The Strictly Come Dancing final takes place this Saturday, but poor old Gethin Jones – who was eliminated last week – won't be taking part.

Gethin Jones was voted off Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday night after getting just a teensy bit too big for his boots. It literally took Gethin Jones months to learn how to emote properly during a dance, but on Saturday his emotion warped into a horrible sort of self-parody – we can't even remember the dances that he did because we were too busy looking at all the weird faces that he and his Strictly Come Dancing partner kept making at each other. Unless the story of their dance really was about a gay vampire chasing a woman with brainfreeze, in which case it was uncanny.

Who'll win the Strictly Come Dancing final on Saturday? here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Matt Di Angelo, with help from Paddy Power…

Matt Di Angelo – Matt's Strictly Come Dancing meltdown has already entered the realms of the legendary, even though it's a bit of a crap legend about a boy turning left instead of right and then pulling a sad face. But Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing was Matt's time to answer his critics, and he first attempted to do this with an Argentine Tango to La Yumba, which mainly involved him standing completely still while his partner wiggled her legs around him, and then picking her up and holding her upside down at the end. It was a bit dull, but the Strictly Come Dancing judges seemed to think it was OK: "You came back fully loaded!" they screeched. Also, we think Matt Di Angelo got extra points under the 'wear clothes that rhyme with your name' rule, since Matt danced in a cravat. Let's all be thankful that his name isn't Mikini. SCORE – 35

And then Matt Di Angelo came back for his second Strictly Come Dancing performance, a waltz to Open Arms. And sweet baby Moses, was it ever meaningful. Stuffed to the brim with weighty glances into the middle distance, endless twirling and bits where Matt rubbed his partner's face like a blind man looking for the exit of a burning building. It was epic, like the final scene of a move, albeit a bit of a crap movie about a slightly smug dancing boy. And the Strictly Come Dancing judges piddled themselves stupid about it, even giving Matt a standing ovation and saying things like "winners never quit, quitters never win, and you've come out and given it a winning performance." And he got a perfect score for it, the bugger. SCORE – 40; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 2/1

Tomorrow – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Alesha Dixon. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Strictly Come Dancing is now a three-horse race, with just Matt Di Angelo, Gethin Jones and Alesha Dixon left to hoof it out for that ugly shiny ball-trophy thing.

And the pressure couldn’t be greater on the three of them to win Strictly Come Dancing, where they’ll join the esteemed ranks of Natasha Kaplinsky, Jill Halfpenny, Phil Tufnell, Joe Pasquale, Baby Spice and Leona Lewis as a Strictly Come Dancing champion. No, wait, did Baby Spice win Strictly Come Dancing? Or was it that four-year-old from EastEnders? Oh, we get so confused sometimes.

Anyway, who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, with help from Paddy Power…

Gethin Jones – So Gethin has finally got over his chronic Strictly Come Dancing fear of expressing emotion, but why? Could it be because he’s reportedly got together with Katherine Jenkins? Hardly – she’s got all the capacity for emotion as a moderately pretty shoebox. But, whatever the reason, it’s working for Gethin. Even though the only emotion he displayed throughout his first Strictly Come Dancing performance – an American Smooth to The Green Green Grass Of Home – was a slightly inept-looking grin. But after it was over, the Strictly Come Dancing judges lavished praise on the routine, saying that “On that performance, you’re in next week’s semi-final.” How did Gethin respond to this? By sweating like a bloody tourist, that’s how. SCORE – 38

And if anyone still needed convincing of Gethin’s new-found confidence, it was right there for everyone to see during his second Strictly Come Dancing performance of the night – a Jive to Knock On Wood. Jittery, energetic, containing more enthusiastic high-fives than a 1980s recruitment consultant team-building meeting hosted by Tom Cruise, the rouine was so hyperactive that Gethin even ended up melting his own trousers. If that’s a sign of his growing cockiness, then there’s every chance that Gethin Jones will somehow manage to melt his own knickers off next week. Anyway, the Strictly Come Dancing judges predictably loved it, saying that “I’m very excited. I absolutely loved that routine. Brilliant.” SCORE – 37; Current Scrictly Come Dancing betting odds – 11/10

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Alesha Dixon. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

We knew the day was coming when Kenny Logan would be voted off Strictly Come Dancing, and yet it still killed us to see it happen.

Nothing could stop Kenny Logan being eliminated from Strictly Come Dancing – not his partner variously trying Gordon The Gopher around her wrist and using Kenny as a burly stripper’s pole, and certainly not Kenny aiming to express ‘romance’ and ending up looking like a recently-neutered bear who was sad because he missed his balls. Strictly Come Dancing won’t be the same without you, Kenny Logan. But that’s mostly because everyone left can actually dance.

But now that Kenny Logan is no longer a part of Strictly Come Dancing, who’s going to win? Here’s part one of this week’s Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – for Matt Di Angelo and Gethin Jones – with help from Paddy Power…

Matt Di Angelo – Last week was particularly hard on Matt Di Angelo because not only did he have two separate dances to learn – a Tango to What You Waiting For and a Rumba to Get Here – but he also had to learn lines for EastEnders too, and we all know how hard it is to remember how to snivel in a prison properly, don’t we? All this work seemed to affect Matt somehow, because right after his jerky, comedy double-taking first dance he suddenly got all grit-toothed and red-eyed like he was either going to start crying or stab Bruce Forsyth to death. Not that he needed to, of course – the Strictly Come Dancing judges loved it, saying that it was “strong, proud – you’re like a snarling lion,” albeit a snarling lion that looks like it’s about to do a wee-wee in its knickers. SCORE – 32.

Matt’s Strictly Come Dancing Rumba, on the other hand, saw all of his self-doubt evaporate, but that was mainly because he was so busy concentrating on rubbing his own nipples. A quick time-honoured ‘walk away from each other and rush back’ ending and it was all over. This time the Strictly Come Dancing judges described the routine like this: “Performance: great, your acting: fantastic, but you have to lubricate the hips!” but even the praise wasn’t enough to stop Matt Di Angelo clearly muttering the word ‘fuck’ to himself afterwards, the naughty little bugger. SCORE – 33; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 9/2

Gethin Jones – All through Strictly Come Dancing, Gethin Jones has struggled to learn the concept of having a personality, so last week an acting coach was hired to try and teach him how to display affection. And how did all this translate itself to Gethin’s first Strictly Come Dancing performance, a Waltz to If I Were A Painting? Well, it mostly made Gethin wipe his nose all over his partner’s face like she was made of Kleenex and blink a little bit slower than usual. And this was what the Strictly Come Dancing judges wanted all along, who said it was “graceful, fluid, romantic – you melted my heart. The most outstanding and commendable improvement of anyone in the competition.” SCORE – 39.

So Romantic Gethin was a winner, clearly, but what about Latin Gethin? Well, the acting coach certainly did a good job on teaching him how to act like a toddler in the middle of a three-day Haribo binge, because his Salsa to Azucar was stuffed with all kinds of dizzyingly overconfident spinning and grinning and sliding and waggling, and it was enough for the Strictly Come Dancing judges to start calling him “the loin king.” The loin king? He’s a children’s TV presenter. Urgh. SCORE – 35; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 4/1

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Letitia Dean. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Sooner or later the Strictly Come Dancing contestants are going to have to learn that anyone who throws an on-camera strop will get voted out – just like Dominic Littlewood and, on Saturday’s show, John Barnes.

John Barnes: brilliant when he’s asked to do a Strictly Come Dancing latin dance, but useless if he’s asked to do a Strictly Come Dancing ballroom dance. Everyone knows that. But that theory took a beating on Saturday, when John’s Samba to Sir Juke was all flabby and out of shape. Sure, he wiggled his hips around like he was trying to loosen up a colon-impacted turd, but nothing more. And as well as the technique being a bit out, John Barnes also made the routine look roughly as fun as regrouting a mid-sized bathroom. And then threw a wobbly when he got crap scores. No wonder he got eliminated.

But who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing if John Barnes isn’t? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, Letitia Dean and Kelly Brook, with help from Paddy Power…

Gethin Jones – Now then, Gethin Jones might only be as expressively sexy as a month-old Pot Noodle, but you can’t deny that he isn’t clever. After weeks and weeks of getting a hammering by the Strictly Come Dancing judges for not being sexy enough, on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing he chose to do a Quickstep to You’re The Top – a dance where all romance is flung out in favour of hoofing around like Bambi with epilepsy all the time. However, even though the only emotion the dance allowed him to express was a sort of exhausted bewilderment, Gethin Jones still got it in the neck from the Strictly Come Dancing judges for not showing enough personality, saying that he should have shown “a bit more gaiety or fun.” And they’ve got a point – we’ve seen balsa wood sculptures of gravel with more personality than Gethin Jones when he’s dancing. SCORE – 34; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 8/1

Letitia Dean – Letitia Dean has two kinds of dance-modes; the one where she looks all graceful and serene, and the one that finishes with Letitia looking like she’s been chased up a mountain by a pack of hungry dogs that’ve mistaken her for a sausage. And on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, Letitia Dean managed to combine the two – she did a nimble Viennese Waltz to She’s Always A Woman and got so out of breath in the process that she could barely speak. Best of all, Letitia Dean managed to complete the dance with the sort of perfectly fixed, lobotomised rictus grin that not even a harrowing humanitarian atrocity could shift from her face. That was what the Strictly Come Dancing judges must have wanted, though, because they told Letitia that “Altogether, I thought it was absolutely fantastic.” By and large, Letitia Dean is the best improved dancer since the first show, which officially makes her Strictly Come Dancing‘s Leon Jackson. And, no, we don’t think that’s such a great plaudit either. SCORE – 32; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 28/1

Kelly Brook – Kelly’s whole week had a celebratory theme to it prior to Saturday’s Samba to Staying Alive. For a start it was her birthday, so she had a party that Billy Zane conspicuously didn’t attend, and then she followed it up by making her dance routine so universally wedding receptiony that it only really needed a crying girl, a drunken punch-up and a disappointing meal to complete the illusion. Once the routine was over – something signalled by Brendan Cole dropping Kelly on the back of her skull – the Strictly Come Dancing judges let rip: “My high expectations have fallen as hard as a lead balloon,” they ranted, and we think we have to agree – unless Kelly perks up her ideas, her chances of winning Strictly Come Dancing are all but over. Not that Kelly Brook will be too upset by that – at least it’ll mean she can add ‘failed dancer’ to the ‘failed TV presenter’ and ‘failed actress’ that’s already on her CV. SCORE – 29; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 6/1

Tomorrow – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kenny Logan, Matt Di Angelo and Alesha Dixon. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

It’s a weird thought, that Strictly Come Dancing will happen tomorrow without Kate Garraway plonking around like a woman without any knees – it’s almost like the Strictly Come Dancing judges are winning.

We can’t let this happen. It’s a little-known fact that when a bad dancer is voted off Strictly Come Dancing, a fairy dies. And is that what you want? Is it? Dead fairies all over the place? No, of course not. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep Kenny Logan in Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow. Yes, the judges will all go bright purple if he isn’t voted out and, yes, he’s very obviously useless at dancing. But Kenny Logan represents the underdog in all of us, and to vote him out would be to succumb to the bullies, to the bosses, to everyone who’s ever held you back in life. Plus he dances like an idiot and it’s funny.

Who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, John Barnes, Alesha Dixon and Matt Di Angelo, with betting odds from Paddy Power…

Gethin Jones – All through Strictly Come Dancing Gethin Jones has had problems expressing passion; although he’s roughly as passionate as a box of three-week-old sawdust, his partner and the Strictly Come Dancing judges all want him to be able to break hymens on sight. Could he manage this with his Rumba to Lost on Saturday’s show? Nope – even though he had an untied bowtie around his neck, all Gethin could manage was a small amount of forehead-touching. That’s a slight improvement on last week’s wink, so there’s still hope for Gethin yet – maybe in about a million years he’ll actually be ready for full sex. The Strictly Come Dancing judges were disappointed too, and marked the dance like a bunch of pensioners who’d misplaced their viagra, telling Gethin that “That was well executed, everything was there, but it lacked the lady killer instinct.” So that’s what Gethin needs to do – murder more ladies. SCORE – 31; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 6/1

John Barnes – Give John Barnes some latin rhythms to dance to and he’ll jolt about like someone’s replaced his lower spine with an electric whisk, but make him do a ballroom dance and he’s rubbish. On Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, John Barnes did a ballroom dance – a Tango to Dance With Me – so you can probably guess how it went. Apparently the secret to the Tango is all about performance, and anyone who remembers John Barnes’ 1990 advert for Lucozade Sport knows that performance isn’t his strong suit. This was amply reinforced during his routine, where John was concentrating so hard on stopping his hip from spazzing out that all trace of personality was beaten to the ground. The Strictly Come Dancing judges were equally unimpressed, saying “I felt nothing when you did this dance.” Poor lambs. SCORE – 28; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 40/1

Alesha Dixon – It’s getting harder and harder to remember that Alesha Dixon was once in a vaguely urbanish girlgroup who released an album that – we think – was all about how much they liked deviant sexual practises involving tongues and anuses, because on Strictly Come Dancing Alesha Dixon is near-perfect week after week after week. On Saturday, Alesha’s Waltz to A Time For Us was typically flawless and she managed to nail it both technically and emotionally, getting an impossibly high score and leaving the Strictly Come Dancing judges almost speechless: “Floaty, fluid, flawless – I was carried away and I forgot where I was” they said. Alesha Dixon is far and away the favourite to walk off with the Strictly Come Dancing title this year, and that’s the way it’ll stay unless she decides to revisit her arse-tonguing past onstage in the coming weeks. SCORE – 38; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 8/15

Matt Di Angelo – Having barely survived the Strictly Come Dancing dance-off in the previous show, Matt Di Angelo knew he had it all to play for on Saturday’s show, which is why he chose to do an eye-meltingly complicated Quickstep to Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby. Leaping about like a gazelle having its hooves shot at by a grizzled old cowboy, Matt somehow overcame the impossible and managed to pull off the whole routine without getting his legs caught around his neck and choking himself to death. And because he didn’t end up kicking himself in the eye, Matt was justly rewarded by the Strictly Come Dancing judges, who told him that “That was the most difficult and complex choreography we’ve ever seen on show.” More than that, being in a dance-off also forced Matt to add some humility to the routine, which is why, for the first time, we didn’t want to slap him in his silly little face during the dance. We know. We’re sorry. SCORE – 34; Current Strictly Come Dancing – 5/1

Next week – X Factor betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Penny Penny Penny, when will you learn? On Strictly Come Dancing Penny Lancaster has shown that if she put her hair up and danced an old-fashioned ballroom dance she’d sail through the elimination process easily.

So what did Penny Lancaster do on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing? She let her hair down and tried to be energetic, that’s what. On Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, Penny decided to dance the Salsa to something that may as well have been Agadoo for all the bloody good it did her. Aiming for ‘vivaciously sexy’ and ending up with something appropriating ‘epileptic woman being exorcised at a disco’, Penny’s bewildering effort left the Strictly Come Dancing viewers wondering if her remote control vibrator was somehow stuck on the ‘destroy’ setting. Needless to say that Penny Lancaster is now out of Strictly Come Dancing for good.

But without Penny Lancaster, who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, Matt Di Angelo, Kate Garraway and Letitia Dean, with betting odds from Paddy Power…

Gethin Jones – Over the course of Strictly Come Dancing so far, Gethin Jones has had trouble acting in a sexy way, partially because his day-job involves making pencil holders out of bog roll – but on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing it all came together thanks to Gethin’s Viennese Waltz to Falling. That’s a dance that requires grace rather than overt sexiness, so Gethin could dance normally without worrying that he had to dry-hump anyone’s face, while any sexiness came from his partner rolling around in his arms at the beginning and end like she was having a full-on orgasm. That was noticed by the Strictly Come Dancing judges, who pointed out that “Camilla melted in his arms like whipped cream in a coffee” – which presumably meant that Gethin also sustained extensive scalding to his arms, torso and balls in the process. SCORE – 36; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 5/1

Matt Di Angelo – Since Strictly Come Dancing began, Matt Di Angelo has proved that he can jig around like a sparkly ninja, but on Saturday the question was whether or not he could waltz. And the answer was ‘not without pulling a face like a gay duck mildly disapproving of something’. But Matt Di Angelo’s monstrous ego at least afforded him the self-confidence to at least look like he was pulling it off, adding a cheeky half-grin at the end of his Viennese Waltz to When A Man Loves A Woman that, if Strictly Come Dancing was a Disney film, would have summoned a group of whistling bluebirds to land on his shoulders. But were the Strictly Come Dancing judges pleased with Matt’s routine? They told him that “you have to focus. Nail the routine so that it comes naturally,” which we think is a yes. Or a partial yes. Oh, we don’t care. SCORE – 29; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 9/2

Kate Garraway – Much was made of the Foxtrot that Kate Garraway rolled out the week before Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing because it was the first time that Kate had shown she didn’t have two left feet – or one left foot and a foot-shaped clump of kebab meat – and her Salsa to Peanut Vendor on Saturday was her chance to gain even more ground on her competitors. Did it work? Did it eff. So self-conscious that she looked like she was going to vomit, Kate Garraway spent so much time away from her partner trying to dance on her own that she looked completely lost. And completely robotic. And completely drunk. The Strictly Come Dancing judges, as you may have guessed, weren’t impressed, saying of the routine that “I’ve never seen less convincing sexiness. Not good.” So speaks a man who’s never seen Imogen from Big Brother‘s sex tape. SCORE – 18; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 50/1

Letitia Dean – Last week Letitia Dean celebrated her 40th birthday. And, like all 40-year-olds, Letitia suddenly found herself dancing like someone’s mad old auntie with a rare motor-skill disorder at a wedding reception at 2am. On the surface, Letitia’s Strictly Come Dancing Salsa to Pastime Paradise was decent enough – there was no violently leering sex face this time and she managed to finish the dance without looking like she’d just run a marathon in lead stilettos – but the Strictly Come Dancing judges pulled Letitia up for her lack of hip action, telling her that the dance was “about as latin as a bag of frocks on the market stall.” At which point Letitia Dean burst into an uncontrollable flood of tears, which is something else all 40-year-olds do, we’re told. SCORE – 25; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 22/1

Tomorrow - the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kenny Logan, John Barnes, Kelly Brook and Alesha Dixon. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

On Saturday tiny wee slaphead Dominic Littlewood was the latest semi-celebrity to get voted off Strictly Come Dancing, which seemed to come as a surprised to nobody except Dominic Littlewood himself.

Dominic Littlewood's stock in trade – apart from his ability to haggle three pence off the price of a new car on daytime TV – is his cheekiness. However, that went on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing because he was dancing a Paso Doble to El Gato Montez, which apparently called for lots of marching around like a midget Hitler out of time to the music while dressed as a gay Libertine. But, as you may have expected, the most convincing part of Dominic Littlewood's performance came when he had an embittered tantrum about how nobody likes him afterwards. Even Bruce Forsyth started slating Dominic at one point, and his tolerance for awfulness is so high that he counts Jimmy Tarbuck as a friend.

Who's going to win Strictly Come Dancing? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kelly Brook, John Barnes, Letitia Dean, Gethin Jones and Kenny Logan, with help from Paddy Power…

Kelly Brook – After Brendan Cole committed the mortal sin of picking Kelly Brook up three times instead of twice on a previous Strictly Come Dancing, the pair of them have become the resident sequinny rebels, and this is something that Kelly seized upon by deciding that she'd break the rules and dick about with a cape during her Paso Doble to You Give Love A Bad Name, when traditionally it's the job of the man. And predictably the Strictly Come Dancing judges reacted as if Kelly Brook had shat in their tea, yelling things like "Do a proper dance with stuff I can see" at her. We can see why they were angry – while Kelly titted about with the cape it didn't give Brendan much to do aside from waggle his hands around like an end-of-the-pier magician getting ready to pull a dove out of his arse. Disappointing. SCORE – 28; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 3/1

John Barnes – We're honestly worried that John Barnes' talent-sac is kept in his gut because the more weight he loses, the worse he gets at dancing. It's true – although the rehearsals for his Strictly Come Dancing Foxtrot to My Guy saw John Barnes slapping his head and shouting "Come on!" like a mentally ill person trying to get the voices in his head to stop chanting the word "kill" at him over and over again, the actual dance wasn't particularly good. Boring, forgettable, generic, there's a chance that John Barnes is now getting so thin that he's starting to half-vanish like the photos in Back To The Future. The Strictly Come Dancing judges thought so too, calling the routine "laboured." Let's make a pact; to improve John Barnes' Strictly Come Dancing chances, the first person to see him this week has to force-feed him an entire roast chicken. Deal? SCORE – 24; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 40/1

Letitia Dean – Since the Paso Doble is a dramatic dance, Letitia Dean vowed early on in training for Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing that she'd need to use her acting skills for her routine to Live And Let Die. Since we're fully aware that the only acting skill Letitia Dean is capable of involves pouting at Grant Mitchell while looking like she's trying to solve a particularly difficult math equation in her head, we assumed that she'd be screwed come the actual dance. But we were wrong – she performed her routine with all the fire and spit of a spoilt six-year-old demanding that her parents take her to Disneyland. And that's a lot of fire and spit. The Strictly Come Dancing judges loved Letitia's routine too, saying it was "full of attitude, full of authority." But secretly we think they gave her a high score because the dance marked the return of Letitia's 'breathless pervert' face, which they all missed last week. SCORE – 31; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 10/1

Gethin Jones – Gethin Jones has been receiving a lot of stick from the Strictly Come Dancing judges for not sexing his routines up very much. And, fearing that on Saturday we'd see Gethin dressed up as a serial sex-offender with a three-foot veiny codpiece, we were sort of relieved that he mostly ignored their advice to perform a Foxtrot to Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue, the sole hint of sexiness being Gethin's reticent wink at the end. Only sort of relieved, mind you – the routine was still so painfully unspectacular that it would have trouble standing out in a roomful of vapour. But what do we know – the Strictly Come Dancing judges seemed to enjoy it enough, telling Gethin "you did that beautifully." Yet it still wasn't enough to break Gethin out of his mid-table mediocrity. Maybe he really should break the codpiece out next week. SCORE – 31; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 8/1

Kenny Logan – Let's not beat about the bush here, Kenny Logan is the only reason any of us watch Strictly Come Dancing any more, because his dances are so brain-meltingly graceless that they're the single-most entertaining thing about the whole show. Take Kenny Logan's Strictly Come Dancing Paso Doble to Take Me Out, for instance – it's like he'd mistaken read that the entire history of the Paso Doble was based on the story of Kratos from God Of War because at one point Kenny stopped hurling his partner about like a rag doll to – and we swear this is true – summon up power from the heavens. The Strictly Come Dancing judges rolled out the usual criticism you'd expect, saying that it was "too aggressive" and that it lacked finesse, but we don't care about any of that. Also, Kenny Logan was dancing in a sleeveless top and sparkly kilt, too, which made the whole thing look like the deleted rape scene from Starlight Express. SCORE – 21; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 80/1

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Alesha Dixon, Kate Garraway, Matt Di Angelo and Penny Lancaster. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

It’s the next edition of Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow, and everyone wants to know whether there’ll be another shock result like last week, and also whether everyone is going to react as if their children died like last week too.

Having said that, the shock Strictly Come Dancing exit of Gabby Logan last week was fairly entertaining, not least because Len Goodman – a man who sat stony-faced when that Osmond woman collapsed in front of her recently – has turned into the world’s most furious man because the public didn’t vote properly. So let’s try and get another favourite out tomorrow, because we get the feeling Len might squirt his brain out of his nose in disgust if we do.

Who’ll be the next to leave Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kelly Brook, Gethin Jones, Letitia Dean, Penny Lancaster and Matt Di Angelo, with help from Paddy Power…

Kelly Brook - Throughout Strictly Come Dancing, all Kelly Brook has basically done is frenziedly dry-hump her partner in weeny little scraps of fabric, but on Saturday she got to do an American Smooth to (Love Is) The Tender Trap, and that meant she got to slowly dry hump her partner in a slightly larger scrap of fabric. And, we have to admit, it wasn’t bad, and could have got a perfect score if only her crazed wildcard rebel bad boy of a dancing partner Brenden Cole hadn’t broken the important ‘two lifts only’ rule. And, much like fellow rule-breaker Jesus Christ, Brenden got punished for it by the otherwise-impressed Strictly Come Dancing judges: “You put three lifts in, and the rules are only two. That performance could’ve been a ten, and now we’ll have to mark it down.” SCORE – 34; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 50/1

Gethin Jones – Gethin honestly has one of the hardest jobs on Strictly Come Dancing – as a children’s TV presenter he can’t really allow himself to do anything too sexual for fear of kickstarting some awful pre-pubescent sexual awakening across the land. As such, all of Gethin Jones’ Strictly Come Dancing routines – like Saturday’s samba to More Than A Woman – have all the spark of a drizzly day in Milton Keynes sponsored by bromide. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t terrible – it was just there, and the Strictly Come Dancing judges could barely find anything to say about it, peaking at “No bounce whatsoever, sadly, and your voltas were absolutely terrible.” They could replace Gethin with a slab of meat on a skateboard next week and we don’t think anyone would really notice. SCORE – 26; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 18/1

Letitia Dean – If dancing is a reflection of sexual performance, then sex with Letitia Dean must be terrifying, purely because of the ‘raunchy’ face she pulls when she dances an energetic routine – it makes her look like an out of breath apple leering at a field of cows. But on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing Letitia got to do an American Smooth to Makin’ Whoopee, which meant she didn’t have to pull the scary sex face very often. As a result, the Strictly Come Dancing judges didn’t shudder so much and actually seemed to enjoy it: “A touch of class with a sprinkle of camp always works – just watch the shoulders.” SCORE – 31; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 7/1

Penny Lancaster – On the previous Strictly Come Dancing, Penny Lancaster messed up her routine badly enough to stop being a contender on the show, so this week she came back to a samba to These Boots Are Made For Walking with the purpose of proving a point. That point admittedly seemed to be that she could a) walk provocatively while shaking her boobs and b) wear less clothes than anyone else, but she proved it anyway, booby-shaking and buttock-displaying her way back into the running again – which we’re hoping isn’t a plan that Dominic Littlewood plans to use at any point. Anyway, it impressed the Strictly Come Dancing judges and no mistake: “there will be weeks where a certain dance doesn’t suit you, as we saw last week. There’ll be other weeks where the dance is right up your alley, and that was one.” SCORE – 32; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 10/1

Matt Di Angelo – Our worst fears are coming true. Matt Di Angelo, a boy so self-satisfied that he probably leaves a trail of slime wherever he goes – is actually getting good at Strictly Come Dancing. After his American Smooth to For Once In My Life, the Strictly Come Dancing judges said to Matt that he was “absolutely fantastic. Debonair, smooth, nice hands. I loved it!” That’s clearly the completely wrong thing to say to someone like Matt Di Angelo because he’ll probably start turning up to the studio in a throne-like sedan chair carried by slave boys now. No, the way to control Matt Di Angelo is to break his spirit with insults. And, if need be, iron rods. SCORE – 36; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds -33/1

Next week: back to X Factor betting odds – But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.