Unless you need a slap, you’ll be firmly aware that Medusa “dick on the Towers of London.”

Ever since we found this bunch of rock ‘n’ rollers hiding in the shadowy corners of Myspace on one of our trawls, we have been firm fans.

Nowadays it appears that you can get a one way ticket to brief musical stardom by brandishing an Argos syringe and screaming “look at me I’ve just pricked the skin and all this yellow gunk is squirting out!”

Whatever happened to the good old days of bands getting up to all sort of fiendish antics which resulted in everyone getting a laugh and some poor bastard suffering for a little bit? Can you count on The Kooks, Scouting For Girls or some other indie twonks to do this?

Don’t be daft – you need a real band. After an overdue absence Medusa have returned with another tale which sounds so random that it belongs in one of those Family Guy cutaway scenes.

After recommending the band to you, the welcoming and sometimes friendly hecklerspray readership, we thought we wouldn’t hear from them again, at least not until new releases and tours came about did we expect to push some information your way.

But it turned out that other people had caught on to the buzz surrounding Medusa. Big haired funny man and dodgy author Russell Brand invited the band round to his gaff to play a set and help them get signed. The Sun reported the band simply nicked a naff looking gnome, but thankfully Julian from Medusa told us the truth:

“Russell Brand was gonna set about helping us to get signed a couple of months back, and organised us to play privately at his house. The band got a bit wasted afterwards and bass player Amadeus De La Fontaine had a piss on what turned out to be a ridiculous porcelain statue of a trout wearing pyjamas. Russell went psycho (and he started lecturing us about how much things cost). He told us the deal was off. I stole a garden gnome on the way out.”

Hoorah! Some national press for the band and a chance to laugh at Russell Brand a bit more. But the stories didn’t end there, and in another odd encounter between the two, another bodily fluid was used to annoy people and – even stranger – a goat was involved.

Russell had forgiven Medusa for the gnome nicking incident and invited them on to a pilot of a yet to be seen program. For a reason we are still unaware of, the band smuggled the hairy beast into the studio where the presenter’s clothes were eaten and his shoes shat in. Amadeus De La Fontaine told us what happened at the time:

“We snook the little bastard in inside a bass cab that we use to transport contraband. Shoes’ the goat was in the dressing room on his own for a good 20 minutes and chewed up a couple of Russell’s frilly shirts, shat in his pointy shoes and helped himself to some of his hair products. It was fucking shitting all over the place. Russell was prancing around in a tizz complaining that one of his cravats was missing too. It was marvellous!”

If this isn’t worth the keys to a brewery or a Page 3 factory then we don’t know what kind of award is worthy of them.

After a quite few months of gigging, getting drunk and working on new material, we have been told of a new shenanigan that these rascals have been up to. Moving away from stealing, destroying items and the improper disposal of bodily fluids, the band have this time been involved with comedian and singer Ken Dodd. Yup, we’re confused too. We’ll let Julian explain what happened:

“Medusa got asked to play a gig in the back garden a friend’s birthday. Her mother is a close family friend of Ken Dodd’s and it was held at her house in Liverpool. Our bass player Chrissy had made some space cakes for the night’s festivities. Early on, after we had set up the gear, sitting in a Gazebo, he took them from his bag and put them onto a plate, about to eat them but went off to answer a mobile phone call, when he came back Ken was saying how good they were as he had almost finished one, believing they were part of the buffet. We didn’t tell him, and after about an hour, he began acting a little strange.

“Later on he was in a gazebo entertaining people and put a colander on his head, making people laugh [especially us], then he went off and cooked a ridiculous amount of food in the kitchen, especially concentrating on the gravy wearing an apron and singing Queen’s ‘I want to break free’. He then poured gravy on the birthday cake. We noticed Ken doing a bit of old man dancing during the gig too. Me and our drummer Paul Brynes got kicked out shortly after for feeding the goldfish to the family dog.”

Forget all your mindless destruction to hotel property and shagging fifty groupies in a single session. This is what we want to see happening more often – old people getting involved in amusing incidents against their will. It’s just another day in the life of Medusa really.

The band play Lark in the Park in London on August 31st. Go tell them hecklerspray sent you. Space cakes may be offered. Or a hug at best.