Articles tagged with: heroes
A new E4 series called Misfits you say? About a group of young delinquents doing community service? We've not been this put off a new TV series since the Bad Girls pilot. In fact, the likelihood of a good series coming from E4 is akin to that of finding a hen's tooth, or Tess Daly's soul. Imagine the disquiet and shock which consumed us when we saw the first episode of this teen-insert genre here and discovered it's actually quite good. Maybe Tess Daly has a soul after all.*
Oh readers, we can't tell how long we've waited for this day - the day that Hayden Panettiere became a genuine stroppy mare. We knew she had it in her, sure. But now it's here and, lord, it is beautiful. How much of a stroppy mare is Hayden Panettiere? Only stroppy enough to try and get Milo Ventimiglia sacked from Heroes because he split up with her last month, that's how much. Or maybe Hayden Panettiere has got Milo Ventimiglia sacked from Heroes. Or maybe Hayden Panettiere was sacked from Heroes instead. Nobody watches Heroes any more, so nobody really knows.
Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia were truly the Romeo and Juliet of actors with impossible-to-spell surnames. That's right - were. Fans of freaky relationships between teenagers and much, much older - almost inappropriately older - full-grown adult men should probably sit down for this. Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes have just split up. Apparently Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia have split up because they're 'in different places'. But at least now Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia can move onto people nearer their own ages - so Madonna's adopted African son and the dusty old knight from the end of Indiana Jones 3, then.
Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears. And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again. There's no word on who'll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it'll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it's unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who's a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?
Some movie action heroes really don't cut the mustard. They may be able to talk the talk. But when it comes to walking the walk, they are a drunken, one-legged tramp with a bad limp, short arms and an itchy arse.
They are all mouth and no trousers. Or as our sweet old grandma used to say, "they are all fart and no shit." Anyway, you get the idea. They're the action heroes in film that you know in the real world would not stand up to much. In fact, without the CGI and the body double they are nothing.
Now, movies are all about pretend. We understand that. But there are limits, right? There is a point when your imagination stands up and says 'wait a minute'. And here at hecklerspray we feel it is our duty to expose such charlatans. For the good of mankind, of course. Oh, and if any of the following want to question it, we will be waiting outside. Bring it on!
Behold, the Not-So-Magnificent Seven...
Despite what happens onscreen, the real super-powers that Heroes stars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia have are grossly unpronounceable surnames and an almost epic level of adorability.
And, like the old saying goes, adorability loves adorability. That's why Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia are totally doing it with each other. That's not exactly news - a relationship between the two of them has been rumoured for months - but with the news that Milo has met Hayden's grandparents, it looks like things have just become official. Sweet, no? So sweet that we're almost able to overlook the fact that Milo Ventimiglia is 30 years and Hayden Panettiere is just 18 and that's a little tiny bit creepy.
Almost.
December 28, and an admission. The reason why we aren't here throwing celebrity news at you like bananas in a monkey factory is because the whole hecklerspray family has gone camping.
It isn't going well. Laidlow, hammered on alcopops, has thrown up in Lindseth's sleeping bag and made him cry. Laverty tripped over the guy rope and dropped all our eggs on a cowpat. C J Davies keeps walking into a tree head-first again and again, convinced he'll be able to move it with the power of his mind and nobody has seen Annette since she went off to film that witch's hut. Only Stuart Heritage has managed to rise above this pathetic scene. Really, he's like some sort of hero or something.
Anyway, want to know what our favourite TV shows of the year were? Good, they're all here...
