Thousands of Harry Potter fans with nothing better to do decided to stand in a queue all night while the heavens opened on them, making them wetter than Ron Weasley’s demeanour. Trafalgar Square is now overrun with Potterists with the local council considering exterminating them like rats as they breed in the streets, birthing runts diseased with magic.
Of course, these poor souls stood beneath the rainclouds ahead of the world premiere of the final instalment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (pt 2), posing the question – why not wait a couple of weeks and watch it online where you won’t get pneumonia from sleeping like tramps in the road?
Naturally, they’ll be hanging around to see the cast, which includes recovering alcoholic Daniel Radcliffe and Emma ‘Are We Still Calling It A New Haircut?’ Watson. It’ll be thrilling for the stars to meet their fans, who will, by the time it gets to this evening, smell so bad that even a botfly would vomit in their presence, refusing to lay their eggs in the foetid skin of the Potterites.
Read More >>>
Daniel Radcliffe seems like a nice chap doesn’t he? That’s despite that fact he got naked once and showed everyone his ghastly, sinewy, gym-honed body which made him look like a pale He-Man figure (didn’t see it? Click here at your peril).
How does someone get the confidence to derobe before the public’s eyes? Easy. Get absolutely hammered ’til your liver starts to hurt.
See, what you didn’t know about the Harry Potter star is that he had a drink-problem. These days, he’s tee-total. The odd thing about that is, is that he’s no more or less interesting than he was when he was hitting the sauce with an impressive regularity.
Read More >>>
Howdy pardners! Emma ‘YeeHaw’ Watson is in the good ol’ U S of A to work on her American doodle dandy accent for a role in ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’, which is one of those varmint adaptation of the hella controversial book doobry about teenage life and sexuality.
Whyayeoudda!
As you critters can see, we Limeys are rootin’ and tootin’ when it comes to doing the American accent! We can all do the New Yoik accent too. We even have the punchline, but not the joke, for a New Yoik accent joke about dolphins. The punchline is ‘they were suffering from crossed porpoises’. And so, like, Emma Watson will like, toootally be great at doing, like, an American accent, like. She ain’t so sure.
Read More >>>
In a shocking revelation this week, pop entity Cheryl Cole laid down the gauntlet to that lassie from Harry Potter that it’s now all right to fancy, Emma Watson. Harry Potter girl has been accused by former Girls Aloud star and alleged racist Cheryl of stealing her Style Crown, given to her by Glamour Magazine for being the world’s best dressed woman
The Harry Potter star has topped Glamour’s 9th Annual Best Dressed Woman List, beating renowned malaria sufferer Cole and Twilight actress Kristen… Kristen… uhh… yeah, that lassie out of Twilight to the top spot.
The other female X Factor judge Dannii Minogue also makes the most pointless top 10 list since a hecklerspray advertorial along with Rihanna and some bimbo from Glee.
Read More >>>
Oi! People who like Harry Potter! It’s the trailer for the thing you’ve all been waiting for! That’s right kiddiekins (and adultkins as well), the final instalment from Hogwarts is upon us with Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 looking rather explodey.
In the trailer, which you can see over the jump, you’ll see Harry squaring up to Lord Voldemort who still hasn’t found his nose. No matter though, because what the baddies lack in noses, they make up for with gigantic fire-breathing monsters.
And the flick seems to be keen to go out with a bang, which is remarkable seeing as the early books/films were so twee. This is going to give some kids nightmares. And nightmares are great.
Read More >>>
Hardened critics love having a pop at Harry Potter. They prance around, nose in the air, clutching their copy of whatever obscure flawed masterpiece is in vogue at the time, claiming the Potter films to be quite rubbish – a two-star at best.
Well, Potter fans don’t give a stuff about them. And so they shouldn’t. No one expects these films to be artistic triumphs. They are entertainment.
We pick up where the last film left off. Dumbledore is dead, Voldemort has retaken control and Harry and his pals are forced on the run. Knowing that the key to Voldemort’s defeat is the destruction of his horcruxes (bits of his soul he left in various objects in order to become near-immortal) the trio head off on a mission to track them down. There’s no cosy Hogwarts, no cutesy school classes or Quidditch games. Potter has grown up. Read More >>>
The Harry Potter franchise is about to come to a close. Does that make you sad? Don’t worry! In a couple of years, when certain people start craving attention again, someone will make a prequel or something. If its good enough for Star Wars and Alien, it is certainly good enough for Harry Potter & Co.
Anyway, there’s some new, high-octane clips for you to get giddy over which see a fair amount of action, which will no doubt please your Potterites.
And if you click over the jump, they’re just sat there, waiting for you to press play and have a little dribble over yourself. Read More >>>
Do you like Harry Potter? You’re probably awaiting some kind of cutting aside now, where you’re chided for being a big baby for liking a children’s film. You are? Sorry.
That’s not going to happen here because, basically, every half decent joke about Harry Potter has already been told, leaving only the laziest observations left over for even lazier joke tellers to fight over.
Instead, have it straight. Over the jump is a video you can watch of the new cinematic trailer for the upcoming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie.
Read More >>>
