Folded:

• Online teaser for Oliver Stone’s George Bush biopic W (mock the man)
• The Bowen Identity (even piss poor Photoshop skills can make you funny)
• Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (seen it, and it’s pretty good)
• David McCallum (if you’ve played GTA IV and heard the track The Edge, you’ll know why Dre immortalised it and why McCallum is such a fusion legend. Yes, he also done some acting too)
• WALL-E (look at his little face, how could you not love Wall-E?)

Creased:

• Topman gift cards (they might look all black and trendy, but you can’t see how much you have left to spend! Bring back paper vouchers)
• Sasha: Beauty Queen at Eleven (this girl’s mum should be chopped up and fed to hungry pitbulls. The dad too for letting this spectacle happen right under his nose)
• The hard-to-penetrate world of Metal Gear Solid 4 (don’t misunderstand us, this is a great game: great graphics, sound, presentation – it’s just completely incomprehensible unless you know the Metal Gear mythology inside out)
• More fake tan woes (Jesus, girls, take it off! You smell like Digestives in this heat)
• Playing GRID online (and the barrage of insults from French people that comes with it)

According to reports, Michael Moore is preparing ground to make a sequel to his 2004 anti-George Bush documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. The new movie has a working title of Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2, although it’s expected that Michael Moore will formally change it to Fahrenheit 9/11: Nyer Nyer Nyer I Was Right All Along Let’s Hear It For Michael Moore I’m The Best I’m The Best nearer the release date.

Anyway, will this new Michael Moore documentary succeed where Fahrenheit 9/11 failed and push George Bush out of office for good? Even better than that – George Bush is going to stop being president about six months before Moore’s film is released. Hooray! Another righteous victory for Michael Moore!

You might think that this is a good time to be Michael Moore what with the impending election and the ongoing Iraq war and whatnot, but it really isn’t. There’s a fairly strong chance that either a woman or a black man will become the next president of America, bringing with them a sweeping agenda of Democrat-based reform. And the second that happens, Michael Moore is effed.

Michael Moore has made a career out of ranting at the American government, about everything from gun control to its lack of universal healthcare to what a shit George Bush is. But if a Democrat is elected president in November, all the things Michael Moore likes to bitch about might just be fixed. It’s a scary prospect, and it leaves Michael Moore with two options:

1) He could start making bombastic, suspiciously-edited, simultaneously doomy and patronising documentaries about whatever irks him the most in a post-Bush world, like Is It Me Or Did Cadbury’s Creme Eggs Used To Be Bigger? and The Woman In Front Of Me In The Post Office Queue Smells Vaguely Like Dog Food, or

2) He could just keep making films about what a crap president George Bush was.

Guess which one he’s going to do. Go on, guess. OK, here’s the Los Angeles Times to tell you:

Michael Moore is plotting a follow-up to his 2004 documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11.” Although the film is being kept under wraps, it is said that Moore plans to pick up where he left off four years ago, to examine the fallout from  eight years of the  Bush administration’s policies. Moore is beginning production on the documentary “immediately,” according to studio reps. Moore’s follow-up to “Fahrenheit 9/11,” referred to informally in some circles as “Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2,” is expected to be released in mid-2009.

What with Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 sequel and Oliver Stone’s George Bush biopic, it seems like we’re going to be inundated with movies showing us all the ways that George Bush messed everything up pretty soon. Which is more than Jimmy Carter ever got. Eat that, Carter.

Of course, what’ll be most interesting to see is what Michael Moore does after this Fahrenheit 9/11 sequel. George Bush has been good business for him, so it hardly makes economic sense for Michael Moore to shut down that avenue entirely – especially when Bush looks set to leave such a suspect legacy behind him.

So here’s to Michael Moore quickly making Fahrenheit 9/11 2, Fahrenheit 9/11 3 and the direct-to-DVD Fahrenheit 9/11 4: He Never Even Rinsed Out The Sink After Shaving Either, The Bastard as soon as possible.

Read more:

Cannes ‘08: Michael Moore plots sequel to ‘Fahrenheit 9/11′ – LA Times

But let's concentrate on the president bit for the time being, because Oliver Stone says that he's got a script written about George Bush, and he's itching to get it turned into a movie before Bush stops being president.

Stone's film is thought to hinge on some of the most difficult decisions George Bush ever had to make, primarily the seminal three-day deliberation on whether pretzels go down your food hole or your air hole. History has already taught us his findings on that matter.

If you're a president of America, there are certain things that you can look forward to. All-consuming power, for one, plus a school will probably end up naming a library after you when you're almost dead or something. But best of all, Oliver Stone will probably end up making a film about your life.

So far, John F Kennedy and Richard Nixon have both got the Oliver Stone treatment, with eagerly-anticipated William H. Harrison and Calvin Coolidge biopics on their way as soon as Oliver Stone has run out of any better ideas. And since Oliver Stone's 'better ideas' include both Alexander and World Trade Center, you probably shouldn't hold your breath.

And another one of Oliver Stone's brilliant ideas is to make a film about President George W Bush. And make it now, damnit! Speaking to Daily Variety, Oliver Stone laid out his plans for the George Bush movie:

Stone, an outspoken critic of the Bush administration's invasion of Iraq, told the trade publication he's not looking to make an anti-Bush polemic. He said he wants "a fair, true portrait of the man. How did Bush go from being an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world?" … Stone told Daily Variety that "Bush" is "a behind-the-scenes approach, similar to 'Nixon,' to give a sense of what it's like to be in his skin." It will "contain surprises for Bush supporters and his detractors," he said.

Now, as good an idea as it might seem to make a movie about an outgoing president – especially one as spectacularly unpopular as George Bush – it's worth remembering that both JFK and Nixon were made decades after the events they depicted, allowing Oliver Stone some perspective on the people the movies focused on. But Oliver Stone wants Bush to be released when George Bush is still president and all pushed up in everyone's face like a safari park monkey that won't let go of your windscreen even though you've got the wipers turned on full blast. 

The point being that without a bit of room between Bush's presidency and the movie's release, Bush might end up as a bad daytime TV biopic or, worse, a Michael Moore film with actors instead of an annoyingly patronising fat bloke shouting at a building.

Still, we'll get to see what Bush is like just as soon as Oliver Stone gets the finance to put it together. And if it's a tenth as good as Alexander… well, if it's a tenth as good as Alexander it'd probably kill everyone who watches it stone dead. Seriously, have you seen Alexander?

Read more: 

Oliver Stone Looks to Direct 'Bush' - AP