Articles tagged with: George Lucas
For once it would appear that there's some good news about Shia LaBeouf - both with regards to his mangled hand and his movie career. In news sure to bring a smile to The Beef's little face, it turns out that his recent car accident will not result in the amputation of his little finger, as has been reported all over the world of the superstars these last couple of days. While the rumours were rampant that Shia himself had told producers on Transformers 2 that he would have to have his Beef pinky removed, these have been greeted by his rep as being 'fabricated' and 'totally untrue'. Which is good for him. What's good for everyone else in the world, though, is the news that George Lucas has seemingly gone back on his original statement that Shiny McBeef would be the new Indiana Jones. For the first time in what would appear to be an absolute age, Lucas seems to have made 'the right decision'. Obviously he followed it up with another bad decision immediately thereafter, but you have to really learn to love those small victories.
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull was nobody's idea of a good film - something that could be said of any movie featuring a man in a fridge in a nuclear explosion. So the received wisdom would be for George Lucas to just quietly retire Indiana Jones; to let him remain in our minds as the star of one good film, two mediocre films and one really terrible film. But this is George Lucas we're talking about, so that obviously isn't going to happen. In a recent interview with The Times, George Lucas discussed various options for Indiana Jones 5 - a movie that looks certain to be made. Our favourite option? The one where George Lucas takes a knock to the head, forgets what Indiana Jones even is and never makes another film ever again. Please.
George Lucas has come up yet with another plan to convince you to hand over your hard earned money to him. After he made millions with Indiana Jones 1, he sat down for a while, thought about what to do next and came up with Indiana Jones 2. It worked. But what next? He sat down for a while, thought about what to do next and came up with Indiana Jones 3. Incredible. How was he to beat that? It wasn't easy. For twenty years he brooded, furrowing his brow and scratching his little beard, and finally his eureka moment came: Indiana Jones 4. But, people asked, what about the fact that Indiana Jones will be far too old? Don't worry, said George, if we make jokey references to it throughout the film no one will care. Wow, he's good. What next? George says 'how about Indiana Jones...5, with Shia Labeouf as the lead?' Time to retire George.
If The Empire Strikes Back had culminated with Luke Skywalker suing in a court of law to get his hand back, then that movie would have been more of a legal drama than a sci-fi fantasy. That's just something we've been thinking about. The jury could have been made up of those blue guys that play the flute and maybe a cute banana with eyeballs that roll back in his head when he’s hungry or scared. Now picture that banana on a lunch pale. Money. That's money right there. We’re 90% sure that’s going to be the premise for the upcoming live action Star Wars TV series. Luke finally gets his hand back in the second season and from then on he stores it safely in a split-open tauntaun. We just ruined the season-one cliff-hanger finale for you. A thousand apologies. A cliff-hanger we won’t ruin for you is that George Lucas is currently suing some guy for making Storm-trooper armour and selling it without permission – and that guy ends up being George’s father. Sorry. 1,000 apologies.
People love Star Wars and Indiana Jones so much that George Lucas never has to have another original thought for the rest of his life.
And it's an offer he's been keen to exploit. This year George Lucas has a new Indiana Jones movie coming out and a new Star Wars movie coming out, plus he's got a 100-episode Star Wars TV show in the pipeline. And the time has come for George Lucas to spout off about all of this at once.
In a nutshell, then - George Lucas expects everyone to hate Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, doesn't really seem too fussed with the new Star Wars movie and has compared the TV show to The Wire. Yay! Possibly.
We're going to need two helpers - one to tape up George Lucas while we hold him down, and another one to force a snooker ball into his mouth.
We're not violent people, but it looks like this might be the only way to stop George Lucas from making Star Wars movies. Three years after he promised that Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith would be the last Star Wars film, George Lucas has announced that an animated movie called Star Wars: The Clone Wars will be released in August.
Rubbish, we know - but at least Star Wars: The Clone Wars won't have Ewan McGregor in it, so you won't feel the urge to stand up, run down the aisle of the cinema and start smacking at the screens with your fists this time. Oh, who are we kidding, yes you will.
