Sad news- in fact, this is probably the saddest news about one of Jessica Simpson’s hairdressers that we’ve heard in over a month.

We can hardly bring ourselves to tell you this, but here goes – on Saturday night, Jessica Simpson’s hairdresser Ken Paves got caught in the middle of a paparazzi crush while out with Simpson, and ended up bleeding out of his face a little bit because he got socked with a camera.

This incident is a sign that the war between celebrities and the paparazzi has just taken a turn for the worse. Jessica Simpson’s hairdresser getting donked in the face is how it begins, but we dread to think what’ll come next. Lindsay Lohan‘s manicurist getting kicked in the shins? The little old lady who Ryan Seacrest employs to water his plants getting a nasty Chinese burn and a wedgie? Where will the madness end? WHERE?

You know what Jessica Simpson would be without her hair? A bald bloke with big tits, that’s what. That’s why wherever Jessica Simpson goes, she’s followed by Ken Paves.

Ken Paves is the man who not only taught Jessica Simpson that having hair that flicks out wildly like Farah Fawcett‘s Basset Hound operating a Van de Graaff Generator can draw attention away from her massive jaw, but also potentially knows the secret to bulletproof hair. And because of this, Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves have become firm friends.

How firm? Firm enough for Ken to take a camera in the face to protect Jessica. That’s what happened on Saturday night anyway when, following paparazzi scuffles featuring everyone from Pierce Brosnan to Kanye West, Ken Paves was left horribly injured by some photographers. The LA Times reports:

Jess’ mane man was leading his  star client out of the restaurant, when the cameramen closed in… One guy hit Ken near his eye with a part of a camera. Blood trickling down his face, Ken still managed to get Jess inside their waiting ride.

Judging by that account, the injury to Ken Paves seems like it could have been a genuine accident. After all, if you were paid to take photos of the world’s biggest stars, you’d carelessly bundle forward regardless of casualties if you saw the star of Blonde Ambition and one slightly underwhelming country album too, wouldn’t you?

On the other hand, this injury to Ken Paves might have been cruelly premeditated, and for good reason. After all, Ken Paves is responsible for the hair of several Hollywood stars, and if he suddenly got injured, they’d all start going out in public looking bedraggled. That equals better pictures – and therefore more money – for the paparazzi.

It’s true – just look at Britney Spears. The paparazzi made the most cash from Britney Spears when she looked her worst. And why did she look her worst? Because she sacked Ken Paves. And now that Ken has a tiny gash under one of his eyes, we can expect Jessica Simpson to go through a similarly horrifying transformation.

That’s right – she’s going to go from a woman who looks like a radioactive transvestite to a woman who looks like a radioactive transvestite with slightly scruffy hair. How dreadful.