Posts tagged as:

gay

X Factor’s Craig Colton Is Sooooo Gay

by Robin Darke

It’s been a rather eventful for homosexuals this week. It’s been like a bad episode of Big Brother with people coming in and going out. Or like Frankie Cocozzo’s pee-pipe when he visits the GUM clinic. He’s probably had more pricks in there than George Michael has had hot cocks. Zachary Quinto, the World’s hairiest [...]

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Zachary Quinto Likes Having Sex With Men, Not Women, Because Women Are Stupid

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Zachary Quinto? He’s the baddie from Heroes. He’s the latest Spock from Star Trek: Generation X or whatever it was called. Well, there’s a chance you women have seen him and like his mountainous, rugged head. Well he hates yours. He doesn’t like the sleek curves of a lady’s face. He is completely unaroused [...]

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American Army Are Just Big Gay Barbie Girls (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell)

by Mof Gimmers

Don’t ask, don’t tell. That’s been the official line of the United States on gays serving in the military. They don’t want homosexuals sullying the forces with all those feelings and dance moves. Of course, you’re completely allowed to be gay in America. That’s fine. And America has a lot of gay people. In fact, [...]

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Suicidal Louis Walsh Blabs About Cheryl Cole’s Love Life Like An Idiot

by Mof Gimmers

Louis Walsh. He’s been on the brink of a nervous breakdown since the last series of The X Factor when he got spectacularly angry about the existence of the film, Gummo. We’ve assumed that he’s been going under thanks to working with Jedward. That or some suffocating closeting he’s imposed on himself surrounding rumours of [...]

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Everyone Is Pointing At George Clooney And Mouthing The Word ‘Gay’

by Mof Gimmers

In Hollywood, it seems that only marriage to a member of the opposite sex will stop people from assuming you’re gay, despite the fact it seems that your member has been in-and-out of a staggering amount of eligible beautiful women. We are, of course, talking about George Clooney, as the headline already told you. Of [...]

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Lady GaGa Isn’t Exploiting Gays, Rather, Setting Up An Army To Take Over The World

by Mof Gimmers

Stand up for the gays and you get accused of being a gay yourself. That’s the law of the schoolyard. However, when you’re massively famous and acknowledge that you don’t mind which gender you have sex with, the catcalls need to be shifted slightly. So, in the instance that accusing Lady GaGa of being a [...]

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Louis Walsh Cleared Of Indecent Assault As ‘Victim’ Decided He Quite Liked It Or Something. We Weren’t Really Listening.

by Mof Gimmers

Louis Walsh was recently accused of indecent assault in a nightclub toilets in Dublin. That’s great isn’t it? All indecent assaults seem to take place in toilets. It must be something to do with the wonderful bouquet given off by urinal cakes. Anyway, some fella has said that Walsh went for his groin and it [...]

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Surprising First ‘Louis Walsh Groped Some Fella’ Story

by Mof Gimmers

Louis Walsh, of X Factor and impresario behind Westlife and Boyzone, is a man much mocked. Firstly, he’s mocked for his terrible taste in music. Secondly, he’s quite clearly in the middle of very long nervous breakdown. Thirdly, everyone likes to point at him and say ‘gay’. Now, with a combination of the stresses of [...]

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Cee Lo Green Isn’t A Homophobe- Except When He’s Being Homophobic

by Michael Park

Here at hecklerspray, we know a good pie when we see one and our love of their consumption is legendary the world over. However, our combined level of the consumption of the humble steak and kidney can be rapidly outstripped by human food vacuum Cee Lo Green. You might remember Cee Lo from that piss awful [...]

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Ricky Martin And The Evil Gays

by Mof Gimmers

Ricky Martin is gay. Okay? Got that? Good. Because ladies, like George Michael, it doesn’t matter how much you fancy him because, unless you’re in possession of some unsightly testicles, he wouldn’t touch you with a shitty stick. However, like many homosexuals, Ricky found it difficult to come out of his closet. What made it [...]

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