Articles tagged with: Gordon Brown
Goody Two Shoes JK Rowling Magics Some Cash To Evil Gordon Brown
Reading a newspaper doesn’t seem to be as fun as it used to be. Whilst sniggering at the Page 3 girls' outlook on life, these enlightening comments have now turned to something much more shocking. Death! Fear! Famine! Terror! Bono! Knives! Guns! They all make for happy and pleasant reading on the way in to work. All before you’re charged £1.80 for a piss weak cup of coffee in the local café. If the thought of being stabbed to death isn't great enough to reduce you to a nervous wreck who only watches Jeremy Kyle, we’ve got a new crisis. Apparently, all the banks in the world who rape us via bank charges have run out of money or something. Subsequently, everything is going to cost more and limit us to only seven Starbucks trips a day. With Gordon Brown taking the hit for messing up the country, there seems to have been no help or even a cuddle anywhere. Well that is until JK Rowling came along and donated £1,000,000 of her own money to help him out.
Reading a newspaper doesn’t seem to be as fun as it used to be. Whilst sniggering at the Page 3 girls' outlook on life, these enlightening comments have now turned to something much more shocking. Death! Fear! Famine! Terror! Bono! Knives! Guns! They all make for happy and pleasant reading on the way in to work. All before you’re charged £1.80 for a piss weak cup of coffee in the local café. If the thought of being stabbed to death isn't great enough to reduce you to a nervous wreck who only watches Jeremy Kyle, we’ve got a new crisis. Apparently, all the banks in the world who rape us via bank charges have run out of money or something. Subsequently, everything is going to cost more and limit us to only seven Starbucks trips a day. With Gordon Brown taking the hit for messing up the country, there seems to have been no help or even a cuddle anywhere. Well that is until JK Rowling came along and donated £1,000,000 of her own money to help him out.
Shakira & Gordon Brown Fix Everyone’s Problems
Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he's been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions. Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira. No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let's be smart here - if we play it cool enough, Brown won't stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality!
Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he's been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions. Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira. No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let's be smart here - if we play it cool enough, Brown won't stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality!
