Stuart Heritage Is A Work-Shy Freeloader, So Say Hello To Paul Sorrenti, Ian Dransfield and Shawn Lindseth Hello. I am Paul Sorrenti. How do you do? This is weird. I’m not sure I’m very comfortable with writing in a first-person narrative anymore. You see, writing for hecklerspray this past six or seven months has made me lose all sense of individuality. The concept of ‘I’ is totally alien to me now. I can barely remember the man I used to be. Once I had passed the strict audition process I was led into a dark room by one of Lord Heritage’s henchman who sat me down and cuffed me to a chair. Then, after pinning my eyelids back, he turned a projector on.

Glam Awards: Vote The Hell For Us

You know us, total award-whores one and all.

Not only is hecklerspray the universal meeting place for abusive gonk-eyed, all-capital Christina Aguilera fanatics, but we're also winners of Metro's best British entertainment blog award and the 45th most powerful blog in the world. We don't know if we mentioned that before. 45th.

But that's not enough, oh no. Because

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Hecklerspray: The 45th Most Powerful Blog In All The World

In the past, when we've hurled bowling balls at round-faced American preachers it's been just for fun - but when we do it now it'll be because we've been corrupted by power, There Will Be Blood-style.

Why? Because according to a list in today's Observer, hecklerspray is the 45th most powerful blog in the world. Yes,

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The Spraylist 2007: Wishes For 2008

Now we're at the bum-end of 2007, it's time to reflect on the year gone by.

It's a year that's seen hecklerspray writers thrown out of magazine-based writing competitions for cheating, hecklerspray writers painted bright orange as a gruesome initiation to other magazines, hecklerspray writers going on serious news programmes to discuss the real threat of wanking Kenyan monkeys and hecklerspray writers waggling huge black dildos around while being scathing about Second Life for digital TV channels. And we're even told that some things happened over the course of 2007 that didn't directly involve people who work for hecklerspray, although we are yet to see proof of this.

But what about next year? What do our senior writers personally want from that? Let's take a look...

Merry Christmas And Stuff

That's us for this year, then - we're off to spend a week celebrating Christmas by not staring at two-dimensional flickering screen positioned nine inches away from our noses for 13 hours a day.

Almost - you'll still be able to read our now-traditional Christmas Best-Of lists between Boxing Day and New Year's Eve. But look how good 2007 has

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