So, by now, you will have seen or at least become aware that Scarlett Johansson had some self-shot naked pictures leaked yesterday. That’s right. We’ve all seen her T&A now.
If you haven’t seen them (what have you been doing? Living in a cave?), click here and, no, they’re not safe for work.
Legally, we still have to add that we’re not 100% certain that they’re genuine (someone’s a bit good with photoshop if not), but adding to the credibility of the snaps is the news coming through that Johansson has asked the FBI to find out just who leaked the photographs. It wasn’t us. We could hack through cobwebs, let alone the photos from someone’s phone. However, there’s more rumours circulating that Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis should be feeling a little nervous today as there’s mutterings of nudes appearing of this pair.
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Big news folks! Big, big news! Despite nobody wanting to hire her for acting jobs, Taylor Momsen has decided to announce to the three people who showed any interest that she’s going to quit being a thespian.
That’s like Simon Cowell announcing that he’s quitting dressing up as a dog on children’s television.
So obviously, Momsen (sounds like the Swedish equivalent of Mumsnet) is going to focus on her underwhelming music career, complete with all it’s forced shock tactics, like flashing her boobs and getting young women to strip for her during shows.
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Taylor Momsen likes to shock people. She burned her dog’s nuts and flashed her barely legal boobies at everyone and generally likes to pass herself off as the more reckless, firmer Iggy Pop. Alas, her tunes are awful and it reeks of the worst type of attention seeking (as opposed to the fun kind where everyone feels like they’re in on the joke).
So what is she up to now?
Well, in a bid to make us all feel like vile perverts, she’s got a bunch of girls to strip their clothes off on-stage, and sadly, we’ve got the video too… which will probably get us all arrested for peddling underage filth. You should burn your hardrive after watching it… which you will… because you’re disgusting.
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You know that Taylor Momsen, that teenage girl who acts seems to spend most of her life acting like a bit of a slag, wearing too much eye makeup and singing in that band that you still haven’t heard of? Well she’s been up to her old tricks again.
The Pretty Reckless singer, who used to be some sort of television star had previously gotten her underage baps out at a gig, gave a rather steamy lapdance to a female fan at a gig in Barcelona and even allowed another fan to give her chesticles a good ol’ fashioned grope.
ROCK N’ ROLL!
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Remember how Blake Lively (yes, we’ve checked – that really is the name her parents bestowed on her) has never been naked in her entire life, let alone whipped out a smartphone and snapped pictures of her junk?
Well, after reps howled that the snaps were “100 percent FAKE!”, the hacker who circulated the photographs has decided to hit back.
And they’ve decided to hit back with a further 17 naked pictures of the Gossip Girl and hand-holder of Leonardo DiCaprio.
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We say Blake Lively, and you say “Who? She’s got a funny name though!” Well, she’s… uh… y’know? She was in Gossip Girl. Didn’t watch it? She was in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants too. How dare you suggest we made that film up! It was really… well… we haven’t seen it. She rumoured to be Leonardo Dicaprio’s current beau. Does that count for anything? No?
So why on Earth are we writing about this person of absolutely no interest or cultural value? Because there’s leaked photographs of her being completely naked online, that’s why! And she happens to be Leonardo Dicaprio’s current beau.
Or, more appropriately, ALLEGED nude photos. That’s because she’s denying that these pictures are real and, so certain is she that she’s willing to take legal action about it.
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ITV2 is a very odd channel. They seem intent on keeping Kerry Katona’s career alive for reasons that quite frankly baffle anyone with half a brain cell, even budget supermarket Iceland had enough sense to get rid of her and they had an advert in which Jason Donovan did the can-can in fish nets.
But even by their usual insane standards ITV2 has thrown us a curve ball, by using an obscure 90s alternative band famed for excess and eccentricity to advertise their middle of the road teen drama Gossip Girl.
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Taylor Momsen, is like, totally serious about her music and wants us all to know that, despite distracting us from said music by constantly getting her lady baps out, this really isn’t a “vanity” project.
Of course, you’ll definitely know Momsen from her role as Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl. However, she’s been effectively thrown off the show for being unbearable and so brattish that she makes Veruca Salt look as quiet as a sleeping nun.
These days, she’s all about her rock band The Pretty Reckless who have released an album and everything! You won’t know that it was called Light Me Up because you were too busy looking at Taylor’s momsens. You’re not even reading this are you? You’re looking at her busters right now. Sicko.
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