Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
While I’m sure you’re all familiar with ageless babe/eternal hot mess/babbling lunatic Halle Berry, you younger folk might not be familiar with former wrestling superstar, Ric Flair a.k.a. the gold mess featured above.
Ric was a somewhat big deal in the wrestling world back in the 90s, but nowadays no one other than hardcore wrestling fans know or give a fuck who he is, but I guess he wants to change that, because he recently did a radio interview where he claimed to have banged Halle Berry.
Halle Berry is the hottest ever black actress in Hollywood. Period. And her nude movie scenes are the stuff of legends. Raise your hands if you still remember that scene in Swordfish where she drops her book and reveals her boobs. We wore out our laserdiscs (yes, way back then) just playing it back and forth. Ah… good times.
Ms Berry has been hot since forever and she’s probably the only woman I find attractive with short hair. Maybe her and Winona Ryder in the 90s. Halle Berry’s sex appeal is off the charts tho. And you’ll never get tired of seeing her naked. She’s slim and her boobs are perfectly sized.
Usually when one hears “gold digger” or “spousal support” they immediately envision a woman living the glorious life, paying for their shopping sprees with their more successful man’s Black AmEx.? Gabriel Aubry is proving all you bitches wrong, and showing you how a real man gets that money.
But unfortunately for him, ex Halle Berry is sick of shelling out the cash for Aubry to sit at home looking at himself all day, and has gone to court to reduce her child support payments (aka the Aubry Gravy Train Dough).? And Aubry is fighting back, claiming it’s Berry’s man’s fault that he can’t Zoolander anymore.
The other day, my cousin, Krystal, said to me “Remember when Halle Berry killed that guy?” And I was like “Oh shit! Yeah man, I do!” Then I got to thinking about all the celebs that have gotten into some real shit show scandals, yet somehow, no one remembers it anymore.
There are people like Charlie Sheen and Paris Hilton, who are super known for their scandals, but then there are people like Halle, who have actually had some pretty big scandals, yet no one remembers them. Here are 10 major celebrity scandals you probably don’t remember.
Halle Berry’s ex, Gabriel Aubry, just hit the baby daddy jackpot.? He will be getting a shit ton of money for the next 13 or so years, and doesn’t even have their daughter all the time.? Less successful gold digging men of Hollywood, take note.
Now it kind of makes more sense why Halle Berry has gone from shattering glass ceilings and winning Oscars, to television miniseries.? Girl needs to make that money so she can write some big ass checks for the next decade. ?Granted, it also might have to do with the fact that rumor has it she’s pretty bat shit crazy too.
Every morning and evening, I go through a lengthy process of cleansing, toning, and moisturizing my face to avoid our society’s biggest enemy: aging. I don’t spend much money on make up, but I spend a fuck ton on skin care, and every time my 27-year-old ass gets asked for an ID at the liquor store (in Canada the drinking age is 19 making it an even bigger compliment) I am legit happy for the rest of the day that my investments have paid off.
However, not everyone has to live like this. Some people simply stop aging. In fact, in the land of celebrities, there are actually many big names who stopped aging once they hit 20. You could say plastic surgery and all that shit, but, let’s be real, plastic surgery couldn’t pull this kind of shit. So let’s be honest with ourselves: the following 10 celebrities are obviously wizards.
Two famous couples got married over the weekend: Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez, and Jimmy Kimmel and?Molly McNearney. Both were undoubtedly wonderful events, romantic, moving,?blah blah blah …?but based on available reports, one sounds?a hell of a lot?more fun than the other. Let’s compare.
First,?Halle’s pregnant. That means no champagne, but lots of swollen everything. Not ideal for a party. First point goes to Team Jimmy/Molly.
Halle Berry is possibly one of, if not the most beautiful woman on the planet. She managed to be named Esquire magazine?s ?Sexiest Woman Alive? even at age 42 and after just having had a child. If that's not timeless beauty, I don't know what is.
Not only that, she also is one of the most talented women in Hollywood. She has an Emmy, Golden Globe, SAG, NAACP Image Award, and was the first and only woman of African American descent to win an Academy Award for Best Actress.
Yet, somehow, despite all of this, she can't seem to keep a man. Neither marriage papers nor a child can prevent the men in her life from running the hell away. But why?
This Thanksgiving, actress Halle Berry was very thankful for her badass fiance, Olivier Martinez, particularly after he kicked the sissy ass of her former boyfriend and baby-daddy, Gabriel Aubry.
Unfortunately, the fact that this drama involves a child?transforms a situation that would otherwise be pretty awesome, into something?ugly. Ideally, the kid could be swapped out for?Bruce Willis?or at least a bitchy teenager, and then we would be in business.
It’s always outrageously funny when two celebrities fall out with each other and there’s a child suffering in the middle of it all. It adds that vital spice to proceedings right? It heightens the emotion and everyone goes nutso! So, to Halle Berry.
Halle and?Gabriel Aubry split up and no-one cared a jot.
Then, 3-year-old Nahla got involved. Not ‘involved’ as in ‘started punching everyone’. Rather, everyone started pointing at her and Halle and Gabe started shouting words over her soft little skull. And now, the accusations are getting really tasty, almost guaranteed to damage the child for life! HURRAY!
