Articles tagged with: heathrow
Thousands Of Non-Prostitute Masseuses Vie For Ewan McGregor’s Head
Whenever hecklerspray finds itself watching a film starring Ewan McGregor, we usually end up staring at his scalp. It's a clean scalp. it's a healthy scalp, and we just really want to touch it. Not with our hands, of course - with a plank. We think it'd do good for both him, and his career. It's a common thought, you know. People want to touch his head all the time. That's why a bunch of airport-masseuses recently had a throw down. Ewan walked in for a head massage and they all wanted to give it to him. It's unknown how things got settled, but we bet the actor ended up with mayonnaise saturating his hair, cucumber-slices prying his eyes open, and free-range dung beetles nesting in all his body holes. Our mother told us about the goings-on in those horrible places. They're all dens of sin.
Whenever hecklerspray finds itself watching a film starring Ewan McGregor, we usually end up staring at his scalp. It's a clean scalp. it's a healthy scalp, and we just really want to touch it. Not with our hands, of course - with a plank. We think it'd do good for both him, and his career. It's a common thought, you know. People want to touch his head all the time. That's why a bunch of airport-masseuses recently had a throw down. Ewan walked in for a head massage and they all wanted to give it to him. It's unknown how things got settled, but we bet the actor ended up with mayonnaise saturating his hair, cucumber-slices prying his eyes open, and free-range dung beetles nesting in all his body holes. Our mother told us about the goings-on in those horrible places. They're all dens of sin.
Naomi Campbell Arrested For Giant Airport Strop-Attack
The Heathrow Terminal 5 situation is worse than we thought - it's managed to make Naomi Campbell angry, and nothing makes Naomi Campbell angry.
The Heathrow Terminal 5 situation is worse than we thought - it's managed to make Naomi Campbell angry, and nothing makes Naomi Campbell angry. Wait, sorry, that's a typo. That last bit should have read 'everything makes Naomi Campbell angry. Everything. Even buttercups and pictures of big-eyed bunny rabbits. Everything.' Sorry.
So Naomi Campbell got angry at Heathrow airport. How angry? Arrested for attacking a policeman angry. That's good anger but not great anger, Naomi, and we're a little bit disappointed. Next time try kicking a wing off or hiding a bomb in your shoe or something.
