Hey kids, are you excited about the Hannah Montana movie? You are? Well you’re doing better than Miley Cyrus, then.
Because Miley Cyrus, um, isn’t. Even though Hannah Montana: The Movie comes out in less than a fortnight, Miley Cyrus is already so bored of the whole thing that she’s ruled out the possibility of making any sequels to it.
You know what this means – no Hannah Montana 2. And no Hannah Montana 3: Hannah’s Big City Vacation. And no Hannah Montana 4: Aquatic Adventuresplash. And no Hannah Montana 5: Requiem For A Tween. Miley Cyrus, you can really be an awful cow sometimes.
Ready for the first Hannah Montana movie trailer? Good, because Miley Cyrus doesn’t seem to be.
You see, it’s obvious that Miley Cyrus really, really doesn’t want you to go and see the Hannah Montana movie when it’s released in April. That’s why she’s gone out of way to make the whole thing seem as grossly appalling as possible.
Look, there’s Miley Cyrus introducing the movie with the voice of a chainsmoking miniature troll who’s been possessed by the devil! Look, Miley Cyrus can’t stop pulling a genuinely disturbing look of self-hatred every time she says her own name!
What? There’s still a part of you that wants to go and see the Hannah Montana movie? Wait – Miley Cyrus isn’t done yet! Look, here’s Miley robotically referring to the Hannah Montana movie as “her first big-screen adventure” – which is essentially a slightly shorter way of saying “her integral second-quarter generic mass-marketed media, stationery or sweatshop-produced fashion product.” Here’s an insufferable berk on a horse! Here’s an actual verbal promise of an appearance by Rascal Flatts! Boy oh boy, this Hannah Montana movie is going to be awesome!
Hey kids, are you excited about the Hannah Montana movie? You are? Well you’re doing better than Miley Cyrus, then.
