When Jonathan Swift asserted the logic of cannibalism in his satirical essay ‘A Modest Proposal’, he suggested that the poor sell their children to the rich for food. In Jorge Michel Grau’s debut feature-length We Are What We Are the poor have already started eating themselves. This Mexican drama/horror focuses on a family whose principal dysfunction is the killing and eating of people.

The film opens with the family’s patriarch staring dead-eyed into the window of a department store, before falling down dead on the pavement. Street cleaners then move the body and clean the disgusting liquid that the man coughed up.

It’s not a subtle statement on poverty and class but it’s certainly one that is visually arresting. The man’s zombie-like appearance is at odds with the spotless surfaces of his consumerist surrounding, a juxtaposition familiar with Romero’s Dawn of the Dead.

The film then focuses on the man’s wife, two sons and daughter as they struggle to come to terms with their own roles, their relationships with each other and the small issue of how they are going to cope with the killing and eating of strangers now that daddy’s no longer bringing home the er… bacon. Mum is still angry at everyone for dad’s ‘addiction’ to prostitutes, an anger that she expresses at one point through a vicious saucepan-based attack on a hapless hooker.

It is the family politics which engage the audience. They are not monstrous in the same way as Leatherface’s similarly flesh-inclined clan in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but neither are you able to relate to them, each simply representing different roles within the family dynamic. The film’s trick is portraying the cannibals not as invincible predators but as victims. This is seen in their clumsy coming of age as hunters and social naifs, but also in their roles as personifications of the underclass.

Their world is a maze of shacks and alleyways completely at odds with the metropolitan areas, although it is a maze which all the characters are able to find their way around a little too easily. The film is filled with shots designed to conjure images of meat and hunting- their subtlety making them all the more effective. In one scene the oldest brother takes a bus surrounded by people holding on to the rails being jostled around like carcasses hung up in a butcher’s window.  Stylistically as well as Romero, the film also drops in a scene involving a coroner that is not so much inspired by, as nicked from fellow Mexican Guillermo Del Toro’s Cronos.

Where the film wastes its time is in its attempts to humanise the policemen whose paths eventually cross those of the family in the final act. The film may have made a stronger statement if they had remained faceless authority figures. These are minor complaints for a fascinating film that sets its tone so successfully and manages to say interesting things through its social realism while keeping you engaged with its atmosphere of approaching tragedy.

We Are What We Are is to buy on DVD and Blu-Ray from March 21st.

hecklerspray has three copies of We Are What We Are to give away! To win a copy just answer to following easy peasy question.

Which British ’90s indie-rock band were named after the word given to human flesh by Polynesian cannibals

1) The Longpigs

2) New Fast Automatic Daffodils

3) Mariah Carey

Enter via our twitter or Facebook pages (links below) while screaming #WEWANTFLESH at us with the answer.

We’ll arbitrarily pick you out of an imaginary hat and then get in touch with you to ask for your contact details so we can send your prize in the post in a jiffy bag that you’ll deem initially suspicious. Hurray for that!

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Hobbit fans had better just put their stupid wizard gowns and Golem masks back in the closet – Middle Earth is officially in turmoil.

Why? Because Hobbit director Guillermo Del Toro has quit as director of The Hobbit – and Peter Jackson has already ruled out taking the reins.

Apparently, the constant delays caused by the financial woes at MGM have pissed Guillermo Del Toro off so much he has decided to walk.

These are, of course, delays that Jackson and De Toro had only acknowledged until recently. So officially De Toro is kind of quitting over nothing.

This is after already spending two years in New Zealand with WETA preparing to make the two-part film.

The news is a right pain in The Ring for LOTR fans, who apparently were looking forward to seeing more emaciated Mexican eye-hand monsters than in Tolkien’s original vision.

He was also seen as an ideal choice to replace Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson – not because of his creative vision or anything like that, but because he looks exactly like Peter Jackson in a Bo Selecta mask.

But not now, after Del Toro decided he was sick of living in a Third World country or something. Well, you can’t blame him. New Zealand may look pretty, but there is sod all to do. OK, we are making this bit up.

Speaking on The One Ring, Del Toro said: “In light of ongoing delays in the setting of a start date for filming The Hobbit, I am faced with the hardest decision of my life.

“After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these wonderful pictures. I remain grateful to Peter, Fran and Philippa Boyens, New Line and Warner Brothers and to all my crew in New Zealand. I’ve been privileged to work in one of the greatest countries on earth with some of the best people ever in our craft and my life will be forever changed. The blessings have been plenty, but the mounting pressures of conflicting schedules have overwhelmed the time slot originally allocated for the project. Both as a co-writer and as a director, I wish the production nothing but the very best of luck and I will be first in line to see the finished product. I remain an ally to it and its makers, present and future, and fully support a smooth transition to a new director.”

Del Toro will, however, continue to co-write the screenplays with Fran Walsh, Jackson and Phillipa Boyens. But those hoping producer Jackson would step up to the plate are in for some bad news (although we did mention it in the second sentence). Jackson’s manager Ken Kamins said:

“Peter has and has had obligations and commitments to other films that would make it impossible for him to direct The Hobbit at this time, even if it was offered, which it hasn’t been.”

Mind you, Jackson is half the man he used to be, literally.

Meanwhile, Jackson added the usual crap you see at the end of press releases.

He said: “We feel very sad to see Guillermo leave The Hobbit, but he has kept us fully in the loop and we understand how the protracted development time on these two films, due to reasons beyond anyone’s control, has compromised his commitment to other long term projects.

“The bottom line is that Guillermo just didn’t feel he could commit six years to living in New Zealand, exclusively making these films, when his original commitment was for three years. Guillermo is one of the most remarkable creative spirits I’ve ever encountered and it has been a complete joy working with him.

“Guillermo’s strong vision is engrained into the scripts and designs of these two films, which are extremely fortunate to be blessed with his creative DNA.”

So is The Hobbit destined for Mount Doom? Well, in hecklerspray’s inexpert opinion: No chance, there’s too much money to be made to let it slip. Even if they have to get Michael bloody Bay to direct.

God, we have just thrown up in our mouths.

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Budgets must be tight at The Hobbit. Why else would they want a tiny, wee actor like James McAvoy to play the lead role of Bilbo Baggins unless they wanted to save on the special effects?

The annoying Scottish star has been heavily linked to be the star of the heavily-anticipated movie, which will be directed by Guillermo Del Toro and produced by Peter Jackson.

And, you have to say, he would be perfect as a hobbit. Well, he’s already about 3ft tall.

Now, Guillermo Del Toro refused to say just who they have in mind for the part, saying:

“I can tell you it’s down to a few names that we all agree upon. For our first choice, completely magically, we all have the same name.”

However, sources close to the project allegedly told The Daily Express:

“A number of names have been doing the rounds, including Daniel Radcliffe and Jack Black, but James (McAvoy) is the one the film’s bosses really want. They’re expected to have talks soon, so hopefully it could be confirmed in the not too distant future.”

If these are the best they can come up with, it might actually be a good thing that the film could be stopped in its tracks before it’s even started.

Hang on – Jack Black?!? Now, that would be odd!

Anyway, so The Daily Express say they have sources close to the project do they? Since, this is a newspaper which is only interested in reporting about Princess Diana more than a decade after her death, can we really take them seriously?

Daniel Radcliffe, Jack Black and James McAvoy? Aren’t they just naming small actors? Why isn’t Tom Cruise in there? They could save on effects there too.

Also, the fact, James McAvoy has a few films coming out soon (which we refuse to name), could this just be a PR stunt?

Well, like every other website, hecklerspray has taken the bait. But, thankfully, they could be saved by the fact Ron Perlman is probably going to be in the film.

Del Toro was recently quoted saying he wants the Hellboy star in the film, possibly as the voice of Smaug, although he also says he has ‘other plans’ for Perlman.

Sir Ian McKellen and Andy Serkis will also reprise their roles.

It’s official – Guillermo del Toro, the Bo Selecta Peter Jackson, is the director of the two upcoming Hobbit movies.

It’s been a long time coming, but finally New Line Cinema and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios have announced that they’re packing Guillermo del Toro off to New Zealand for the next four years so he can concentrate on making The Hobbit and its sequel, The Hobbit 2: The Hobbit In Space.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why Guillermo del Toro was chosen to direct the Hobbit movies – his flair for visual invention as demonstrated in Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy will really bring a sense of panache to his task of filming a bunch of midgets walking across the side of a mountain for six and a half titting hours.

There’s no doubting that the Lord Of The Rings trilogy was a landmark piece of cinema that moved the artform of self-indulgent, needlessly-overlong, self-important wankery that gave you deep vein thrombosis in your face just by making you watch it on by years, if not decades.

So it was inevitable that JRR Tolkien‘s other book, The Hobbit, would get turned into a movie as well. It would have happened sooner but Peter Jackson had a fight with the studio and then everyone made up except that Peter Jackson decided he wanted to devote his time to making painfully long movies about dragons or something instead, so a new director of The Hobbit had to be found.

Finding the right director was a hard task, because whoever was chosen to make The Hobbit had to a) stay true to JRR Tolkien’s original vision, b) pad the story out enough to turn it into two movies so that everyone could get twice as rich from it and c) move to New Zealand, The Prettiest Place To Die Of Utter Fucking Mind-Shredding Boredom On Earth.

And while the early favourite to direct The Hobbit was Guillermo del Toro of Pan’s Labyrinth fame, nothing was made official. Until now, as Reuters reports:

Del Toro, whose credits include “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “Blade II,” will move to New Zealand for the next four years to work on both “Hobbit” films with executive producer Peter Jackson, who directed all three “The Lord of the Rings” movies, according to New Line Cinema and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios… “We have long admired Guillermo’s work and cannot think of a more inspired filmmaker to take the journey back to Middle-earth,” Jackson and his producing partner, Fran Walsh, said in a statement.

So, with filming set to begin next year, it’s full steam ahead for Guillermo del Toro as he makes all sorts of difficult decisions about The Hobbit. Will Ian McKellan return as Gandalf? Who will play Bilbo Baggins? Will del Toro be tied to the visual style of the Lord Of The Rings movies or will he be allowed to make it his own? Will the movie have one ending or will he follow Lord Of The Rings and film 38 different endings and then make everyone sit through them all one after the other for three extra hours when all they want to do it go to the toilet?

In 2010 we’ll find out, by being thumped on the head with The Hobbit marketing campaigns for months before it even comes out until we feel like we’re terrible people if we don’t see it. Then we’ll find out alright.

Read more:

Mexico’s del Toro to direct “The Hobbit” – Reuters

The Hobbit will definitely be coming to cinemas, and it'll probably have more creepy scrawny Mexican eye-hand monsters than you remembered.

That's because Guillermo Del Toro – director of Pan's Labyrinth and Blade II – is reportedly in talks to take on both proposed Hobbit movies when they eventually get written and made.

And Guillermo Del Toro has certainly won over the fans, too – not because of his creative vision or anything like that, mind you, but because he looks exactly like Peter Jackson in a Bo Selecta mask.

Nobody wanted the Lord Of The Rings trilogy to end; not least Lord Of The Rings itself, thanks to its brain-numbing, bladder-cramping procession of witless drawn-out endings that lasted – we timed it – for four entire days. But Lord Of The Rings wasn't enough for the fans, and nor were the mega-extended super-lengthened DVD editions of Lord Of The Rings that came with the guarantee that you'd die of old age before the middle of The Two Towers if you tried to watch them.

And that left The Hobbit. It didn't matter that The Hobbit was a kid's book or that it basically involves a bit of a stroll, a dragon-killing and then a bit of a stroll home again, because demand to make The Hobbit was hot. But then Peter Jackson and New Line had a fight and it was all called off. And then Peter Jackson and New Line made up again and The Hobbit was back on, even though Jackson couldn't be arsed to direct it.

So step forward Guillermo Del Toro, creator of the award-winning Pan's Labyrinth. It's been reported that Del Toro is currently the frontrunner to direct the two proposed Hobbit movies thanks to his fantastical visual flair and inventive world-building skills. 

That's all well and good, but can he fly in a helicopter filming a couple of midgets and a wizard walk across a mountain for three or four hours at a time? If not, he'd better bloody learn. Anyway, even though IMDb lists Guillermo Del Toro as  having ten producing jobs and three directing jobs lined up – not including the Harry Potter movie he's fighting Steven Spielberg for, Del Toro thinks he'd be brilliant for The Hobbit. E! Online reports:

"I’ve heard some rumblings, but nothing official," del Toro told Entertainment Weekly last month when asked if he'd been approached for the job. "I don’t want to think about it because it’s such an eventuality. It’s the only Tolkien book I read…I read it and I loved it. So it would be a privilege."

Well that's hardly the basis for anything – it's the only Tolkien book we've read as well, so we're just as qualified to direct The Hobbit as this Guillermo De Toro character. Admittedly we read it as children and we can't really remember most of it – we think there was a bit about a sports car and SuperTed featured heavily in the climax – but we are cheap.

Never let it be said that we aren't cheap.

Read more: 

Del Toro a Hobbit-Forming Director - E! Online