Gisele - HecklerSpray

Tom Brady & Gisele’s Baby Already Better Looking Than You

December 10th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Tom Brady and Gisele have had a baby boy, and you’re right to be envious. That little kid’s got everything.

From both of his parents he’s got good looks. From Tom Brady he’s got sporting prowess. And from Gisele he’s got the ability to earn offensive amounts of money by standing around in a sparkly bra with a glum look on his face. Truly, the Tom Brady/ Gisele baby is unstoppable.

Let’s just pray that this little boy never meets and falls in love with Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt. A baby that mixes the genetics of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Tom Brady and Gisele would probably bring about the end of the world. Or get a fairly lucrative job modelling for magazines. One or the other.

Top 20 Victoria?s Secret Models Of All Time

November 19th, 2009 By David Schwartz

Victoria?s Secret? Well, it’s not really a secret at all.

Want to sell some underwear? Just get some of the hottest women alive to prance around in it.

It's that simple. Seriously, stick Heidi Klum in an advert for anything and we would be at the front of the queue. Even if it is thrush cream.

Job done. But who are the hottest Victoria?s Secret models of all? Well, all we can say is, we certainly enjoyed trying to find out.

Gisele & Tom Brady’s Wedding Full Of Romantic Gunfire

April 6th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Gisele and Tom Brady are the new Brad and Angelina – which at least means we can ditch the old Brad and Angelina.

But the comparison is apt. Gisele and Tom Brady have got Brad and Angelina’s model good looks, plus they’ve got a kid that’s not completely theirs, plus – and here’s the dealbreaker – they’ve both got a violent hatred for paparazzi.

How violent? Enough for their security guard to allegedly fire a gun at a couple of photographers outside Gisele and Tom Brady’s second wedding ceremony this weekend. Fair enough – God forbid Gisele should ever be photographed actually wearing clothes.

Gisele Bundchen Wants Your Baby

April 1st, 2009 By Amy Grindhouse

Guest blog! Amy Grindhouse!

Model Gisele Bundchen recently gave an interview to Vanity Fair magazine that left many in the industry and beyond scratching their lace-front weaves with confusion.

The leggy Brazilian must have baked in the sun too long, or perhaps ingested too much toxic fake bake, as she seemed a little confused.

In a world where money and celebrity clout can easily buy your way around the adoption process and reality is nothing but a distant dream, perhaps it is no real surprise that Gisele has no idea whom she has given birth to recently.

Gisele & Tom Brady Get Married! TO EACH OTHER!

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Do you like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but find all their rampant intellect both intimidating and subversive?

Well, you can relax now. There’s a brand-new intimidatingly good-looking celebrity couple in town, and – best of all – it looks like they’d both struggle to work zips unless they went on a four-month training course beforehand. That’s right – Gisele and Tom Brady have got married.

Gisele and Tom Brady got married last night in Santa Monica, and shattered all kinds of marriage conventions in the process, like ‘never get married on a Thursday’ and ‘try not to make your wedding cartoonishly dull’.

Gisele Gets Engaged To Presumably Very Smug Man

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Nothing makes us feel fuzzier than when two attractive, successful millionaires rub their happiness in our faces.

So you won’t be able to imagine how fuzzy we feel now we’ve learnt that supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a woman so far out of our league that we barely qualify as the same species as her, has got engaged to Tom Brady – a professional athlete who could undoubtedly beat us in a fight even if we were armed and he wasn’t.

Congratulations to Tom and Gisele, then – may your children be just as attractive as you but somehow take their intellect from a better-equipped third party.