Articles tagged with: gay
Sorry Girls, George Takei Is Off The Market
Ladies, we know that when someone's making love to you, you're really fantasising about George Takei - but it's too late. That's because, ladies, we're sorry to admit that George Takei has got married. Your dreams of Mr Sulu appearing at your doorstep on a white steed to whisk you away to a life on unparalleled luxury are worthless now, because this weekend George Takei got married to a very lucky lady by the name of Brad Altman. Huh, Brad Altman. That's a funny and oddly-masculine name for a lady to have. In fact, looking at George Takei's wedding pictures, his new wife bears an uncanny resemblance to a balding grey-haired man in his mid-fifties. Poor woman. Still, she must be great in the sack to snag a pussy-magnet like George Takei, so who are we to judge.
Ladies, we know that when someone's making love to you, you're really fantasising about George Takei - but it's too late. That's because, ladies, we're sorry to admit that George Takei has got married. Your dreams of Mr Sulu appearing at your doorstep on a white steed to whisk you away to a life on unparalleled luxury are worthless now, because this weekend George Takei got married to a very lucky lady by the name of Brad Altman. Huh, Brad Altman. That's a funny and oddly-masculine name for a lady to have. In fact, looking at George Takei's wedding pictures, his new wife bears an uncanny resemblance to a balding grey-haired man in his mid-fifties. Poor woman. Still, she must be great in the sack to snag a pussy-magnet like George Takei, so who are we to judge.
Lindsay Lohan This Close To Marrying Samantha Ronson, Maybe
There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more. Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life - a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan's dad together - and now it looks like they want to make their union official. That's right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let's just pray that they don't accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we've seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we'll never recover from.
There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more. Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life - a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan's dad together - and now it looks like they want to make their union official. That's right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let's just pray that they don't accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we've seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we'll never recover from.
Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Won’t Take Her up the Aisle
She may have officially become one of the world's dullest people, not bothering to get into even the most minor of mishaps, but we're still sticking with the girl. Because we like Lindsay Lohan - how could we not? She's given us so much entertainment, so many words to write and so much vitriolic rage to spew. It's hard to be really very mad at an old friend. But it wouldn't seem that hard for Lindsay's 'born-again Christian ex-convict of an absentee father' (copyright Stuart Heritage 2008), Michael Lohan, to give up on his own flesh and blood for mere 'religious' reasons. Big Mike has decided he can't walk his daughter down the aisle should her rumoured gay wedding come to fruition, as it would go against his born-again Christianity belief system. You've got to love religion. Especially when it's one that you've been turned on to about four minutes ago. Whereas your daughter has been around for most of her life. Can't argue with the man's priorities, we suppose.
She may have officially become one of the world's dullest people, not bothering to get into even the most minor of mishaps, but we're still sticking with the girl. Because we like Lindsay Lohan - how could we not? She's given us so much entertainment, so many words to write and so much vitriolic rage to spew. It's hard to be really very mad at an old friend. But it wouldn't seem that hard for Lindsay's 'born-again Christian ex-convict of an absentee father' (copyright Stuart Heritage 2008), Michael Lohan, to give up on his own flesh and blood for mere 'religious' reasons. Big Mike has decided he can't walk his daughter down the aisle should her rumoured gay wedding come to fruition, as it would go against his born-again Christianity belief system. You've got to love religion. Especially when it's one that you've been turned on to about four minutes ago. Whereas your daughter has been around for most of her life. Can't argue with the man's priorities, we suppose.
Lindsay Lohan Kills Off Any Chance of Her Being Interesting Again With Gay Wedding
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
Pete Wentz Used To Have A Gay Old Time
If you’ve ever been to a wedding, or seen one on the TV, or in a film, or read about them, or just, well, know anything about them at all, you’ll know that before the happy couple can be officially married the priest will say: “If anyone knows reasons why these two can’t be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Whenever that’s said, you know if would be amusing for someone to stand up and say something - be it someone screaming: “I’m pregnant with his child!” or: “he’s a wife beater!” or even the ever-popular: "he gave me some kind of incurable VD on his stag night, and he's quite possibly a vampire!"
Mr Sulu To Gay-Marry Everyone, Or Just His Boyfriend Or Whatever
Everyone loves a good homemade honeymoon sex video that's been leaked onto the internet, don't they? Which is why everyone should prepare themselves for the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes. Or, to be more precise, the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes featuring a 71-year-old Asian man humping his 54-year-old husband with every ounce of strength left in his feeble body. That's right - George Takei fron Star Trek is getting married! News of George Takei's wedding comes hot on the heels of California overturning its ban on gay marriage. And, as happy as we are that George Takei can formalise a relationship he's had for 21 years, maybe this new law will make it easier for other closeted gay actors to finally come out and stop living a lie. That's right, Doogie Howser, we're looking at you.
Everyone loves a good homemade honeymoon sex video that's been leaked onto the internet, don't they? Which is why everyone should prepare themselves for the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes. Or, to be more precise, the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes featuring a 71-year-old Asian man humping his 54-year-old husband with every ounce of strength left in his feeble body. That's right - George Takei fron Star Trek is getting married! News of George Takei's wedding comes hot on the heels of California overturning its ban on gay marriage. And, as happy as we are that George Takei can formalise a relationship he's had for 21 years, maybe this new law will make it easier for other closeted gay actors to finally come out and stop living a lie. That's right, Doogie Howser, we're looking at you.
Ellen & Portia To Sob About Puppies As Properly Married Couple
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
Michelle Rodriguez Won’t Tell Us What She Puts In Her Vagina
Michelle Rodriguez: gay or straight? That's probably the question that keeps you awake most at night, admit it. Ah, who are we kidding? There isn't a soul on the face of the planet who really gives very much of a sniff about Michelle Rodriguez's sexuality at all. Apart from Michelle Rodriguez, that is. She just refuses to ever bloody shut up about it. And, for your information, Michelle Rodriguez is keeping it a secret. She says "If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business." Oh my god. Michelle Rodriguez totally fucks dogs.
Michelle Rodriguez: gay or straight? That's probably the question that keeps you awake most at night, admit it. Ah, who are we kidding? There isn't a soul on the face of the planet who really gives very much of a sniff about Michelle Rodriguez's sexuality at all. Apart from Michelle Rodriguez, that is. She just refuses to ever bloody shut up about it. And, for your information, Michelle Rodriguez is keeping it a secret. She says "If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business." Oh my god. Michelle Rodriguez totally fucks dogs.
