just dandy for the Spears clan at the moment, wouldn't you say? First Britney Spears gets to see her kids again and now it's revealed that Jamie Lynne Spears has passed her GED exam – if Lynne Spears somehow manages to go back in time and make sure that she never got pregnant with either of her disappointing children to begin with then the family will have its hat-trick. 

But, anyway, this is about Jamie-Lynn Spears. Despite having an unborn baby growing inside her that – if our grasp of pregnancy is right – does nothing but scream foul-mouthed orders at her and chews on her spinal cord whenever she disobeys them, Jamie Lynn Spears has passed her GED exam, as People reports:

The Zoey 101 star passed her high school equivalency exam about a month ago – scoring particularly well on reading comprehension – and is looking to take the ACT college entrance test, the friend says. "She's already got her diploma," according to the friend. "She wants to take her ACT. She's not wasting any time. People don't know her. When she gets something in her head, she'll make it happen. Everybody is so supportive of her."

Interesting how this is basically a news story that marvels at the fact that Jamie Lynn Spears can read, isn't it. Anyway, now that high school is out of the way, Jamie Lynn Spears is able to go ahead and try for college – but not until she's decided on a course to enrol on. Will she take the degree in Pretending That You Wanted The Baby All Along Even Though You Secretly Resent It For Stealing Away Your Youth Forever, or will it be something more like Media Studies? Who knows!

The important thing is that Jamie Lynn Spears soaks up this moment because, as someone educated to high school level, Jamie Lynn has now become the intellectual of the Spears family. And now she can look forward to being the go-to gal whenever any of her relatives have a difficult question they can't answer, like 'What's 14 multiplied by four?' and 'Me leg ouch. Why me leg ouch?'

Read more:

Jamie Lynn Spears Passes Her GED Exam – People