Guy Ritchie - HecklerSpray

Sherlock Holmes Game Of Shadows Trailer: BOOM! CRASH! SLOW MOTION SHOTS! RUNNING! TREES! BLOOD! BANG! [Video]

October 20th, 2011 By Michael Park

Sherlock Holmes is one of the most abiding detective characters in literary history. Along with his sycophantic companion, Dr John Watson, the amateur consulting detective uses his powers of deduction to solve the most fiendishly cryptic cases in Victorian London amazing one and all with his capacity for lateral thinking and disguise as he does so.

Conan Doyle’s books have been adapted for television, radio and film on many occasions and every iteration of the classic stories brings its own idea of how the Holmes/Watson dynamic works. Just look at ‘Sherlock’, the BBC’s surprisingly enjoyable updating of the series which began with a reimagining of A Study In Scarlet and you can see that the world of Sherlock Holmes is as relevant to today’s audiences as those half a century ago.

Stephen Fry to Stretch Himself in New Sherlock Film by Playing Incredibly Intelligent Posh Bloke

September 28th, 2010 By Si Sharp

Stephen Fry- author, presenter, actor, and Britain?s most popular choice of dinner party guest has confirmed that he is to play Mycroft Holmes, older brother to Sherlock in the planned sequel to last year?s surprise hit film. We say ?surprise? because the film?s director Guy Ritchie spectacularly wrong-footed everyone in 2009 by making a competent blockbuster about the 19^th century smug-bastard detective.

After a heroically terrible run of films, Ritchie has had something of a renaissance over the last few years.

First there was the marriage split. Whereas in 2000 us Brits were quite proud to have Madonna over ?ere, buyin? our mansions and shaggin? our mockneys, in 2008 the dream has gone a bit sour. We were quite content with her being a humourless career disco-cyborg but then she pretended to be English.

Some Mug Turns Over Guy Ritchie’s Gaff

June 2nd, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

It’s a brave man who’d try and burgle Guy Ritchie. Don’t they know he’s an expert kung-fu practitioner?

Don’t they know he’s a brawler? Don’t they know that his ex-wife Madonna might be visiting, and that if she is they might end up being apprehended between her veiny – yet unusually strong – leotard-clad thighs? More relevantly, don’t they know that Guy Ritchie lives in a ridiculously large country estate full of servants, and that they’d probably be caught the moment they broke in?

Apparently not, because that’s what happened on Monday. The servant thing, not the thing about Madonna’s thighs. That’d be gross.

The Longest-Ever Episode Of Jonathan Creek May Not Get a Sequel

January 5th, 2010 By Amy Grindhouse

Guy Ritchie may have already screwed the chances of a Sherlock Holmes sequel ever getting off the ground.

Well not Guy himself, but one of the blokes in his movie, a little known actor by the name of Robert Downey Jr. No, we’ve never heard of him either but we expect great things from his career.

Okay, enough New Year’s silliness. According to reports, despite having only just been spanked at the box office by The Over-long, Over-priced Thunder Smurfs movie, the chances of a Sherlock Holmes sequel being made are already in jeopardy. In a recent interview on The Late Show With David Letterman Robert joked about his new movie having a homoerotic subtext, in which characters Holmes and Watson are gay lovers. He also asked the audience whether or not Holmes was in fact “a very butch homosexual.” Apparently, a little well-dressed man-on-man love is enough to ruffle the feathers of the copyright holder.

Sherlock Holmes & The 99 Cent Go-Go Taquitos

December 2nd, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

From Paul Newman eating 50 eggs in the film Cool Hand Luke, to Mel Gibson eating dog biscuits in Lethal Weapon 3, movies and food have been closely linked.

So it comes as no surprise that in order to promote the new Guy Ritchie-helmed version of Sherlock Holmes, Warner Brothers have teamed up with that stalwart of American convenience food, 7-Eleven. Because when you think of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle‘s famous detective solving crimes in Victorian London, you also think of microwaving a burrito and swigging weak, lukewarm coffee.

Since mid-November the chain has been running the Holmes promotion, the main part of which involves you using a clue printed on your coffee cup to go online and unlock another clue on a special 7-Eleven/Holmes microsite, which then takes you to another Holmes teaser site, which then presents you with another mystery. If you solve that you apparently then get more clues leading up to the movie’s opening scene, which OH MY GOD THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST CONVOLUTED LOAD OF SHIT.

Guy Ritchie Still Loves Madonna, Even Though She’s A Huge Retard

October 8th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If there’s one thing that Madonna isn’t, it’s a retard. Old, gap-toothed, embarrassing, yes – but not retarded.

But tell that to Guy Ritchie. He was married to Madonna for several years, so if he says that Madonna is retarded then, yes, Madonna must be retarded. And since Guy Ritchie said that Madonna is retarded in this month’s Esquire, it must be true.

But it’s OK – Guy also says that he still loves Madonna. Aww, it’s just like Romeo & Juliet, isn’t it? A wildly offensive version of Romeo & Juliet where Juliet is about 150 years old and keeps thrusting her manky old genitals in people’s faces when they’re trying to eat.

Brad Pitt To Be In Sherlock Holmes, But Not Really

August 18th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

When Henry VIII wrote his first Sherlock Holmes story on the severed necks of his dead wives sometime in the 1500s, he likely had no idea how long his sleuth would endure.

Yet here it is, some 500 years later and we’re still making movies out of him. And how, you might ask, can this next incarnation possibly seem fresh after all these years? Why, as best as we can tell they’re tying in Iron Man or something.

Also – they’re bringing in Brad Pitt. Or they’re not. But they are. Or they’re not.

Watch The Sherlock Holmes Trailer! Elementary, My Dear Watson!

May 31st, 2009 By Alex de Moller

Robert Downey Jr. is Sherlock Holmes…

Our inspectors are baffled by the mystery of it: somehow, our favourite Victorian hero was mistaken for Inspector Gadget. Guy Ritchie resurrects London’s drug-reliant super-detective and ditches his deerstalker hat for ninja skills and fruity dialogue. Accompanied by Watson (Jude Law), a plot involving the occult and other destructive powers sends Mr. Holmes on a mission fraught with explosions, bare-knuckle boxing and ridiculous acrobatics.

Portrait Of Madonna’s Saggy Tits Fails To Sell

May 31st, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

At one point in time, Madonna was a feminine woman who graced the charts without having to flex her arse at us.

Even perverts liked her – they got to see ropey porn featuring cars and candle wax. Now she's bulked up so much that if you sticky-taped a drawing of a willy over her lady tunnel, she’d legally be classified as a bloke.

Over the years, she has moved on to other career paths. These include picking up an African child as her new plaything and divorcing Guy Richie. Someone captured their time together in a painting which we?d sum up as rubbish. Arty people seem to agree too – nobody bought it.

Guy Ritchie & Jemima Khan: Genuinely Rubbish Couple Alert

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Say whatever you like about Guy Ritchie, but never suggest that he doesn’t like women with stupid accents.

Because that’s incontestable fact. Until recently Guy Ritchie was married to Madonna, whose bizarre mid-Atlantic accent made her sound exactly like Lloyd Grossman choking on grape skins – and now it’s been rumoured that he’s hooked up with Jemima Khan, the horsey aristocrat who used to go out with Hugh Grant.

And, as we all known, Jemima Khan is so furiously posh that her voice sounds a mouse stuck up a chimney who can only communicate in vowel-sounds. Well done, Guy Ritchie.