Michael Jackson Turns 50; Now Officially A Creepy Old Man Today is a very special day, because it's the day that Michael Jackson turns 50 - or at least the odd patch of Michael Jackson turns 50. Seriously, there are probably parts of his face that are only a couple of months old. But anyway, as bewildered as we are that Michael Jackson is 50, his birthday does beg one important question: What do you get a man who's already spent way beyond his means to have everything? Turns out the answer might be a telephone interview with Good Morning America, because that's what he's been given. And how did Michael Jackson tell an entire country that he would spend this important milestone? By having "a little cake with my children and we'll probably watch some cartoons." Don't, OK? Just don't.

VIDEO: Diane Keaton Does A Swearword On The Telly If you had a really, really awful looking film coming out and you're clearly too old to pretend to be pregnant like Eva Longoria, what do you do?

Easy, if you're Diane Keaton you swear like a titting docker at the most inappropriate time you can think of, that's what. On a live visit to Good Morning America to promote her Mad Money film yesterday, Diane Keaton decided to screech "If I had lips like yours I wouldn't have to work on my fucking personality!" at host Diane Sawyer like some sort of pottymouthed harpy.

Yes, we've got video.