Trouble is that this anodyne, office-based existence that we live in doesn’t give us much chance to be a hero. Once upon a time, when mankind roamed the jungles, we could have thrown ourselves into the lion’s path as it attacked our hunting companion from the rear, and our little tribal village would have put on a hell of a feast in our name.

Nowadays the most heroic thing most people do is offer someone a lift home after work. ‘You’re a life-saver!’ they tritely say, as they exit the car door, not even buying you a burger for the effort. And so in these dull, un-heroic times we turn to video games in a desperate attempt to fill the void.

In Negotiator, you play the part of a negotiator, who negotiates with a man (with a life probably quite similar to yours) who is standing on the edge of a roof-top, ready to end it all. Will you say the right thing and save his life, or will you be the final push? To be honest, either outcome is quite satisfying.

Play Negotiator

It’s a big week for everyone. With a record 43 countries hoping to make the Eurovision Song Contest final, there’ll be two semi-finals held this week, culminating in the main event on Saturday. 43 countries, several of which are former Soviet territories. Oh, global superpower communist states, how we miss you.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Sweden, with help from Paddy Power…

Sweden (pop. 9,006,405; a Nordic country in Scandinavia) Charlotte Perrelli, Hero

Woop woop! Former Eurovision Song Contest winner alert! Having won Eurovision nine years ago with that song (you know the one. You do. OK, you probably don’t) Charlotte Perrelli is back for a second bite of the cherry with Hero, a heart-rending blockbuster of a ballad so profound that it makes even stone-hearted grown men break down in a tearful flurry of self-realisation. “Everything has a beginning/ Everything comes to an end/ Take it or leave it you’d better believe it/ Be my love or be my friend” it goes. Shame, then, that Hero is so drag queen awful that it makes us want to slam heavy objects into our face until we pass out or die. Still, if this was the Eurovision Singers Who Appear To Have Been Cross-Bred With A Cat Contest, at least we’re confident that Charlotte would walk it. Current Eurovision betting odds – 12/1

Tomorrow – Switzerland! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.