When Michael Jackson was alive (he’s very much dead these days), he ended up getting married to Lisa Marie Presley. It was weird. The King Of Pop shacking up with The King Of Rock ‘n’ Roll’s daughter. Mixing pop royalty like that… it’s incestuous and odd.

And guess what is going to happen?

That’s right, with a little bit of history repeating itself, Michael’s daughter – Paris Jackson – is giving the sex-eye to pop midget, Justin Bieber. You can just imagine the people behind both of these veritable toddlers advising them about how good a relationship with each other would be for their careers. Blecch!

It appears that Paris is not able to resist the juggernaut charm of Bieber, after she introduced him at her father’s tribute show in Hollywood.

It is reported that she ‘nearly melted in the process’. Much like her father’s face then? Nice that someone should carry on the noble family tradition.

In her intro, Paris said:

“We are all very big fans of [Justin] and his music” — and then, with a coy smile, she added, “I know I am.”

Then, Justin appeared to thunderous screams (again, much like the screams Michael would be greeted by when he found himself dazed and drugged and wandering around a playground without his special Bad trousers on) and rattled through a version of ‘Rockin’ Robin’, which MJ covered back in ’72.

Sadly, now Bieber has covered the song, it has rendered it unlistenable forever more.

Either way, keep an eye out for a gut-wrenching break-up between Bieber and Selena Gomez as he cruelly tosses her aside for a more famous, more bizarre Jackson sprog.

Good news is, is that this could get very, very ugly indeed. She’s the one with a tea-towel on her head, right?

Americans have loads of stuff that’s essentially just for them, but occasionally seeps into the cultural mindset of others. Even though its just rounders for men, they call it the “world series” even though only American teams compete.

Then there’s the general extra injection of happiness and excitement that all Americans possess. Even going to the toilet to expel waste results in over enthusiastic whoops, screams and cheers, almost like they’ve passed a sparkly stool.

TV is, sometimes, America’s best export. But then again, this is the same nation that still churns out The Simpsons despite all its charm vanishing years ago. One giant success is Glee, even though it is essentially a TV version of High School Musical, but even more sweet and sickly. And the series is about to broadcast a tribute Michael Jackson episode. What could possibly go wrong?

Now, we don’t really want to bring this up, but if memory serves, there were a few incidents during Michael Jackson’s career where he was accused of being slightly inappropriate with children. Not by accidentally swearing in front of an infant, rather, he was accused of committing the last taboo – having a fiddle with a tot.

That made him bad, dangerous and totally off the wall when the world found out.

But who are we to accuse someone of a crime they didn’t commit? After all, not one, but two separate juries let him off all charges brought against him. Hooray! We’re sure he Michael Jackson celebrated with a Jesus Juice party inside a tree house. Of course we still make jokes about it, but then again, Michael Jackson fans are no better.

They’re still baying for the blood of ‘Sexy’ Dr. Conrad Murray. Nobody ever overlooks the fact that Jackson was a known addict to industrial strength drugs. And poor ‘Sexy’ Conrad was convicted of his manslaughter as he was the provider of said drugs. Great to Team Jackson – Jermaine, Tito, Randy and Janet all involved in the process of trying to save their brother. Not La Toya though. She’s too mental to care.

With the world more or less over the death of the pop star, there’s still another way for the Jackson estate to bore us about his career and see a mini surge in sales.

On January 31st, an episode will premiere featuring a bucket load of songs which will be praised by fans of the show and hated by Michael Jackon nutcases, who’ll be angered that someone dared emulate their hero. A teaser trailer has been released to promote the episode. LOOK:

This will all be interspliced with the following storyline that we have no idea about. Even the hecklerspray phantom couldn’t manage an episode:

“The rivalry between the New Directions and the Warblers intensifies en route to Regionals. Meanwhile, Kurt and Rachel receive news regarding their admissions process at NYADA, and things continue to heat up between Sam and Mercedes.”

2-4-6-8, what do we appreciate? A large bottle of gin and backstreet fried chicken.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Any haunting aficionado will tell you that there are three main kinds of ghosts; those of Christmas past, those of Christmas present & Stay Puft Marshmallow men. Occasionally, however, a fourth kind of ghost pops up.

This is the kind that haunts into children’s rooms in the middle of the night, sits on their chests & gabs about their ghostly day so long the poor kids end up sleeping in their finger paint by noon next day.

A spooky and specific account of this type is waiting for you after the jump.

Do you believe in ghosts? Other than the types that sit with you at pottery wheels, we mean. If ghosts were only blood thirsty, dead Patrick Swayzes seeking to kill all those who would Harm Demi Moore, the Demi-indifferent of us would probably be OK with them.

Unfortunately according to some, ghosts can be far more nefarious. Like that Michael Jackson ghost that materialized on stage at an African elementary school talent show or whatever. What a terror that one was! And sometimes ghosts appear entire cities at a time. Detroit, for example.

The really spooky ghosts, though, are the ones that saunter into your room and sit on your chest. Once they’ve got you thus restrained, they become chatty Cathies. If you’ve never heard of this before – it (or something like it) is often called Old Hag Syndrome.

This one is slightly different, however, because it includes the old gray ghost of a man. The aged spectre spends his nights in the room of a five year old boy – sitting on the lad’s chest as we mentioned before.

The Daily Mail has the dirt:

“A father has told how his five-year-old son claims he has been troubled by visions of a ghostly man with grey skin who speaks to him in the night. Dave Gerrity, 41, said his son Dagan first complained about seeing something in his bedroom in the family’s Bridlington home around six months ago. Mr Gerrity said: ‘Dagan is scared about it. He cries about it. He’s told us that at night he can’t sleep because a man with grey skin comes and sits on his bed and keeps him awake talking to him.

“The first time it happened, Dagan’s mum Emma and I heard him crying on the baby monitor. I went up to him and he was just crying his eyes out. At first I thought it was just his imagination, or he had had a bad dream. Of course you never expect this kind of thing to be true, I’ve never believed in this kind of thing before. But there’s no denying it now. There have been times when we’ve been in the room with him and we see him looking up into the corner of the room and speaking.”

To us it really doesn’t sound so bad, but that probably depends on the topic of the night. Like if that ghost-guy was an accountant in life and he kept asking questions about our W-2, well we’d likely be tempted to join him on that side. If he wanted to talk about why John Locke should have won Lost, now that’s something we’d probably be able to live with.

We wish that family all the best, though. And we recommend they call Dan Aykroyd to see if he can’t suck the ghost up with a backpack vacuum.

Advice, after all, is all we have to give.

Repulsive pus hammock, Pete Doherty, has stopped injecting scabs into his arms just long enough to decide that he’s being haunted by the recently deceased Amy Winehouse. No. Honestly. That’s what he’s saying.

The former Libertine and Babyshambler was, of course, friends with Winehouse when she was alive. They probably shared a needle or ten while drinking Tenants Super while passing out in front of Cash In The Attic.

Anyway, he honestly believes that the late singer is visiting his London home in spectral form. Of course, Pete being the delusional dipstick that he is, he’s run off to Paris to get away from this apparition. Surely ghosts can travel to Paris if they’re able to come from the afterlife? Either way, The Ghost Of Winehouse is doing something brilliant – SLAGGING HIS WRETCHED, DERIVATIVE MUSIC OFF!

A close friend of Pete’s said:

“He is utterly convinced that he has seen her ghost. A lot of people will think his visions are probably drug-induced but he claims he is clean.”

Close Friend, you took the words right out of our mouths. Of course he’s hallucinating and back on the gear. Why else would he say something so outrageously idiotic?

It’s not like he’s got form in that field is i… oh.

Either way, Amy Winehouse’s ghost is giving Doherty dog’s abuse over his music, which is the just and true thing to do when faced with his spidery, syphilitic little hands scratching out some weedy, poetry 101 horsepiss on a battered acoustic guitar filled with stale semen.

Doherty has said in the past that he had written a song for Amy.

He said:

“Amy Winehouse asked me a while ago if I had written any new songs. I played her something, and when I had finished, she looked at me and said, ‘Is that it? Is that all you’ve got?’”

Brilliant. Now, can ghosts murder people? If so, Ghost Of Winehouse, you know what to do.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it

Ladies and gentleman, a modern day miracle has occurred, Holly Willoughby has been cured of her fear of ghosts, much to the delight of Phillip Schofield’s long dead career.

Willoughby, also affectionately known as the Willobooby, suffered from Spectrophobia (which it turns out is a genuine phobia and not a bad 70s sci fi series) so badly that she was once reduced to tears on the set of This Morning after a segment about ghostly apparitions.

Wooooooooooooo! *rattles chains*

So when the mighty miracle working Speakeman family rolled into town to show off their phobia curing skills Holly thought it might be best to get her phobia of imaginary apparitions cured on company time, because TV is all about the perks.

According to the site we nicked this story from, Willoughby said:

It’s witchcraft, I swear! The only way I can describe it is you almost can’t believe that you don’t have that fear anymore, because your body is so in the habit of making you look for ghostly things or almost testing you… just in case there’s something out there. So you test yourself and put yourself in these frightening situations.

There is something to be said for Holly choosing to tackle her paranormal fears head on, bravery like this is rarely seen nowadays, previously an admission of belief in the paranormal was left to the simple and the insane, as we saw in the cases of Danny, “I believe in UFOs,” Dyer and David, “the Lizard people are out to get me,” Icke respectively.

But we here at hecklerspray can’t help but wonder what these frightening situations Willoughby talks about are.

Standing next to Schofield, a man who had his hand up a gopher’s rear end for several years must be a bit off putting, but we’d hardly call it frightening. Does she just stand in the dark looking in a mirror and saying Bloody Mary twice before screaming and hiding under her duvet?

Nah, it must just be having to look at Fearne Cotton so often that she thinks is a frightening situation. It must be like looking into the eyes of Skeletor after a particularly banging Kooks gig.

That’s enough to freak anyone out.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Frederick Baker was an opera singer – and he loved his job. He enjoyed it so much, in fact, that he still shows up for work even though he’s been deceased for over a century. He died during a performance, you see, and opera house visitors who’ve never even heard of him claim to see his ashen figure still lurking about.

The stage is a popular place for ghosts, apparently. After all – just last week we told you about Michael Jackson’s spectre breaking up a sexy children’s nativity play.

This week we’re telling you about Frederick “Federici” Baker, a famed opera singer who kicked the bucket while playing the role of Mephistopheles. He was theatrically lowered into the very bowels of hell, as the script called for, and once there he gave up the ghost. The ghost, however, couldn’t give up the theatre.

As Wikipedia explains things:

“On the evening of 3 March 1888, the baritone Frederick Baker, known as “Federici”, was performing the role of Mephistopheles in Gounod’s opera Faust . This production ended with Mephistopheles sinking dramatically through a trapdoor returning to the fires of hell with his prize, the unfortunate Dr Faustus. The audience was spellbound. As the audience held its collective breath as Federici was lowered down through the stage into this basement, he had a heart attack and died immediately.”

And while he lay down there dying, activity on the stage carried on as usual. The cast took their final bow, the audience applauded and every husband in the audience was just glad their pain was over. That’s when the first sighting occurred:

Wikipedia gives us these goods as well:

“[Federici] never came back onstage, never took the bows. When the company was gathered together to be told that Federici had died, they asked, “When?”. Being told of what had happened at the end of the opera, they said, “He’s just been onstage and taken the bows with us.”"

Through the years others have seen Baker’s ghost floating around dressed in evening attire. Eighty years later, in fact, the ghoul was captured on film. According to Justin Murphy, a man who gave an interview on Australian TV:

“When this dramatised documentary was made by Kennedy Miller in the early 1970s, a photograph of the film set revealed an ashen-faced, partly transparent observer. No-one on the set saw the figure on that day. Only the photograph revealed it. It is one of many actual sightings.”

And that’s not all – a cleaning lady had an encounter too. Her name is Trina Dimovska, and this is what happened in her words:

“Something, I felt, bad behind me. It just touched my hair and my shoulders and my body on the back. And I just, like, frozen. I know what there is, because no-one was there – no human. Only me myself, because the theatre was closed.”

And that’s that. All poor Federici wanted to do was make his descent into hell completely believable, and he did so by sending his inner demon back on stage for the final curtain call.

Now that’s dedication.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Say what you will, but upon being embraced by the cold arms of death, we really don’t thing you’ll change much on the other side. Nerds will still be nerdy, the dull will still be dully, and Michael Jackson‘s ghost is still using incredibly sexy children as his playtime muses.

This time in Zimbabwe, according to a school full of witnesses.

Several Michael Jackson-y things have happened since the man died. For instance, his other glove turned up.

Plus somebody filmed him getting out of a hearse or something, and his brain got divorced from the inside of his skull (and then wasn’t invited to the funeral). On top of that – Larry King bravely discovered MJ’s ghost lurking around Neverland in a cameraman-ish sort of way, and toddlers everywhere have stopped waking up to the king of pop puffing on a cigarette.

If you think about it,  dead-Michael’s almost more socially relevant than live-Michael. That may be the opinion of millions of children putting on a nativity in Zimbabwe.

No really – look what it says on Paranormal.About.com:

The sighting of Jackson’s ghost occurred at the St Mary’s Mission School,a  Catholic institution, in Zimbabwe’s capital of Harare. Allegedly a group of students aged from twelve to fourteen years were sitting along with some of the nuns that work at St Mary’s and watching a nativity play that was organized after school hours.

Children dressed as Mary, Joseph and the Wise Men were on stage when suddenly the lights went out. Then ghost-like being appeared on stage waving a white-gloved hand. The terrified students emptied the hall along with the supervising nuns. Almost all the students later agreed that it was Michael Jackson that they saw. “It definitely was MJ” noted Theresa, a student at the school. “It was his face and his clothes. he smiled and waived at us.”

Theresa went on to say that as he waived, he did so in a way that seemed to be beckoning children into a van.

Theresa didn’t really say that. There is another real quote though – from a nun named Sister Maria:

“I saw it too. It was not human and must have been a spirit. The students later told me it was Michael Jackson.”

We think we know what’s going on here. Jackson died before he was able to stage his comeback tour on stage every other day in front of a collective millions of people. He died, of course, and he was never able to enjoy that limelite he craved so much. A Zimbabwean childrens’ stage is the first thing his spectre stumbled across, and he decided that would be good enough.

And you know what? Really that is good enough.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter

The day the forces of the undead and the deaddead join together in an unholy union has arrived. Live in fear, peons.

For you see, the recently (the other year) died-but-didn’t Amy Winehouse has been haunted by the ghost of the recently (the other month) died-but-did Michael Jackson.

But why did Jackson visit her, of all people? Why, to warn her of the dangers of drugs, obviously.

It would seem his spirit learned faster than his body did.

Following on from the life-changing news that Amy Winehouse (“nearly”) died in her ex-husband’s arms we were all fooled into believing it was Blake Fielder-Civil‘s advice that weaned her off the smackjuice.

How foolish we were to believe such a half-plausible thought.

No, it was actually Winehouse’s visit to a spirit medium during her self-imposed exile in the Caribbean that prompted her to really kick the habit.

According to a friend – the most reliable of sources, as we all know – and reported through the paper-we-didn’t-even-realise-was-still-going The People:

“She heard Michael’s voice telling her if she didn’t sort herself out she’d lose everything.”

Good advice from the deceased King of Pop, no doubt, but it does raise a couple of issues.

Firstly – Michael Jackson only died last month, and Amy Winehouse was away trying to sort herself for about a year. What this means is she was most likely doing a very poor job, having to not only wait until someone famous died, but also that they chose to come to her and instruct her to stop being a prat.

Secondly – it would seem like a bit of confusion from both parties in assuming an addiction to heroin and crack is the same as (an alleged) one to prescription painkillers. One is the result of psychological issues brought about by a physically and mentally scarring event in earlier life, whereas the other is the behaviour of a massive wanker. We’ll let you decide which is which.

It’s hard to actually accept this as anything but the insane ramblings of a few morons wanting to fill column inches (hello!), and some may argue that the world of spirits, mediums and hocus pocus is nothing but nonsensical garbage. Again though, we’ll let you decide what to think about Amy Winehouse‘s St Lucian adventure.

Nevertheless, it’s good to see the ghost of Jacko taking up a role in public speaking – we reckon he’ll really be able to heal the world from beyond the grave.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

When we think of hauntings there are two images that usually come to mind. The first is of a semi-transparent Bill Cosby from Ghost Dad trying to convince you yet again that Pudding Pops are delicious. Terrifying, right?

The second, from now on, is of a spectre picking up a 13-year-old boy and dragging him physically through his house – like what happened in this case…

Hecklerspray thought it saw a ghost once. It ended up though it was just a very dense toot our college roommate let slide after eating his weight in Taco Bell. Still, it was both ominous and frightening – especially when the cloud seemed to point at us after we mentioned Christmas in a negative light.

It’s nothing compared to what happened to this kid though – that’s because his encounter included getting dragged across the floor by something he couldn’t see, feel or, and we’re only assuming here, taste. Here’s a snippet as found on the Daily Mail:

“The 13-year-old was alone in their home in Hartlepool, when he claims he was suddenly pulled upright, dragged across the living room, and thrown out into the street. The incident, which happened on Monday, lasted five minutes before the startled teenager fled to a neighbour’s house.”

Well that sounds pretty scary – its not where it ends though. Here’s an elaborating quote from the boys mother Beverley Wilkins:

“Daniel told me he had been sitting on the sofa listening to music when he felt someone grab him and pick him up. His feet came off the floor and then someone started pushing him towards the living room door. Whatever it was then tried to push him into the kitchen. He said that the front door then flew open and he was grabbed by the arms again and pushed into the street. He did not see anyone throughout the whole thing but said it sounded like a man because of the heavy breathing.”

When the family regrouped they went back in to see if the coast was clear – it wasn’t. They heard a bunch of banging and foot steps coming from upstairs so they turned tail and ran. That night, with grandmotherly reinforcements, they went back in. Everybody stayed in the same room – three kids, a mother and a grandmother. The only oddity mentioned is that the smoke alarm mysteriously bleeped at some point.

Call us crazy, but a bleeping smoke alarm would have been enough reason for us to vacate again. Albeit more for us trying to avoid ever being labeled as ‘crispy’ than for fear of the transparent dead.

Ghost stories aren’t really rare at all. After all – Michael Jackson‘s already got some of his own. What is a little more rare are these stories of ghosts physically attacking people. And what’s with the heavy breathing? Do ghost breathe? Maybe it wasn’t a ghost – maybe it was more something like this. Or a tankless version of this.

We’ll only really know for sure once Hollywood buys this kid’s ‘based on a true story’ movie rights and eventually CGI a ghost snake floating out of his mouth.

Hollywood, please get your best people on this.

Retweet this post or follow us on Twitter here

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Surely everybody is pretty familiar with the concept of ghosts caught on tape appearing as orbs – little balls of light or some such. In that form ghostly spectres have been captured in photographs and on video pretty frequently. Rarely though, have the orbs ever appeared to actually attack the video camera.

They do here.

Hollywood has made exactly 21 movies that deal with the horror of ghost attacks. We’d name them all, and alphabetically too, but we really can’t be bothered. Plus – those are all fake attacks conducted mostly by stuntmen covered in a bed sheet with properly placed eye-slits. We hate reporting on fake ghost attacks – its something we’ve sworn off forever.

Because why waste precious typing strokes on them when there are apparently real ghost attacks to write about. This one happened in an old abandoned hotel/old abandoned nursing home. The second half of that slash, apparently, included an awful lot of death on the fifth floor. That’s the recipe for a good old fashioned haunting.

No really – Examiner.com will explain everything:

“Investigators covered all five floors of the hotel, along with the basement. While conducting an EVP session in one of the rooms, they heard footsteps in the hallway, although they were alone on the floor at that time. They also captured an interesting orb event on the remote DVR camera… The orb streaks down the hallway toward the camera; then, just as it reaches the camera, some type of electrical interference causes the camera image to warp and waver. The camera itself was not physically moved. Although [the investigators] understand that most orbs are dust, insects, or moisture they are at a loss to explain the unusual characteristics of this particular orb.”

We’ve got said video for you to enjoy right here, but before you click play you should know not to expect some incredible action sequence wherein the orbs are seen chasing things with chain saws, rabid cats and a pick axe. It’s pretty slow paced, actually – but still quite interesting when you think about what is going on there.

And so without further ado:

When Orbs Attack!

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Imagine, if you will, that you are a burglar of the utmost skill. You patiently search neighbourhood after neighbourhood looking for the perfect house to rob – and then you find one. There are at least ten newspapers on the front porch, mail is spilling out of the box and there are two cars in the driveway with at least a foot of snow covering the both of them.

You breeze on into their living room, fill a pillowcase with all their valuables – but then you can’t leave because a freaking ghost won’t let you.

Literally.

A Malaysian newspaper carried a story recently about a family that went on vacation. Well – actually it was more about what happened at their house while they were away.  There isn’t a lot available to give definitive specifics on the matter, but it’s crazy none the less.

You see, apparently a burglar picked their empty home for a looting. He went in, gathered up everything that wasn’t nailed down… then every time he tried to make it to the door he was pushed down by something only described as a ‘supernatural figure.’

MSNBC has a touch more:

“A burglar who broke into a house claims he was held captive by a “supernatural figure” for three days without food and water, officials said. Police official Abdul Marlik Hakim Johar told The Star newspaper the house’s owners found the 36-year-old man fatigued and dehydrated when they returned from vacation Thursday… The man told police that every time he tried to escape, a “supernatural figure” shoved him to the ground.”

That’s a fresh story too – MSNBC’s telling of it is dated Dec 13, 2008. We’ve used all our resources to search for more info on the matter, but who really understands that dewey decimal system anyway? Seriously – what’s with all those randomly placed dots? We always get frustrated and then walk away none-the-smarter for our experience.

Still, that’s right? The rest of the web is abuzz with the supernatural aspect of the story. not us – we’re more concerned with the fact that this demon creature seems to have seriously violated the burglar’s basic human rights.

Three days without food or water? That is completely unacceptable no matter what his hostage’s chosen profession. And what’s with tall the pushing? At most the banshee should have asked his victim not to leave in a semi-stern voice.

Hopefully more detail will emerge in the next few days – like what does the resident family think of the strangeness? And if it was new to them did they still move back in? See – these are the types of questions most of Malaysia absolutely refuses to ask.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

When you’re alone at night typing away on your computer, do you ever get the feeling that the ghost of the old lady who drowned in your bathtub two months before you moved in just wants you out? Are you ever awakened at night feeling pretty sure something is watching you from the depths of your closet – just behind your corduroy sports jacket?

Do you ever wonder if you’re crazy for wondering such things, and would you like some evidence of it that you can print out in a spreadsheet format? Well we’ve got news you may just like – technology exists that can pretty much count the entities in your house. And for a minimal fee plus shipping and handling you can find out once and for all.

Wink.

GhostRadar is super fancy technological equipment that, had it been around in the 80s, would have allowed us all to laugh at how primitive the Ghostbusters’ equipment really looked. It doesn’t let you catch ghosts, mind you, but it does tell you when they are present.

And if you believe absolute, concrete ghost-sensing ability could never be put within reach of science alone, don’t worry – each unit somehow gets blessed at a Shinto shrine. This, as far as we can tell, means spirits will somehow help your technology seek out ghosts. Sounds traitorous.

But enough from us. Here’s what it says right on the GhostRadar website:

“The ghosts may be behind you, watching everything you do. Or all around you, waiting, or trapped in an afterlife, or lost in a twist of time. Are they friendly, seeking a connection. Or are they just hungry. Well, whatever their intentions, the Ghost Radar and a small silver adhesive label have been purified at a Shinto shrine to help bring good fortune and keep evil spirits in check…

“GhostRadar has been developed by Solid Alliance and GRX, a virtual organisation that investigates energy fields and the paranormal. However, using technology to detect ghosts is an emerging expertise: there’s a lot to learn…”

Well that’s all well and good – but does it work? We have no idea. We’ve searched high and low for customer reviews and haven’t been able to find a single one. Perhaps that is because nobody has purchased one yet. Would you like to be first to do so? Then skip on over to their online store and make it happen.

But first you should think about it – if it does work, and you find out Abraham Lincoln has been in the shower every morning with you since you moved into your crusty, broken down apartment, is it really gonna make you feel any better once all doubt is removed?

We thought it would. This product was practically made for you.

If you were Elvis, and you were dead but all these fantastic songs kept popping into your head and you just had to let the public hear them, you’d probably possess the body of your chunky daughter to get the job done.

And while you inhabited that body you’d probably use its hands to wipe away all the sweat you didn’t know your little girl had to deal with every time she ate. Like father like daughter.

When you weren’t wiping away the sweat, though, you’d use her hands to record the most incredible music the world has ever known. hecklerspray‘s theory is that this is where we got Lisa Marie’s two solo records from. That’s why they’re written so impeccably from the perspective of someone who died from a severe over-consumption of hotdogs and chocolate cake. Think about it.

But speaking of Elvis’ ghost – Lisa Marie still speaks to Elvis’ ghost. Isn’t that interesting? We have their recent summed up conversation for you on the next page.

Lisa Marie Presley had some beautiful kids recently. She pushed them out of her butt, and lo and behold they were twins! Moments like that are probably enough to make her wish he poor dad was still alive to meet them.

Lucky for her, then, that there was a medium somewhere completely willing and able to get paid to contact Elvis on the other side to arrange for a formal introduction. According to the Daily Star, this is how the conversation went:

“I would know his energy anywhere and this was him, I have no doubt. Not only was it his voice, but I could also feel the exact same love that he gave me when I was a little girl. It was so overwhelming that I started to cry.

“The medium comforted me with his words by telling me he was proud of me, the babies were beautiful, he’s doing just fine on the other side, he watches over me. After I sort of got acclimatised to all this and dried my eyes, we had this amazing talk. The most comforting thing he told me is that even though he’s not here physically any more, he is still with me and he’ll watch over the babies too.”

Now we know what you’re thinking, but Presley Jr isn’t just some sucker. She didn’t walk in there ready to accept any ‘Elvis’ communication as being straight from dear old dad. She had some tests ready so the medium would be able to prove absolutely everything she said. Allegedly.

From what we gather the tests involves Lisa sitting in another room stabbing various foods to death and seeing if Elvis could identify them on the other side. He answered twinkies across the board, so his daughter knew what she was hearing was true. She knew she was talking to her father.

What a very special moment that must have been for everybody involved.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

George Jeffereys was born in 1665. He went on to eventually become a judge with a penchant for ordering hangings – hence his nickname The Hanging Judge. Needless to say – if you had a day in court you’d just hope it wasn’t him sitting under the presiding powder wig.

You’d probably want to see him even less now, as he’s said to be a ghost seen walking about England carrying a fistful of bloody bone.

At one point George Jeffreys was a simple judge who liked to see people swing if he thought they looked at all guilty of various things. He seemed to enjoy his job as he’s personally attend many of the hangings. Rope-related executions weren’t his only vice though – once he condemned a 70 year old woman to be burned at the stake. The sentence wasn’t exactly carried out – she ended up getting beheaded instead. Some say she’s now a headless spectre.

If so, she’s in good company – supposedly Jeffreys is a ghost now too. As a fellow named Tony Ellis explains things:

“The Great House is said to be haunted by the ghost of “Hanging Judge” George Jeffreys, who has been seen in the house, wearing his robes, wig and black cap, and carrying a bloody bone.”

And what other types of places, exactly, does he typically haunt, you surely must be asking. For this tidbit we give you another quote. Its from a website called Minehead Online:

“Judge Jeffreys attended many of the hangings in person, and his ghost is said to haunt several west country locations as well as his own home at Walton on Thames. Several towns had gallows trees for the victims including Croscombe in Devon. Twelve People were hung at Lyme Regis where Jeffreys dined in the Great House in Broad Street, a spot still troubled by his ghost even though the original house is long gone.

“He is said also to haunt a house in Lydford in Devon and a house in the centre of Dorchester. It is said that the sound of choking men rather than the ghost of the Judge is heard in some places. People have reported the sound of horrific gasping on quiet nights in Bath Street and the approaches to Gore Hedge in Frome.”

Its interesting to note that most of the people Jeffreys was hanging were rebels from The Battle of Sedgemoor. In the end he hid in some tower to avoid being hanged himself – and eventually died there.

His ghost has been used as a villain in more than one work of fiction, according to Wikipedia. Christopher Lee even played a Jeffreys-inspired character in a 1970 film called The Bloody Judge. We’re told the plot revolved around a hemophiliac who was staying in a cactus-filled hotel without any Band-Aids.

To come clean with you, that’s not actually the film’s plot. But if anyone wants to work with that concept we’d happily sell it for $25.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

This week: Ghosts/Myths

The Battle of Gettysburg was just what it sounds like – a military battle that took place in Gettysburg, PA. Surely you're familiar with it – Abraham Lincoln, Slavery, the Gettysburg Address… you know what we're talking about, right? Well in that battle probably millions of bullets flew.

Despite the massive quantities of metal whizzing all around, only one civilian died in the mess – Jennie Wade. She was making bread for some union troops when she was struck down. The house where she died is considered 'officially haunted,' by some groups allowed to dish out titles like that.

A great irony may be found in the fact that the Jennie Wade house never actually belonged to Jennie Wade. It belonged to her sister, and Wade fled there for safety during an epic battle. Apparently it wasn't safe enough. Wikipedia says:

"More than 150 bullets hit her sister's home before, around 8:30 a.m. on July 3, a Minié ball, traveling through the door, hit her in the back while she was kneading bread for Union soldiers. She groaned and was killed instantly."

Don't be tricked into believing it's Jennie's ghost that haunts her namesake – it's her father's spirit. This is far worse when you consider he was crazy enough to be interred in an mental asylum at least once during his life.

Jennie's body was kept in the basement until the battle was over and a burial site could be found. As we understand it, a mock-body now takes its place in the cellar. It's a mannequin or something. We're not exactly sure as we haven't seen it – but current Wade house management was sure to explain it all to us.

The insane ghost of Mr. Wade seems unable to tell the difference between his daughter's actual body and the fake one that now lays in its place to add to the creepy factor. As such, he feels it his duty to protect his daughter. Again, according to management, this includes actually swinging a chain on at least one house visitor that got too close.

Before you consider the outrageous claims to be nothing more than ticket sales enhancement – consider this quote from the Spirit Society of Pennsylvania. They investigated not too long ago:

"At the end of the self-guided tour through the house, we entered the basement, where a mannequin rests in the spot where Jennie's body lie, awaiting burial when the firing stopped.  Though [a fellow investigator named Kelly] "felt" nothing elsewhere in the house, [she] immediately noted a "crazy" male presence here.  We both noticed some curious cold spots, and after a few moments, decided to move on.  

"As I followed Kelly up the steps, something made me look back, and to my amazement, the long chain protecting the "death mannequin display" was swaying vigorously!  Uttering "Holy Shit" got Kelly's attention in time for her to also see this.  As it subsided, I wondered if somehow ascending the stairs had caused the movement, and tried in vain for several minutes to replicate it by stomping up and down the stairs. We also noted how, despite hearing several tractor trailers and busses rumble by on nearby Baltimore Street, the chain remained stationary."

Spooky, right? Well if you ever make it to the Jennie Wade house, make sure to stop by the gift shop and ask to see their photo album. Although there's currently no actual pictures of Crazy Wade's ghost, they have pictures of hundreds of orbs simultaneously floating in battlefields, and some pics of ghosts in human-like forms taken by staff, or by people on their haunted tours.

It really is something to see.

Read More:

Jennie Wade – Unsolved Mysteries.Com