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This is awkward. Despite currently resembling the bastard child of River Phoenix and Alanis Morissette it seems Ed Furlong has gotten himself married without anyone really realising. Not only that, but the straight-to-dvd ‘star’ has been howling-at-the-moon crazy for so long it’s a wonder he’s still at liberty.
And we’ve overlooked it. Give us a break. Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen have been keeping us busy.
But it turns out he’s nuttier than the both of them, squared. Read More >>>
Celebrityland can often be a turbulent place, with all sorts of crazy stuff going on. For the humble person, it can sometimes be difficult to work out if it’s the PR machine going in to overdrive to drum up some publicity or it’s just a fake story designed to get idiots like us to report it.
We only write the truth and nothing but the hardcore facts.
At times, it seems that the line can be blurred from those famous folk who so badly crave our attention, that’ll they go to any lengths to gain it. Unless you happen to be a teenage girl, we assume you won’t know who Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are. In short, they are both stars of MTV’s horribly staged reality show, The Hills. The program may have finished, but their real lives resemble nothing more than a terrible sitcom that wouldn’t even be screened on BBC Three. Read More >>>
The affairs of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are up there with the most boring of celebrity romances. These two non-entities simply exist, and that seems to be more than enough for you dribbling simpletons.
Despite the pair being of no-fixed talent, they remain in currency by virtue of their combined stupidity. Pratt likes to get on planes with a bag full of guns while Montag cries all the time because she doesn’t want a weird face like Michael Jackson or frets over the release of a sex tape she made.
They split up, Pratt apologised and now it seems, that they can’t be bothered getting divorced from each other and in fact, they should probably stay together because on their own, it’s only a matter of time before one of them had an accident in busy traffic brought on by idiotry. Read More >>>
The world of celebrity is not unused to certain members of its population doing odd things.
Take Danny Dyer for instance, suggesting that a woman deciding against a long-term relationship with a man is a legitimate excuse for face-murder. Or Lindsay Lohan, whose crazed mind believed that she would curry favour with a judge by writing swears on her fingernails. Or Alan Bloody Davies, who bloody well once bit the bloody ear off of a bloody tramp.
Maniacs all. But none of them has ever travelled quite so close to the Mountains of Madness as today’s celebrigimp: Spencer Pratt (who used to stick his bookies’ biro penis into Heidi Montag) has been arrested at Costa Rica’s airport while trying to board a plane with guns. Guns he had used during the previous few days to kill some food during a spirit-cleansing exercise. Read More >>>
The OJ Simpson armed robbery trial has already been dragging on for what seems like a thousand years, but finally we’re onto guns.
According to one of OJ Simpson’s goons in court yesterday, OJ must have known that some of his henchmen were carrying guns because he shouted “Put the guns away,” at them during the raid. Unless he didn’t, which is what another witness is saying.
Incidentally, Charles Ehrlich – the man who claims that OJ Simpson knew about the guns – is an old friend of his. Or at least he was until he pleaded guilty to lesser charges in exchange for a testimony against Simpson, anyway. Now the pair have probably fallen out. And you know what happens to you if you fall out with OJ Simpson, don’t you.
You get one less Christmas card a year, that’s what. Why, what did you think we meant?
So it's official – OJ Simpson did ask his goons to bring guns to his alleged hotel room armed robbery in Las Vegas. And we know it's official because a man who might occasionally moonlight as a pimp said so.
Yesterday at the preliminary hearing to discover whether there's enough evidence to put OJ Simpson through a full criminal trial for his supposed role as the ringleader of an armed robbery, OJ's goon Walter Alexander testified that Simpson had asked him to "bring some heat" to the raid in case anything went wrong. However, come the full trial OJ Simpson is expected to counter-argue that he wasn't asking Alexander to bring a gun, rather to try and get his hands on an electric blanket or a patio heater or one of those gel-sack hand-warmer things with the metal clickers in them.
Because if there's one thing OJ Simpson hates, it's being slightly chilly. And people who steal his shit. But mainly chilliness, though.
The only things standing between OJ Simpson spending the rest of his life in jail for armed robbery and OJ Simpson being set free to skip around in a meadow like a wide-eyed schoolgirl are guns.
And whether or not OJ Simpson knew there were guns during the heist has been the main point in the court case to determine whether or not OJ Simpson should face a full trial for his alleged crime. OJ Simpson, you see, is adamant that he saw none of his goonsquad carrying guns during the hotel-room sports memorabilia raid – but testimonies by the goon who owned the guns, the goon who OJ Simpson asked to carry a gun and the memorabilia dealer who apparently had a gun held to his face seem to go against that. It all sounds a bit far-fetched to us – anyone who's read If I Did It knows that OJ Simpson's weapon of choice is a knife. That's a knife.
