It’s almost impossible to fathom the amount of suffering that this week’s Haitian earthquake has caused.

Tens of thousands dead. A death toll that could reach 100,000. Three million in need of emergency aid. It’s heartbreaking. But, hey, at least right-thinking televangelist Pat Robertson knows why the earthquake happened. It wasn’t because of a sudden displacement of rock along a fault 10km below Haiti like you think, though – it was because the Haitians had it coming.

No, really. Pat Robertson used a television show to explain that, once upon a time, the people of Haiti signed a pact with the devil to free them of their French oppressors, and the earthquake is just the devil getting his own back. So that’s settled. Hey, maybe we can blame the devil for Pat Robertson being such a thoughtless, mean-spirited, snake oil-selling bastard, too. It’d certainly be convenient.