goddesses - HecklerSpray

Who Would Have Ever Imagined That Charlie Sheen’s Goddesses Would’ve Got Jealous?

July 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Apart from the fact Charlie Sheen is a dead-eyed berk with a bizarrely high opinion of himself and a nose that can really handle corrosive high grade drugs, willing to sniff out furniture to punch and women to upset, why on Earth would his former lover, Bree Olson, want to leave him?

She didn’t feel comfortable sharing him with his other girlfriend.

That’s right! The former Two and a Half Men set up this little bubble for himself where he got to have two girlfriends at once. An open relationship in other words. Of course, he couldn’t let it go without meme-ing it, titling the girls his ‘goddesses’. And so porn star Olson and nanny Natalie Kenly became his unit… and the porn star decided she didn’t like the idea of Sheen having sex with someone else. Crikey.

Charlie Sheen To Grin Through The Tears At Comedy Roast Before Hitting The Drugs Again

July 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

For all the misery that Charlie Sheen has put us through since his wheeze of Being A Nutter got tired, we’ve all been waiting for some comeback. We kinda hoped he’d OD on bad drugs surrounded by prostitutes rifling his pockets, but alas, it wasn’t to be.

In fact, since Chuck Sheeno knocked the drugs on the head, the best he’s offered is a stupid custody case which is less interesting as watching nana trying to work a television remote.

However, we might get to see his uncomfortable face grinning while he masks the stabbing pain of being torn eight new arseholes as it transpires he’ll be subject to one of those fine American institutions – The Comedy Roast.

Charlie Sheen Admits Using Illicit Drugs ? World Rubs Eyes And Wonders If It's Still Last Year.

June 30th, 2011 By Paul Pencott

In a statement that startled absolutely no-one in the cosmos, Charlie Sheen has come clean and admitted that he once did some drugs and that.

WAIT! It's steroids this time. Reports that currently no drugs are left in the world for Charlie Sheen to consume are unconfirmed, but we are advising parents to keep their ?easy-pour? (my foot) sachets of Calpol under lock and key.

No-one is certain as to why this has come to light, but rumours that Sheen had to remain somehow shocking after he confessed to the use of a fictional drug he alarmingly referred to as ?Cha-lay Sheeyn? may be the cause.

The Horribly Lonely Charlie Sheen To Die A Gruesome, Violent Death

June 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Charlie Sheen was once the talk of the town. He enchanted us all with his spectacular nervous breakdown, his drug taking, his fondness for pornography, his punching of chandeliers and his inventing of various phrases. However, he went off quicker than an opened yoghurt.

Still, we left Sheeno with his custody case with Brooke Mueller and his many girlfriends (or ‘Goddesses’ as he preferred), so while we mocked his slope away from the limelight, he still seemed to have an enviable, if brain-rotting life.

Or not, as it transpires. See, these days, since no-one really gives two shits about Charlie Sheen (he’s clean of drugs now, thereby, he’s as boring as Robert Pattinson), those that enjoyed sharing his limelight have decided to walk away from him. He’s no longer eccentric and famous, rather, he’s just a weirdo now. And long gone are his goddesses as Charlie now find himself horrible single and invariably rummaging around trying to find his dealer’s phone number again.

Charlie Sheen May Get Porn House Dream

May 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember a few months ago, when everyone couldn’t stop talking about Charlie Sheen? There was a time he was a champion wreck. He made women cry, invented seven thousand catchphrases, wobbled about on rooftops with massive knives and looked like he was headed for a spectacular early grave.

Then he became self-aware, cleaned his act up and went on tour. Almost as boring as his custody battle with his ex wife, which essentially was gossip turning into admin.

Well, his name has appeared in the news again with the word ‘porn’ attached to it, so it should be good right? Has Charlie lost his mop again, hoovering up insane amounts of Class A drugs and locked himself in his home cinema with a hundred adult actresses, all taking it in turns trying unsuccessfully to get him hard?