Dark Knight Rises or Batman 3. What are you calling it? Well, judging by the newly released trailer, you could justifiably call it Occupy Gotham. It is fair to say that Bruce Wayne is part of the 1%.
Wisely, Christopher Nolan & Co have decided to tap into the most polite civil unrest yet and, mercifully, thrown some supervillains at it because we demand explosions and people getting punched in the throat.
And, regrettably for us snarks, the film looks like it might be really great. There’s a chance we’ll still give it a bad review though, just to be contrarians.
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Catwoman has always been the sexiest of all the superhero/supervillain clan. We say that because all the women who played her in the ’60s were really hot. Not so much Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry. They were snooze-buttons in comparison.
Of course, Catwoman oozed such sex appeal that even Batman fancied her, despite the fact she kept him busy by being a nasty git.
And so, when it was announced that Anne Hathaway was chosen to play her in the forthcoming The Dark Knight Rises, everyone kinda shrugged because she seems too wholesome. Can she pull off that whole S&M thing that Catwoman has? According to the leaked picture of her in her villainous guise (below), it seems not.
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Now that everyone likes Batman again, after years of thinking he was pretty lame, we as writers must cover every tawdry titbit concerning the imminent film, The Dark Knight Rises. If its anything like the last two, it’ll probably be good, which is irritating for people like us who want to slate stuff.
It’s not all fun on the shoot though, as Anne Hathaway is finding out. Mere days after nearly sparking a stuntman out with butt of a gun, she’s had a different kind of butt-based incident.
Basically, the poor lass showed a little more of her nether regions to the crew as she split open her figure hugging Catwoman suit.
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So, Halle Berry has been accused by some of being a dirty racist for believing in the ‘one drop theory’, while her ex, Gabriel Aubrey has also been accused of being a racist because he wants everyone to say his daughter is white.
Personally, we don’t care what colour it is. We just want it to grow up into a nutter like Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan. Rich kids always end up jerks, right? Even the ones who make amazing pop records like ‘Whip My Hair’. Willow Smith – destined to be a dead-eyed narc fiend or cult leader.
Anyway, we’re talking about Halle Berry. Apparently, her and Aubrey (who sounds like a ’30s country singer) are still at loggerheads, acting like children (possibly vaguely racist children if you believe they’re that sort of thing) and… well… this is just about the most interesting thing Berry has ever done. Ever.
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Halle Berry’s custody case is one of the most boring stories to hit the headlines, ever. Much like her career actually. And so, to liven the whole thing up, Kim Kardashian’s name is being thrown around for absolutely no reason at all.
That’s how low this story has sunk.
With accusations of racisms blowing around about Halle’s ex, Gabriel Aubrey, the whole sorry scenario has got people wringing their hands and worrying about the poor, poor child involved. Waa waa. Worse still is that this child is being thought of a completely forgettable by celebrity no-mark, Kardashian. Seriously.
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Yesterday, we talked about what a gigantic spoilsport Halle Berry is. She selfishly decided to act like an adult and not air her filthy linen in public, leaving us to guess why she was worried about the safety of her daughter when with her ex-bloke, Gabriel Aubry.
Well, no thanks to Halle, but rather, a load of scurrilous rumours and hearsay, it seems we have an answer!
Yessireebob, people are pointing at Gabriel Aubrey and muttering “great big dirty racist git” under their breath.
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Halle Berry is a well fancied woman. That’s because she looks like a white man designed her, ironing out all the blackness out of her, save only her tone. And she’s really boring. She’s such a crashing bore that sometimes, we prefer conducting conversations with the dead flies on our windowsill.
And so, with a rare moment of drama in her life, we find our Halle having a fight with her ex-husband!
That’s right! Berry is throwing all that amicable split nonsense out of the window in favour of an ugly brawl and may well just start trash talking in the press! Hopefully, years of built-up resentment will come erupting from her little mouth with such venom that the sky will go pink with embarrassment.
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People have been arguing about who was the best Catwoman. Most of them have been wildly wrong. See, Batman’s love interest cum nemesis is supposed to ooze sex. Catwoman isn’t just a pretty face – she’s a huge prick tease as well.
Looking at those who have played the famous feline villain, it is a surprisingly sexless bunch.
And Anne Hathaway, who will play Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s third Batman film, is the latest to completely lack in sophisticated skankery.
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