Mary Portas is widely renowned for having the poise and gait of a maimed Tyrannosaurus Rex and the retail miracle-worker has told Heat! magazine that she wants the opportunity to inject some sex appeal into David Cameron’s cabinet.
Without hecklerspray trying to force any political viewpoints down the throats of our readers, Tories are arseholes. That’s the traditional order of their political party. In order to make it, you either have to be a wretched, money-sucking scum-bucket or a super-intelligent shade of beige (see John Major) and there’s no place for any style, panache or even a hint of shagability.
That doesn’t mean that certain chinless morons who believe in fox hunting and using Britain’s poor as an underlay for their hall carpet wouldn’t strap one on and give big Dave Cameron a damned good rogering but on the whole, the British public isn’t supposed to want to have any kind of intercourse with their politicians.