Goggle-eyed prancing no-mark and unofficial John Bishop looky-likey Mark ‘Bez’ Berry is currently ‘on the lam’ from ‘the heat’ as he is doubtlessly describing it to whatever two-bit nobody whose floor he is currently kipping on.
A source at Greater Manchester Police has stated that “We will arrest him when we find him. Attempts are being made to track him down. We may need to get another police force involved” according to The Sun.
Crikey. ‘Another police force’? This is like Raoul Moat all over again. In the name of God what has he done to justify this enormous mobilisation of several police forces?
Oh. Sent some texts. And made some phone calls. As it turns out.
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There was a brief period in pop-music history where everyone seemed to want to come from Manchester. With bands like The Stone Roses, New Order and the Happy Mondays (come on now, no-one ever liked James that much) all making waves across the country, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Manchester was alive with bright, young songwriting talent.
However, one of the defining songs of the baggy/Madchester period was actually a cover version of an old hippie glamrock track by a bloke called John Kongos.
Who? Exactly. But you can bet that he enjoyed the surge in royalties when the Happy Mondays covered his track, ‘He’s Gonna Step On You Again’, and retitled it a simpler ‘Step On’. Read More >>>
The Happy Mondays are a bunch of scallies. Tony Wilson loved them for exactly that reason. Fans were the same. Your average Happy Mondays fan looked to the stage and saw a version of themselves there as opposed to some preening art-school div. However, when you follow scallies, trouble is never far away.
As such, the Freaky Dancer who once tried to convince the world that Julia Roberts tried to get off with him once, is looking at time in the jailhouse as he’s been found guilty of trying to strangle his ex-fiancée.
Oh dear. Read More >>>
A word to our younger readers – you’re probably not going to get too rich from being a boggle-eyed dancer for a touring nostalgia band.
That’s smart advice, but it’s a bit too late for Bez from Happy Mondays. Bez has just been declared bankrupt, you see. For the second time in four years.
This bankruptcy will be worse for Bez than the first time though – he memorably managed to claw his way out of debt last time by winning Celebrity Big Brother. But there aren’t really any reality TV shows for Bez to bail himself out with this time. True, there’s that Oliver Twist talent contest, but there’s only room for one odd-looking, boggly-eyed weirdo there, and Andrew Lloyd Webber‘s got that all sewn up.
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Goggle-eyed prancing no-mark and unofficial John Bishop looky-likey Mark ‘Bez’ Berry is currently ‘on the lam’ from ‘the heat’ as he is doubtlessly describing it to whatever two-bit nobody whose floor he is currently kipping on.
