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10 Things Americans SHOULD Be Thankful For

November 29th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the American Thanksgiving was this past week and everyone celebrated by sharing memes that had Kim Kardashian’s greased up ass in place of a turkey and then killing each other for cheap TV’s the next day for Black Friday. I’m Canadian, so my Thanksgiving was over a month ago, so I’ve given all my thanks and had my turkey and whatever.

Though sometimes the world can be a really shitty place and it seems like there isn’t a whole lot to be thankful for, I’d like to remind you that the world is still full of gems. So if you, my American friend, were left feeling less than thankful on Thanksgiving this year, here are 10 things that might make you feel a little more #blessed

HecklerPlay: Musicians, Famous For The Wrong Reasons

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

On this week in 2000, Yusuf Islam (previously known as Cat Stevens) joined the campaign to fight the government?s repeal of Section 28.?Section 28 was the ban on homosexuality being ?promoted? in schools. By ?promoted?, what it really meant was ?being told that it existed?.

Those that sought to keep Section 28 thought that it was an essential piece of legislation that was all that stood between the bottoms of our innocent schoolchildren and a queue of 2000 predatory gays with unquenchable erections, such is the uniquely paranoid perspective of the bigoted mind.

Luckily the Section 28 thing has been forgotten and despite his high-profile religious conversion he is still mainly famous for writing some pretty ditties. Other tunesmiths have not been so lucky though and have become better known for other, similarly embarrassing behaviour.*

HecklerPlay: Top 10 Songs About Masturbation

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Musicians think about sex a lot.?They must do, it's almost the only thing they write about. Popstars live to defile their young screaming fans. Rockers know they've made it when there are aspiring muses knocking on the dressing room door.

Hip-hop has a frankly terrifying capacity for the horn.

Frankly it's a miracle they get any work done at all with heads overflowing with images of baps, flaps and todgers. In fact such is the unstoppable high-pressure filth fawcet in their addled brains that doing it with others doesn't fill their schedules and sometimes they combine their libidinous obsessions with their other favourite pastime- loving themselves.

HecklerPlay: Our Favourite Songs About Drugs

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

On Monday, in an interview with Guardian Music, The Shamen?s Mr C revealed that their 1992 hit single Ebeneezer Goode was about ecstasy. Who would have thought it?

To celebrate this revelation, we were going to have a list of our favourite songs that seem to be about one thing, but are actually about another. We soon realised that almost all pop music is actually about sex whilst pretending to be about ding-a-lings, lollipops, divine hammers, relaxing, and the banging of gongs.

So we thought it would be easier to list our favourite songs about drugs.

Top 10 Instructional Training Raps

August 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Bless the dung-minded simpletons who look at hip hop and think, “Ah! That looks easy! Its just talking over a hip hop beat! What idiot couldn’t do that? I talk all the time! I was pretty good at thinking of words that rhyme too!”

Some of these people often take this very silly notion and apply it to learning. “Kids love rap! I need them to learn! Rapping? Learning? INSTRUCTIONAL RAP! It’s a schooling miracle!”

And so, throughout the 80s (and regrettably beyond), there has been a spate of instructional rap videos, designed to be ‘educational’ and ‘fun’, usually falling way short of both marks. Sadly for them, they didn’t realise that rapping is one of the most insanely difficult things to do. Mercifully for this post, this didn’t stop them. So welcome to a world of rap-audits, fried chicken flexidiscs and martial arts rhymes (and not in a Wu Tang way).

Music Review: The Junipers ‘Paint The Ground’

August 6th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

The greatest band in the whole wide world have got a new album. That’s right, supreme psychedelicists, The Junipers, are following up their ‘Cut Your Key’ LP with the wonderful, enchanting, downright POSITIVE longplayer, ‘Paint The Ground’.

Get that? A totally non-cynical, upbeat LP! How deeply unfashionable to be cheerful in the face of such unrelenting worldwide gloom.

The question is, have The Junipers pulled it off? Have they managed to top their near-perfect debut album?

HecklerPlay – Top 10 Favourite Opening Lyrics

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Making a good first impression is important. In books it sets the tone, in social surroundings it allows busy idiots the chance to judge us, and in job interviews it provides a useful opportunity to explain that whilst, yes, you are technically on the sex offenders? register it was all a terrible mix-up and could have happened to anyone.

In music, the first line is underrated. We barely even notice them unless they're clunky or funny.

The best first lines can, like the opening of Kafka?s Metamorphosis, throw you right into the action or they can, like A Tale of Two Cities, set a vivid scene. They can provide an aggressive statement of intent or they can be just plain funny.

HecklerPlay: The Case Against… Post Dubstep

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

In the late eighties, the UK was home to the most exciting music culture movement since punk as a mutation of house music,? born in Chicago but exported to the warehouses and fields of Britain, re-wrote the relationship between artist and audience.

With Acid House, the crowd and the DJs were a partnership, both there to make equal contribution to the euphoria of the rave. As BPMs got faster in the nineties acid house begat rave which in turn begat jungle.

With the help of pirate radio, jungle (which was starting to be known by the less exciting but seemingly more popular name of ?drum and bass?) became a dominant underground force. The importance of the crowd wasn?t the only way in which dance music challenged a comfortable and complacent music industry. The music may have been disparagingly called ?faceless? but rock?s cult of personality was a tired hangover from its heyday and certainly nothing to aspire to for a generation who had found a genuine alternative.

HecklerPlay: In Praise Of The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

In honour of the birthday of Legs Larry Smith, the man who manned the drumstool in the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, it only seems right that we should write about how brilliant Britain’s funniest band are.

Comedy and music? Does it make something awful run icily through your veins? Worry not, because the Bonzos were more than simple jesters.

Emerging in the stupid ’60s, the Bonzos were hip enough to ‘get it’ and smart enough to lampoon it, taking influence from the big groups of the time as well as tapping into the world’s penchant for the absurd and the archaic. Step forward, Britain’s finest Victorian Idiots Psychedelicists.

Azealia Banks Samples Aaliyah On Pretty Boring New Song (Listen Here!)

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Azealia Banks is attractive, ballsy and is responsible for some outrageously fun tunes. 212 was a thrilling slice of pop which had one of the filthiest refrains in memory. And now, a new track is online (which you can hear below) which samples Aaliyah!

And so, talented newbie samples RnB legend? What could possibly go wrong?

Well, once you’ve heard it, you might be tempted to think ‘everything’. See, Azealia Banks has gone and made something really very boring indeed. Is she a case of all hype and no knickers? We should lower our hopes.